Whenever I get to feeling a little too bummed from reading depressing blog posts, I reach a point where I say, “That’s enough!” and just stop reading those blogs for a while, and look for something to cheer me up instead. Sometimes it might be as simple as reminding myself that my friends are out there and they are awesome. Often it’s the GDBF. And sometimes it comes from the blogosphere. Thanks to Kevin of Slant Truth, for restoring my faith in humanity this afternoon:
Why do so many of us men back down from offering our full support to women who have “allegedly” been raped (yes, those scare quotes are there for a reason). It’s always the same line as well. You know the line too a?? either the “what if she’s lying” bit or the we should “wait and see what the verdict is” bit. What a bunch of bullshit. I guarantee you that if a bunch of white dudes (or anyone for that matter) kicked my ass in an alley and then sexually assualted me, there were no other witnesses, and I went to the police about it, not a single one of you would be pulling this “what if he’s lying” nonsense. So what are you really afraid of? And for the “wait and see” line. That’s exactly what we’re doing! Why should that stop someone from pointing out that we’ve been waiting an awful long time? Why should that stop us men from supporting the woman who has been assaulted?
Of course, that quote could be interpreted as a cause for further distress, but no; because it shows that even though a lot of people are fucked up, not everyone is, and there are people out there actively working to make a difference. </cliché>
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One Response to "Don’t let the blogs grind you down"
The single demarcation point between what is or is not Rape?
Consent.
IS there is a clear reason for some dispute?
Let’s be real here- sexual contact absent uncoerced witting consent is the boilerplate prime defining concept of rape.
All the other armchair deconstructionist kipple declaiming if a certain case is or is not rape? Let us consign such trash talking where it belongs.
To really change our world? Shift focus to our doing the best we can at healing the hurts.
Even were it possible to arrange a literal re-enactment of the crucifiction with the rapist as centerpiece,
would anyone be HEALED by causing pain? Perhaps some would argue that point. I’d concede that for some closure points my humble disposal of rapists does indeed have value if one is so wired.
Support for this trauma is a matter calling for delicate cosideration of what affects are going on. Mere nodding superficial “OhImSOSorry”
stuff even if it’s more sincere than superficial can be not what is needed. If you have never been in that place comprehension is likely not possible so saying how you understand their feelings dasn’t hold water.
Better still to apply yourself to BEING THERE for them. No matter how silly it sounds- that is the single most valued thing anyone can offer.
Oh BtW- Ignore this at extreme peril:
Weapons are a Very Bad Thing to introduce to the aftermath of an assault. Unless the person/s bearing arms are both competent and sane in the usage of them nothing good can come of their presence. THAT being one of the most tragically ignored “don’t do…” items in helping someone survive this.
The rest of the story?
I have been fated to put what of the pieces can be put back together one time too many for my remaining silent.
EVERY TIME SOMEONE JOKES ABOUT RAPE THEY STAIN THEMSELF BY ASSOCIATION.
Humor oft times being a cryptated defense mechanism sadly does not
excuse making trivialsing
dialoge about rape.
Capybyra
“Can you honestly say under threat of perjury you have never commented about rape in an unwise fashion?”