The whole FFF thing? It just goes to show why I can’t write a book. I’m way too sensitive, and I wouldn’t be able to handle people shitting all over me. And you know, legitimate criticisms or not, at a certain point when you’re the subject of all that shit, it becomes hard if not impossible to differentiate the legit stuff from the self-congratulatory ad hominem. And who has the time or energy for it, anyway? It would send me spiraling into a flare-up of depression. And then, at a certain point with this stuff, people start going, “Oh, why isn’t she addressing any of our concerns?? Why isn’t she answering??” Maybe because she’s fucking exhausted and can’t stand the constant barrage of what, eventually, all just sounds like “YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU SUCK” - and what could she do to redeem herself, anyway?
I’m just sorry that it all turned out this way. There are constructive conversations to be had about the book’s strengths and weaknesses, but their potential is being drowned out more and more every day.
ETA: I don’t care what anyone else says… this post almost made me cry. Let’s review again… I’m highly sensitive and I also have the sometimes-blessing, sometimes-curse of being very able to put myself in someone else’s shoes. And as I’ve explained, in this whole situation I feel like I can relate to Jessica to an extent, and at a certain point it just becomes, let’s remember she has feelings.
And yes, I get it, the people with the legit critiques have feelings too. Believe me, I get it. But this isn’t a pissing contest. It’s about piling on and just backing the fuck up for a minute.
This may get me skewered but I’m past caring. Actually, I almost didn’t post any of the stuff I wrote about FFF because I felt I didn’t have the words to accurately convey what I mean. I still feel that way, but I posted it anyway.
Jessica might not even like me IRL if we were ever to meet, but still, something about this is seriously twisting my gut in the wrong way.
READ ME: Disclaimer
8 Responses to "And another thing"
Amber-
I don’t know, it’s pretty much like what we all deal with on our blogs sometimes, just, well, more of it…
Yes, and that’s the crux right there. MORE OF IT. A lot more.
I can barely handle it when it reaches a certain point on my blog. If it were to get to the level of what Valenti’s experiencing now, I’d just want to crawl into a hole and hide for about 10 years.
I think blogging has brought all this to the forefront, in a way. If you wrote a book 15 years ago, you’d get some criticism (good and bad) from people who had the time and energy to put into getting it published in newspapers or professional journals, etc. Now there’s blogs, and anyone with a half baked opinion can publish it for free, without having to know People in order to get noticed. Therefore, anyone can sound like they know what they’re talking about, even if they’re just trying to be inflammatory.
That’s true, and I feel like I should also take this opportunity to say that fundamentally I think the breaking down of arbitrary barriers that reinforced the power hegemony are a GOOD thing. New media is overwhelmingly changing public discourse for the better. So my reaction to this is not to say “turn off the blogs!!” I’m just pointing out that, the truth of the matter is, I cannot take a constant influx of criticism. I just can’t.
Yeah, that’s why people are usually advised not to read the criticisms or engage the critics as the book is being released. you’re in an extremely vulnerable place because, for most authors, writing is hard and scary. everyday, you question yourself and your abilities, especially if you’re doing it for the first time. because you feel so vulnerable, you feel really dependent on the publishing people and your agent, all of whom tend to get caught up in a bubble or cacoon that wraps you up and proects you, where everyone feels certain all the right choices have been made. it’s like that with anything — the way we all felt recently when we launched the first of 12 new web sites. it takes you awhile to step back and be able to address criticisms of what yoj’ve created with any kind of objectivity. and a lot of authors never manage to do it.
i’ll be reviewing Dacia’s book btw!
Rootietoot, I don’t think FFF is the book you should be using to illustrate your point about blogs. FFF is a book that wouldn’t have been published in the first place 15 years ago. I have it on good authority that Jessica didn’t query a zillion agents with a proposal until one of them replied with something other than a form letter rejection. Instead, an agent sought her out, based on her blog’s visibility. It’s a book by a blogger, about blogs, propped by the blogosphere.
Amber, the attacks I’ve seen aren’t “Why isn’t she responding?”. Weeks before Anti-Essentialist Conundrum and The Silence of Our Friends discovered the book, there was a discussion thread on Feministing, where the critical side was led by Katie of Liberal Debutante and (I think) Ama Lee of Feminist Review. Jessica deleted Ama’s comment, and then closed the thread when her echo chamber couldn’t shout down the critics. She promised a dedicated thread within a week and never delivered.
The only time she or her friends deigned to discuss the book was when a large contingent of bloggers who have some influence in the echo chambers of Feministing and Feministe and Pandagon started to rip it. Even then, the responses were laconic and condescending. Jill wrote a post designed to inflame the Feministe echo chamber and took full advantage of the fact that both Ama and I wrote to a more general audience to portray us as insubstantial. Samhita tried getting as much mileage as possible out of her race, neglecting to note that the actual criticism in most cases is that FFF fails to tackle race well. Amanda, Lindsay, and Scott Lemieux all decided to lampoon straw-critics; Scott even did so right beneath a comment declaring that Jessica’s critics are just jealous of her looks.
Seal Press is new media savvy and they are known to seek out bloggers. That’s a good thing in my opinion.
Anyway, Alon - you know what, I don’t care anymore. She didn’t do that, she should’ve done this, she didn’t “deign” to do that. WHATEVER. At this point I am more concerned w/ having a little goddamn humanity. JV has always struck me as someone who has humanity, compassion, and a genuine concern for women. (Unlike quite a few other bloggers I can think of who claim as much, but their words and actions show otherwise.) I don’t read Feministing all that often - I visit the site maybe once a week - but it’s always been one of the best feminist blogs in my opinion. JV’s dedication and passion shows.
All my perceptions and mine alone, of course. But even if people don’t share those perceptions - how about a little humanity at this point. Jesus.
Oh and your thing about Samhita “making the most of her race?” Are you kidding me? That’s pretty damn offensive, especially coming from a white person. Just like questioning someone’s class background, for example.
And please do not use the term straw anything around me. I HATE that term.
[...] Look what I wrote a year ago. I’d like to go ahead and reiterate all the themes therein. [...]
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