Closed for business
In some ways I never thought this day would come, but I’ve been feeling the need for a while now: I’m closing this blog. Not necessarily forever – because I don’t want to be one of those bloggers that makes some grand exit statement and flounces off, only to reappear back at the same URL a few months later – but for the near future, at least. Who knows, I might end up back here at some point, writing about any number of things. Or this might become another internet artifact.
I don’t have a grand exit statement, other than this blog has run its course and is no longer good for me. I’ve written here for over seven years, and now it’s time to pack up and start over. You might say that’s just a psychological thing, and yes, I’m sure it is; but I need the feeling of a fresh start.
I’m tired of feeling the breath on my neck from readers ready to latch onto any word and twist it based on their own bizarre motivations. I’m exhausted from trying to explain myself and anticipate attacks. The imperative to self-censor has become too great a feeling, and as much as I’ve tried to soldier on, I’ve realized I can’t, and it would be foolish to continue trying.
I’m not going to be ultra secretive about my new location, and if you try hard enough (it’s not even all that hard), you’ll be able to find it. I’m not keeping it a secret, I’m just not publicizing it. If you do find and choose to lurk in my new space, there can be no misunderstanding as to its purpose. It is mine to do with as I choose, and its use is at my sole discretion.
In its time, this blog has been good to me and led me to some really great things. With any luck, the new blog will do the same.
See y’all later.
Twitter updates for 2009-06-15
- My latest (and last?) “Thanks for the memories” video: http://blip.tv/file/2241588/ #
- How much do I love LottaFrutta?? I think it will need to become a Monday morning tradition. Great way to start off the week. #
- Unfortunately it looks like one of my work monitors may be on its last legs. #
- Guy from Freecycle is supposedly coming to pick up all my old Apple stuff tonight. But, he sounded like a stoner. Are they worse than CL? #
- . @SnellvilleBlog – They’re coming to the house but I might not be there, Rusty might; and anyway all of Twitter knows now! :P #
- Multi-tasking like a mofo #
- Putting all the Freecycle stuff by the door in case this joker actually shows up before I leave for class. #
- I think I’m losing my mind. I can’t find one of the books I have for sale on Ebay (and it has a bid) :P #
- I keep thinking tomorrow is Wednesday #
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Farewell to the Apple IIe and Mac Plus
Here’s what will probably be the last of my “Thanks for the memories” videos. Sorry for the camera shaking at the beginning; hopefully it’s not bad enough to make anyone seasick.
I talk about the Apple IIe and the Mac Plus. (I also have an Apple IIgs Woz Limited Edition but I couldn’t think of anything to say about it!)
links for 2009-06-15
Twitter updates for 2009-06-14
- Trying to wake up, so we can go to breakfast at Solstice Cafe and then go take some pictures. #
- Not terribly impressed w/ Solstice Cafe, but you never know until you try! Also, took some neat pictures on Memorial Dr. #
- @jaclynf – No, I’m where I always am: Atlanta! #
- Listening to a mockingbird outside my window :) #
- OMG the Seminole Rap http://bit.ly/o1zLM
Seriously you guys # - @sunluff – I really enjoyed that book #
- I think I’m going to end my blog and start a new one. You heard it here first folks. :P #
- Sometimes I wish I had been a late-90s cam girl. #
- I think I want to make some art. #
- Wasting time #
- I really need to go back to Gwinnett County and get this lamp for our house. http://bit.ly/2D7Jex #
- Trying to motivate myself to go run some errands. #
- You can tell @thomasls has a nice camera, it gets so much more depth than mine! http://www.flickr.com/photos/amberlrhea/3626396696/ #
- I need to admit that the begonias in the windowboxes aren’t going to make it, and just take down the windowboxes. #
- Creepy Flickr message of the day: “like to see your face as i am jerking” #
- @debaucheddiva – That’s what I’d like to know! Oh well. The ones I planted in the ground are doing great. #
- @sononick – Every time I get such a message I wonder the same thing. Seriously, what must that be like, in their world? #
- This headache will not go away. I don’t think I should take any more Excedrin, tho. :\ #
- Talking to Gran. She says: “Life is so complicated now.” #
- I have some vintage Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars for sale on Ebay, in case that’s your thing: http://is.gd/120Al #
- My favorite is Mr. May 2010: http://bit.ly/1a81kr #
- I just stumbled onto a blog post that has *780 comments.* Holy crap people. #
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Twitter updates for 2009-06-13
- About to do some cookin’ for a SPARK potluck lunch I’m going to today. This is not a typical Sat. activity for me! (the cooking, I mean) #
- @absurdities – I have EST privilege #
- Annoyed by blog comments, again. Same shit different day! (a thread on someone else’s blog, not mine) #
- I should just stop reading all blogs except a small few I can count on one hand. Zero out my Twitterstream, too. #
- Ok… we can’t figure out who gave us the (awesome) stainless steel canister set at the housewarming party. #
- Tried to assemble bird feeder mounting pole and failed :\ #
- Obama disappointed some of his formerly ardent, extremely annoying supporters. Color me completely unsurprised. #
- I hate when I find typos in old blog posts of mine #
- Home, w/ tons of leftover baked ziti. (Plus the leftover stuffed peppers from last night!) Nap time now. #
- Microsoft makes something called “Health Vault?” Give me a break. #
