Snippet of a conversation from yesterday at lunch:
Co-worker: I don’t know why Jessica [Simpson] would want to get rid of Nick [Lachey].
Me: Pssshh… he’s not that great of a catch.
Co-worker: You don’t think so?
Me: Uh, no. He’s not my type, anyway.
Another co-worker: He’s no Eric Meyer, that’s for sure
Me: Exactly! An excellent point! Oh that Eric Meyer, the way he wields that CSS…
Think of this as a lead-in to the post I’ll write later about body image, standards of beauty, and how the mainstream media shapes (or doesn’t shape) our perceptions thereof. Alley Rat started it, and now everyone is talking about it. (Beware: there are ginormous j-holes afoot in that Pandagon thread.)
READ ME: Disclaimer
18 Responses to "Turn-on: CSS skillz"
I can’t believe this isn’t a post about how retarded it was for people to be talking about Jessica Simpson’s marriage in the first place, but I agree the media has gotsta go.
Well, I mean, that goes without saying.
Why is Nick Lachey not so much of a catch? Because he’s a tool with no real personality.
You all are just jealous.
Seriously, you can’t possibly know enough about the guy to form that opinion.
Cari, I didn’t realize you had such a close personal relationship with Nick. Why don’t you fill us in?
Nick Lachey is not attractive to me whatsoever. He looks like an oaf.
I have to say, after learning about CSS (of which I still feel a novice), I think that knowing that stuff is definitely sexy… or at least helpful. And Nick Lachey is hot. But not as hot as Jake Gyllenhaal.
Did I say that I did Amber? No, I just said that Thomas can’t possibly, which is not the same as saying I do.
Oh and Duane is right on. I like Nick, but not as much as Jake.
OK. I just looked at that page and found out that his solo album after he left 98 Degrees was called “Soul-O”. That’s enough for me. I’m calling him a tool, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
He always looked all glazed and slightly as if he wasn’t sure what had happened to him, IMHO. Of course, I dont think either of them has two braincells to rub together.
I agree he has a toolish look, but then, I’ve met some very nice and pleasant tools in my day.
Jessica Simpson is, however, a blithering twit that adds no value to society.
I’m just waiting for her career to falter to the point where’s she’s reduced to doing skinemax flicks and ‘reality’ shows like “Nick and Jessica: The Rehab Special” or “Binge and Purge: The Strange Trip of A Troubled Girl.”
Not that I’ll watch that crap, but it is always enjoyable to watch hollywood prop up, use and spit out the trash.
(I’d still fuck her.)
Nick and Jessica remind me of a couple of exceptionally-gifted kindergarteners.
Desmond Morris talks about differences between domesticated and wild dogs; because of all the pampering from owners providing them everything they need (shelter, food, companionship, etc.), most domesticated dogs act like immature puppies their entire life. There isn’t ever any reason for them to mentally/emotionally mature, because they don’t have to, wheras wild dogs are forced to actually grow up.
Nick and Jessica are Disney puppies. If you took away all their fame and money and made them get a real job, they might not be able to handle it, like what might happen if Michael Jackson actually went to jail and had to share a cell with somebody.
It’s not really any of their faults; blame their owners.
So wait… Adam, you’d like to fuck a kindergartener? That’s just sick, man…
Yeah, I would, if she were 22 and looked like that.
As long as she didn’t talk or anything I’m with Adam. Once she opened her mouth though it would be out the door with her. And to refresh everyone’s memory yes I am a male chauvanist pig :)
I watched pretty much the whole first season of Newlyweds. I don’t think either of them are stupid; they’re just way, way too ignorant, or innocent, to function without everything being handed to them. Like I said before, I don’t think it’s their fault. They just need to start learning things.
They’re even actually trying to function; I remember the one where Lachey tried to turn the dirt shit by his house, into a lawn. The fucknuts he hired were messing around eating Domino’s, and he was out there with the till, digging through mud, trying to get the shit done.
And also, like someone else said, it’ll be interesting to watch their lives eventually decay about ten years from now. Media loves to let us observe the results when celebrities spiral termanally down, like Whitney Houston. It’s entertaining.
Okay, does nobody else get the sense that the guys in the Alley Rat article are total “playas”? Their repentent plea of “society has taught me only how to love airbrushed Playboy centerfolds, woe is me” is a claim to victimization on one hand thus garnering the sympathy of the prof and on the other hand an implicit invite to any nuturing co-dependent female in the class to help teach these pitiful men how to love a truly natural and beautiful woman.
Or is that too cynical?