From USA Today: ‘Technical virginity’ becomes part of teens’ equation. (This is still news?)
The article, full of the same old crap they’ve been reporting on at least since I was in high school, contains the following excerpt from Questions Kids Ask About Sex, an “abstinence education” textbook:
“Sex occurs when one person touches another person’s genitals and causes that person to get sexually excited,” the book states. “A girl or boy who’s had oral sex doesn’t feel or think like a virgin anymore, because he or she has had a form of sex.”
Huh? Doesn’t “feel or think like a virgin”? How, exactly, does a virgin feel and think that is so radically different from how the rest of us feel and think? I don’t remember any fireworks going off and my mind being suddenly, permanently altered after the first time I got laid. But hell, what do I know. When you define people solely by their sexual behavior, as the “rah rah abstinence” folks ironically like to do, I guess it’s not that big of a deal to make sweeping, grandiose statements about the thoughts and feelings of virgins vs. non-virgins.
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20 Responses to "Oral Sex Expands Your Mind..?"
What about the RAH RAH FUCK people? Don’t they get a voice?
MRUURHHGGH ARRGHHH SWOOOPHEISSH MRUUUGHRGH libby-libby-libby-libby-libby (you like that?) libby-libby-libby
Which is better|smarter|ignorant?
A. Ignorant 16 year-old virgin
B. Ignorant 16 year-old experienced 16 year-old
ANSWER: Rated M for Mature.
“Welcome to 1984 / knock knock on your front door”
OK, I’m lit and just riffing but I don’t remember the first time I had sex but I certainly remember the first time my shower lasted much longer than normal. Oh, and shampoo burns if it gets in your spongy urethra.
/just sayin’
Hey I’m also gonna pimp a pub I’m in: http://www.stwa.net/tsg/index.htm
Oral sex is not sex. C’mon. Don’t we all subscribe to Clinton’s defintion?
I really shouldn’t post comments here. I’m never as nice as I should be.
Ken: don’t worry about it, knock yourself out. I don’t even know what you were talking about in your first comment, anyway.
It’s like Eve eating from the tree of knowledge. (that’s right, I called it the tree of knowledge)
“Now it’s 1984…”
C’mon, you know better than that.
Eatin’ ain’t cheatin’?
Or the other one?
I personally find Ken’s description to be accurate and relevent. By which I mean, death to teenagers for being such dumb fucks all the time. And I don’t mean fucks fucks, I mean fucks fucks. Seriously, I hated teenagers when I was a teenager.
I love the “doesn’t feel or think like a virgin anymore.” Because, you know, virgins never think about sex. They just sort of stumble on it one day and then become altered. Much like you did, I’m sure, because I think you are just repressing the fireworks that went off and altered you.
The “virgin community”
Hahaha…That makes me laugh for some reason.
That community has never known the touch of a man (or woman)!
To all the virgins out there:
thanks for nothing.
I understand what Ken means, especially that last part.
Man, if there was a virgin community, i don’t think it would be in existance for very long. Think about all the folks who would go trolling there.
The “technical virgin” community would be the kinkiest place around, what with all the buttfucking and blowjobs and whatnot.
Alyssa:
Good point. That, or if they actually stuck to their guns (as it were), they’d all just die out. Like the Shakers. Was it Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert who said something about that recently?
Rusty:
Ha!!1! A very good observation.
It was Jon Stewart. :)
No, it was Colbert in the “This Week in God” segment.
He ruined my joke that I use every summer when teaching the reading classes to the middle and high schoolers. We read a book about a Shaker family, and I always have to explain who the Shakers were. The “no sex, even if you’re married” always gets a laugh and breaks the ice. Now it’s been on the Daily Show, so I’ll just look like I’m ripping them off.
And Elizabethtown has now ruined my “insider’s” knowledge of how to pronounce “Louisville.”
Then is was neither one if it was in “This Week in God” because Rob Corddry did it last week. Ugh. This is what happens when you get old. The memory just goes.
Don’t talk to me about getting old, you young’un! You are aware that I will be hitting the big 2-6 next weekend…