Fun with Christianity

Sunday, August 22, 2004 | 1:10 am

A couple of things (both of which were lifted from other blogs, but which I found too stellar not to post here — so, credit due to Dave and Patrick) for your web-surfing pleasure…

Date to Save — Missionary Dating
Favorite quote: "The Bible says ‘man looks at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart.’ We’re definitely not God, so just decide if your date is hot enough for you (after praying about it, of course)."
(The Jesus thong is also nice.)

God is a Hardass
Favorite quote: "Old Testament God ain’t letting Himself get nailed to any pussy crosses for your sinning ass"
…not to mention Pinkerton’s favorite God quote at the bottom of the page.

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6 Responses to "Fun with Christianity"

  1. sarabeth says:
    August 23rd, 2004 at 1:50 pm

    I looked at the first website. are they serious?

  2. Amber says:
    August 23rd, 2004 at 2:02 pm

    I doubt it.

  3. Jmac says:
    August 26th, 2004 at 1:49 am

    We definitely need more Malachi references. I’ll have to see if my pastor will do something on him….

    Of course, considering the success of ‘The Prince of Egypt’ I’m still shopping around my idea for the cartoon adaption of Lot’s life. You know, flee Sodom and then watch as your wife is turned to a pillar of salt. Get drunk and frisky with your daughters.

    Someone get Disney on the phone.

  4. Amber says:
    August 26th, 2004 at 8:20 am

    Don’t forget the part about offering to whore out your daughters to the townspeople.

  5. Xon says:
    August 26th, 2004 at 9:21 pm

    Hey, anything’s better than raping angels of the Lord! The man was a pragmatist.

  6. Xon says:
    August 26th, 2004 at 9:24 pm

    One of my favorite passages of Malachi is when the Lord says, “Surely I will come to my Temple…”

    This passage is often interpreted as one of the promises of the Messiah, such as in Handel’s classic opus. Indeed, it is about Messiah, but it’s not nearly so cheery as people often make it out to be. People think “Aw, how sweet, God’s promising His people that He will one day return to the Temple that they had made for Him.”

    But really, it’s more like a threat. The whiny covenant people of God, turning away from His law and at the same time whining about how God has abandoned them. God answers back with “Oh, I’ll come back some day, don’t you worry…and all will be made right…starting with you.”

    “Don’t make me return to my Temple!”