I posted this in a comment on Dacia’s site, and was pleased enough with my stroke of eloquence that I thought I’d share it here:
I know what you mean about feeling like a new choice, or decision, or perspective you have will validate all the assholes who’ve been sitting around quietly (or not so quietly) judging you. It has made me almost physically ill to imagine the nay-sayers with smug grins of satisfaction, saying, “I told you so, you dumb bitch!!” But, you know what? It doesn’t matter what you do or say, or whether anyone who’s an asshole turns out to be right about something at some point - they’re still assholes. Whereas you are doing something few people dare to do - examining what is right for you, and always allowing that definition to be, um, redefined. At a certain level, the fact that it’s sex work you’re talking about doesn’t matter; what really scares people is that you are determined to follow your own path and that ultimately, nothing they say or do is going to change that. That’s scary shit for a lot of people, because they wouldn’t dare to live that way themselves - it’s too raw, honest, open, and potentially painful. Better to stay insulated in a nice little comfortable den of passing judgement on others. And if something you say/do/decide ends up dovetailing with something the assholes have said, it’s nothing but a coincidence. The all-important difference between you and them is that you’ve arrived at Conclusion X because of you, not anyone else.
The only way it could’ve been better is if I had slipped in the old cliché, “Even a broken clock is right twice a day.”
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4 Responses to "Making sense"
nice rantage.
A- FUCKING-MEN!
Well said!
Admittedly, without having read the original post…
I feel very strongly that conclusions are only valuable once you’ve arrived there yourself. In my experience, people who have the solution ready-made-in-a-box for you are usually assholes or family. Either way, they’re wrong.
Regardless of what the topic or question may be, we all have to find the answers that are right for us. Cliché or not, life really is about the journey - the process. “Life is what happens in between.”
The boldest thing you can do in this world is ask questions. Sometimes you’re questioning people you love, sometimes people you hate, sometimes you’re questioning who you are and what you truly want. Either way, it takes courage to ask the questions and even more courage to change your mind.
Bravo for personal growth!
Damn, I wish I’d learned how to tell the world to go fuck off thirty years ago!