I can’t believe I haven’t posted anything since Wednesday. I feel like I’m letting you down, dear readers.
I’m in Augusta right now, and will be here until Sunday afternoon. Augusta is a weird place; this is something I realize more clearly each time I come here (as if 18 years of it wasn’t enough to beat that fact into my skull).
Today my mom started going through the Yellow Pages calling every place listed under “Coffee Shops” to ask if they had free wireless. She decided to take it upon herself after I wondered aloud whether there was anywhere in this town with free wireless. (I want to work on some programming projects, not to mention catch up on email, but I can’t get a damn thing done at my parents’ house, because they’re always bugging me.) She called one place and the exchange went something like this (from what she told me afterward - I, of course, could only hear her side of it, which was pretty funny by itself):
Mom: Hi, I was wondering if you have free wireless.
Guy: What? What do you mean?
Mom: Wireless internet service… I was wondering if you have it.
Guy: (suspicious) Why?
[Mom hangs up in disgust and recounts this brief exchange to me; we laugh]
[Phone rings]
Mom: Hello?
Guy: (yes, the same guy) Hi, how are you doing!!
Mom: I’m fine, how are you?
Guy: You just called asking about wireless internet. Why do you want to know that?!
Mom: (annoyed) I am a person who lives in this community, and I am trying to find out if there are any coffee shops that offer wireless internet access to their customers.
Guy: Oh. Because, you know, there are people who, if they know you have wireless internet, they come park their car in front of your store after hours and steal your internet.
Mom: (impatient) Yes, I’ve heard of people doing that.
Guy: (suddenly cordial; realizes that she’s not out to steal his bandwidth) I think the Metro has it… no wait… it’s Mocha Delite. On 5th Street. I think they have it.
Mom: Okay, thank you. [hangs up]
I don’t even remember the name of the place she called, but apparently it wasn’t a sit-down cafe.
Anyway. Bizarre, I tell you.
I might get together with Jen (I’m pimping her new blog) tonight and “show her the river.” No, that’s not a euphemism for naked giggling pillow fights. Don’t get excited guys.
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9 Responses to "Typical Augusta"
Not that it’s relevant to this post, but the Google ad right now is listing you for sale. It says:
I see it too. That’s too damn funny.
Well, the ads I currently see are “Coffee Exposed” and “Starbucks: Free Gift Card,” but I’ve noticed the Amber ones as well. Pat mentioned it the other day, also. I guess the internets are pimping me? Too bad I didn’t know, I’d like to see some of the profits…
i know metro has it. i read about it in one of thier ads. problem is-eventhough it is now smoke free during the day…it isnt at night. therefore, for those of us who arent smokers-it smells.
i know that you jen and shelby are having an affair!
Oh yeah thats hot….wireless internet.
Damn, Mae… I asked you to keep it on the DL!
I recently ate lunch with some coworkers, and one of them looks me in the eye and goes, “what is wiffy? this place has it for free.” Oh yeah, she did. (maybe your mom could go there, but hey, it was in SF)
I’m sure the merchandise ain’t so bad, either.
8-D