Speculative
There are some truly vile people traipsing around the internet (often hiding behind “anonymous” or other unidentifiable handles), and I am left in awe of some of the horrendous shit that they say. But it just goes to show, once again, that you can’t control other people. Especially when those other people are very clearly fucked. UP. As in, beyond-the-pale, springs-coming-out-of-their-heads, “what’s it like on your planet?” BATSHIT.
So, if it’s true (and it is) that you can’t control other people, and that some people are fucking crazy – what then? What to do?
Well, you ignore them if they’re obnoxious pissants, which most of them are. But what if (speculating here, as none of the particular people I have in mind fit this description) they have real power? Power to make decisions and do things that will affect your life in a very real way? What then? Resistance, yes, but… how?
I wish I had an answer.
Hmmm… I’m holding to the thought that (almost always) people only have the power you give them. Obviously there are certain examples that fit that a little less (e.g. a boss), but even then…
More later (flight leaves in 7 hours).
I’m about to Godwin myself here, but it’s entirely appropriate to make my point. Did Hitler only have the power the Jews gave him?
This is definitely something I think about myself…
[...] Clearly, someone has written something upsetting to Amber of Being Amber Rhea. While she divulges no names or specific misconduct, she seems to be venting about the kind of bad [...]
Amber, I responded to this post on my blog. You can check it out if you want.
Options For Dealing With Online Bullies
It’s just a couple of thoughts that came to mind, nothing profound. :)
I think that it is a big mistake to allow someone else to dictate to you what you can and cannot write/speak about.
I’ve read through the thread at witchy’s and I believe that Ren Ev allowed those people to power over her with their threats. I understand where she is coming from in that I know that if I had been threatened in that manner, my first thought would be to try to protect what I felt needed to be protected, however, what she doesn’t realize is that if someone is sick enough to go digging through your blog and then takes that further by searching out addresses and phone numbers and whatnot, they have already done what you are fearing–they have violated your personal privacy by taking it upon themselves to stalk and harass you. She should not now feel like she is safe, because someone like that will continue to dig and gather information JUST IN CASE. Some people have all the time in the world to sit behind a computer screen and attempt to exact revenge on perceived wrongs.
Making deals with the devil should not be an option. The moment the threat was made, those who felt threatened should have ignored the ring leader and disengaged. Refuse to make deals and do not respond because that is what people like that love. They love the attention and they love the power of feeling that they have stopped someone from feeling free to write what they want without fear of being outed. They then go back and are worse hypocrites and they write much worse things but they are gleeful that they have silenced at least one of you because that’s progress.
Learn the lesson that the things you put on the internet can and will come back to you and take precautions that the things you have out there aren’t things that can hurt you. If it’s too late to get rid of things you don’t want found, accept that information might surface from these lunatics and try to be ok with that because you are now powerless in that regard.
I would not allow them to silence me or hold me to a code of conduct that they do not hold themselves. Ever.
Delia,
Language such as “what she doesn’t realize” is very condescending. And it’s unfair and unrealistic for anyone to say “I wouldn’t ever do x y or z” if we haven’t been in that situation. Furthermore, saying she “allowed them power over her” sounds a bit too much like blaming the victim – and RenEv is certainly no victim (nor should she be blamed for this recent shittiness).
Amber,
I didn’t mean for my “what she doesn’t realize” line to sound condescending and so apologies all around for that. I was actually trying to be helpful and informative because I have had experience with stalkers. I have to tell you that I hesitate commenting anywhere because of this picking apart of writing. What I wrote was heartfelt and all that was taken away from it was that I was condescending and blaming the victim which was not my intention at all.
I cannot fathom all the different ways that all the different people reading this will interpret what I write and so I write from my heart thinking that will be enough and it is not. Please delete my comment as my intentions were not to insult anyone.
Delia,
Well, this is one of the limitations of the written medium – with blogging, it’s often hard to convey tone and intent. Often, clarification is needed. I interpreted your original comment in a way you didn’t mean it. You clarified. I don’t see that as ‘picking apart’ (in a negative sense), but rather as having discourse – which is one of the great things about blogging.
(And now again, we see, the CSS issue I have not fixed.)
well, from my experience, as long as you are consistent and open and honest in your behavior not many people (individual) people can do much to you without hurting themselves. However, if we are talking about groups of people, well that is another story which takes a lot of strength to hold back and I have no real answer there.