I am being medicated for my mysterious illness. No, I didn’t go to the doctor - apparently my phone conversation with her nurse was good enough for her, because she called in two prescriptions to my pharmacy today. So now I’m taking Cipro, which apparently treats the more plebeian afflictions in addition to exciting ones like anthrax; and Phenazopyridine, which makes me piss Vol orange - I shit you not. I mean, the nurse had told me, “it’ll make your pee orange,” but I guess I wasn’t expecting to issue BRIGHT ORANGE KOOL-AID from my bladder. More than one person has suggested (challenged?) that I take a picture and post it, but I think that might be crossing a line.
Anyway. Obligatory college football reference: If I bleed red and black, what does it say about me that I also pee orange? Hmmm.
Addendum: Perhaps the most alarming thing about the Phenazopyridine is the part on the patient info sheet that says, “Staining of the contact lenses has been reported.” WTF? This can only suggest that (a) they expect that I’ll be pissing on my contacts; or (b) my EYES WILL TURN ORANGE. Since (a) will not be happening, I’ve gotta put it all on (b) - and that’s a disturbing prospect indeed.
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22 Responses to "Seriously. Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid."
Oohh.. I had to take Cipro several months ago. I wasn’t having back pains, but there were some serious stomach and gastrointestinal issues going on. Cipro made it all better in just a couple of days. I hope I’ll never have to be on it again.
I believe that means you’ve caught the Vol STD. Shame on you!
What you *could* do is take a picture, and then find the color value in a photo-editing program, and give us a swatch. That way it’s not crossing the line, but we all get to see what color the pee is.
And I mean a digital color swatch, not the swiss watch of the same name. That’d be retarded.
Garrett: That’s actually not a bad idea. Nerdity reigns supreme! I might just do it, oh yes, I might.
Oh and way to take up all 4 of my recent comments. w00t!
Jen: I won’t dignify your comment with a response. Well, other than… ha!
At least she didn’t get the one that would make her cooter break out into spontaneous verses of Rocky Top.
I hate that doctors and nurses throw medicine at you, just because so many of them are in the pockets of the pharmacy companies! UGH!!!
Also, I think that they prescribe Cipro for everything. Cold? Cipro. Flu? Cipro. Bacterial infection (which is the only one so far that needed a prescription)? Cipro. Mangled hand? Cipro. What gives?
GAH. I can’t believe you actually wrote ‘cooter.’ For the record, people, I would never date anyone who used that word on a regular basis. Way to raise my hackles… gah.
Ha!!1!
Related links:
http://tinyurl.com/5324w
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The problem with tinyurls is that you can’t tell ahead of time if they’re work safe. Although, if you posted them at this hour, Pat, I guess they’d have to be.
The spring cooter fest was featured on the Daily Show a while back. Good stuff.
Yep, that’s why I loves me some tinyurl. Nothing like a good goatse to get the blood flowing.
I don’t use “cooter” often either, but I have to say, most of the people who break out into spontaneous verses of Rocky Top could be just as easily described as “vaginas”, so it works either way.
Are you trying to bait me, Garrett? [insert rant here about euphemisms for female genitalia being used as insults]
Well, isn’t it done with male genetalia too?
I think I saw that video on the internet once.
To an extent, yes. (Except for the one about saying someone “has the balls” to do something. I think we should start saying “has the ovaries” - not like you didn’t see that one coming. Or maybe “has the clit.”) ANYWAY. Just blame it all on this fabulous anti-sex society in which we live!
[commence more flameage from the wingnut brigade]
I think something like, “God! That woman has got a set of Fallopian tubes on her!” would be awesome.
That kicks ass. You know I love you. :)
My wife has used “she needs to grow some ovaries” in the past.
Amber, let’s not be silly. It’s not “wingnuts” who call other people ‘dicks’ or ‘pussies’. We need only look at the long history of your own blog to see that.
I wasn’t talking about that, Charles - I was talking about my comment about an anti-sex society.
Gah.