- Couldn’t agree more! http://is.gd/119R2 (wow, Salon published something GOOD!) #
- Also a must-read is Octo’s response piece: http://is.gd/11a8Q #
- @jenbrock – Wait, who is “C?” #
- Woman on the phone at starbucks wants to know what “ethos” means. She keeps spelling it. #
- @SpaceyG – Is @Gita on your list? #
- Need to work on new blog design, Sex 2.0 stuff, and several other things. But, inertia. #
- Wait, who is Rob Thomas again? Remind me. Was he in a goth metal band? No wait, that’s Rob Zombie. Hmm… #
- Downloading 80s music on the iTunes store #
- If I buy an iPhone, I wonder if it’ll be a PITA to transfer my 1400 songs from my iPod to it #
- @elizabethSITPS – Aha! That’s him! :) (of course, I could’ve just used the Google…) #
- Of Montreal is playing at Bonnaroo? Seriously? *sigh*… it’s the end of an era. #
- Everyone’s first tweet: “Setting up Twitter”; “Joining Twitter;” “Trying to figure out Twitter”; “What do I do w/ this thing?” #
- Here’s what we need to do soon: 80s movie night. How long has it been since YOU’VE seen St. Elmo’s Fire? #
- I wish someone would draw an interpretive illustration of me like the one on @seasonothebitch’s Tumblr http://champagnecandy.tumblr.com/ #
- I forgot I wrote this, almost a year ago – http://is.gd/11mic – and you know what, it’s a damn good post! #
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Once again…
…tonight, I’m having that thought, of what would happen if I really truly stopped apologizing for who I am, for taking up space, for having feelings, for having quirks, for being me? If I stopped cloaking my vulnerability in sarcastic self-deprecating asides about “navel-gazing” and being “emo?”
What would that be like?
Every few months/years/whatever I have this moment of, good lord, that would be REALLY different, maybe I should try it! And I’ve been steadily moving toward it for years, but let me tell you, it’s REALLY fucking hard. This isn’t just psychobabble, people.
What would happen if I really did enact that personal revolution?
One quick thing
No time to write the long response post right now because I’m about to head out to a potluck lunch for SPARK. But I do want to say, some of the comments kind of irritate me because it sounds like people think I have trouble talking about the fact that I have dealt with depression for years and take medication for it. That, I have no qualms whatsoever about mentioning, and in fact sometimes I can be rather aggressive about inserting it into conversations when I perceive the discussion is veering toward “judgmental, ignorant, and assholish regarding mental illness.”
It’s probably not fair of me to be irritated but I just wanted to draw the distinction. I’m not writing about coming to terms with “admitting” that I have depression or how awful it is to “admit” that I take meds. Fuck that. This is something I deal with, the meds are necessary and I would not be alive without them, people can either believe me or blow it out their ass. The stuff I’ve written about so far and intend to write more about, either here or in another space, is more of a higher level thing of confronting my own internalized prejudices/stigma about the concept of disability, and how society in general perceives disability, including a lot of the language around it (e.g., the idea that a person w/ a disability is “damaged” – you would not believe the back and forth I was having w/ myself in the shower this morning over that concept!)
links for 2009-06-13
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"Ideally, Flint wouldn't be attractive. Very unfortunately, she is attractive, so the least she could have done was glossed over it in an embarrassed and perhaps even a little flustered manner. But no, she flaunts it in not one, not two, not three but four pictures for the Observer last month. Apparently, these pictures are synonymous with her career. Flint is 'showy'. As the papers and blogland show, the two can't go together. She was defined by her looks from the beginning (even before those pictures, the Press was fixated on her attractiveness). The photoshoot, only done a month ago (whilst she's been in the Cabinet for most of this decade), is an excuse not to take her seriously. It's an excuse for Gordon Brown to keep her on the periphery (if that is, indeed, what he did and what he intended). She can't have an active role in politics, not now. She asked for it. She's window-dressing.
I'm just waiting for the 'but she's not even pretty' bloggers to come out."
Twitter updates for 2009-06-12
- Spam subject line: Video of Vomiting Stars. It dawned on me that they probably mean celebrities, but that wasn’t my 1st mental picture. #
- Housewarming party pics (captions to come later) http://www.flickr.com/photos/amberlrhea/sets/72157619536602691/ #
- …which reminds me: need to write thank you cards! It’s always so odd to actually, like, *write* stuff. /obligatory exaggeration #
- Thanks for the shout-out @SpaceyG! #
- This day is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S #
- Listening to an Eastern towhee outside my window telling me to drink my tea #
- Sleepy. Inspired but lacking motivation. Slight headache. Wondering what to do next. #
- I suppose the Sex 2.0 email can wait for a few more days. I need some “me” time in a big way. #
- Tried to sign up for Freecycle but haven’t received a password. Tried again to make sure it went thru and it said my username was taken. #
- Silver Christmas bells for sale – in case that’s your thing http://bit.ly/14OBDp #
- Spam subject line: “You will have problems” #
- Fragments: Sex http://bit.ly/oLYgi #
- So I guess everybody’s supposed to sign up for their Facebook username real quick now that it’s after midnight? #
- -thing here that I shouldn’t really tweet about how people I know who grew up rich don’t have real jobs now- #
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