I am annoyed and vaguely depressed. I’ve decided to blame the cold/allergy medicine I’ve been taking since yesterday. I started taking it because apparently I am allergic to Augusta. So yeah, I’m blaming my mood on that, even though I really feel like people are acting like j-holes today, and they shouldn’t get away with it, no they shouldn’t.
Forgot to mention, when Jen and I went down to the First Friday thing in Augusta, someone gave me a Chick Tract. Those things are great. This one was all about how this pastor and his wife who worked in Africa for 50 years building schools and hospitals, teaching people to read and helping them grow food, etc., are going to hell because they didn’t tell the Africans “how to get saved”; but this guy who just got out of prison (where he’d been serving a sentence for “killing a guy in a drunken brawl”) is going to heaven, because he converted his cellmate. Hmmm… you know, if that’s supposed to make me want to be a Christian, then it seriously backfired…
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These are so classy.
I liked countering islamic prostlytising as well as learning that jews and catholics are going to hell. Oh, and that the latter were responsible for the holocaust.
uggh.
This does bring up the question…are any brawls outside of those on a sporting field not drunken??
This is the one I was given: Flight144.
I’ve acquired several others in my years, but I would really like to get my hands on this one.
When I lived in San Francisco and Santa Cruz, I used to find those things at the bus stop all the time. I’ve still got a few packed away somewhere.
Ok besides the fact that both of those just piss me off really…the “YAAAAHHH” when the Davidsons are cast into hell is pretty funny.
I think the moral of the story is “Don’t ever go to a queer dentist.”
Or, ‘don’t go to a dentist.’
I wouldn’t go to any dentist that had a demon on his back and/or emerging from his chest. That is the real story here.
Oh my various deities! I think I just recommended the murder of Jesus Christ.
Garrett, you are going to hell.
Say hi to all the Godless sodomites and their “gay machine” when you get there… this is awesome:
Jenny, are you out there, are you reading this? It’s the Gay Machine!! Is that like the Gay Movement you keep hearing so much about?
So, this Agressive Gay Machine, uh… Is there a portable model? Cuz, I’m uh… going on vacation, and I want to take the Gay Machine with me…
These are awesome.
I think my favourite Chick Tract is one we had blown up and shown on a projector on a wall during a party. I think it was something about teen suicide or something. I just remember one great line, “Hell is one cool place!” that everyone really liked.
Anyways, I love these tracts. I used to have a bunch of them from my days in retail hell, but they all seem to have disappeared during my many moves since then. Go check out this great Suck bit on Chick and then…well, I was looking for some of the chick parodies out there, but the best ones (the evolution one in particular) seem to have been removed…
I used to have an excellent collection of Chick Tracts stored away in some container in our den, but I can’t find them. My favorite was one about some guy selling his soul to the devil, though the Islamic one was quite entertaining as well.
They pass those things out like candy at the concrete store on Highway 441 going toward Commerce. I remember during the campaign season, my wife and I went there to get some birthday gift for someone and we pull up in with our ‘Kerry/Edwards’ sticker on our car. Got a couple of looks, but no one scolded us.
My other favorite experience (unrelated to Chick Tracts) is when I covered a football game at Athens Christian. Now, while I disagree with the politics and some theology of the those folks, they are good people whom I really like. Anywho, somehow I had gotten into a discussion with the athletic director about what church I went to. His father is the announcer for the football games (and also doubles as the school’s director), saw me and said ‘Tim says you’re a believer’ … to which I replied ‘well, I’m a Methodist.’