Just some stuff I’ve been thinking about lately, as I’ve felt kind of disconnected/off-balance over the last few days…
Trying to find the balance between not having perspective / not taking the time to smell the roses, see the silver lining, etc.; and allowing myself to acknowledge my true feelings and work toward something better… well, that’s something that’s always been very difficult for me. I know a lot of it stems from what my mom beat into my head from the time I was a little kid: “You’re so selfish” / “You’re too sensitive” / “You think you have it so bad, there are so many people who have it a lot worse” / “Stop feeling sorry for yourself” / and so on.
Those old lessons are hard to shake.
Look, I know I have it better than somebody working at McDonald’s, or picking oranges, or what-the-fuckever. I feel for people stuck in those jobs when it’s not what they would prefer to be doing, and I think we should find solutions to the economic conditions that allow people to remain mired in poverty. But, should “at least I’m not working at McDonald’s” be the only standard to which I hold myself? Is it “selfish” or assholish for me to try to better myself, for myself, and try to do whatever I can in my power to make my time here in this life as enjoyable as possible? Isn’t that what everyone wants to do? Does the fact that there are people struggling to get by on minimum wage negate my desire for personal (and economic) growth?
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