Being Amber Rhea

Fri. 10:45 a.m. - Digital Exhibitionists or Chroniclers of their Time: Will Naked Bloggers Make History?

“There are a lot of things happening in our lives that we feel like we have to hide.” - Stacy Campbell

“I do all the stupid stuff everybody else did, but I write about it.” - Heather Barmore

First question for the panel: How honest can and should you be? What will be missing 100 years from now?

Kris was angry with herself for holding back and not being honest at the time in blogging about a relationship that later ended

“Keeping it honest has become more difficult as the readership grows.” - Stacy
This is the classic blogger conundrum. We all struggle with this. And yet it is never less of a struggle. And there isn’t one right answer.

So far everyone on the panel has been self-deprecating and saying no one will be reading their blog in 100 years. But the whole point is, people will! This stuff that might seem mundane or even whiny now is important. Chronicling real life (everyone’s unique experience) is hugely important. I’m reminded of what Josh was saying at BlogSavannah about finding letters written to family members during the Civil War, and how in many ways that offers us the most insight. (Still, though, a blog is different in some ways… but that’s another tangent. Knowing that there’s an audience - even a tiny one, or a potential one - does change things.)

AAG says she went online to be more private… LOL. She says she is still at times afraid of being judged. I can relate.

Somebody in the audience just said she threw away all her old diaries! Aaaaaagggghhh!!! Nooo!! Sacrilege! I cannot imagine throwing away something that personal and unique… even if you do regret things you wrote, or not want certain people to see it.

Audience member makes a good point about the power of women writing blogs is that we are in control of representing our own lives, rather than leaving it up to someone else to reconstruct the story of your life and maybe get things wrong or add their own judgment.

Next question for the panel: What makes you most uncomfortable? Family and friends reading it? Co-workers? Something else?

Heather almost got kicked out of her apartment because of something she wrote. (!!!)

I realize I am very, very lucky in the approach I take to blogging nowadays. I didn’t always take this approach - because I couldn’t (e.g. when I was looking for a job when I lived in Texas; a bunch of stuff w/ my marriage; etc). And to some people who don’t know me very well, they might think it looks very cavalier… but it’s not. It’s very much intentional and I am determined to be as open and honest as possible. Of course, “as possible” is the caveat there, and the definition is always changing.

Sarcastic Journalist is talking about how she got fired for her blog. She was a reporter and she was anonymous and she still got fired - just like Dooce. A few of her family members disowned her too. Anonymity is NOT the protection you might think it is. Don’t be naive. You’re never really anonymous.

I think that’s the biggest - HUGEST - difference between blogs and personal diaries. Even though, yes, people can and do find and read other people’s personal diaries, the whole world can’t find your personal diary on Google. It’s less of a risk. Certainly can be more of a liability if people find it bc you’re being more personal and not holding back, but that is valuable; but I don’t think blogs will ever be exactly the same.

Someone in the audience is talking about how she went to a conference and found herself apologetically telling people she “writes JUST a personal blog.” Right on!! I HATE that shit! I hate that perception of personal blogs (whatever that even means; I have a beef with that term, too, but I can write about that later) as somehow “less than” other types of blogs such as political blogs.

I think we should have a session at Sex 2.0 that’s like this except focused on writing about sexuality and your personal sex life and all that good stuff. (Btw I am having some… I don’t know… burned-out? feelings about Sex 2.0. But I’ll get to that another time.) I kind of hoped this would be more sexuality-focused, but then, the general personal stuff topic is fascinating and important, and sexuality is a part of that.

Audience member says, “Our personal honesty on our blogs is politically important.” I agree. The personal is political, indeed.

Someone else is speaking now who developed a plug-in for WordPress called Post Levels, which lets you control who sees certain posts. I may have to look into this.

Culture Kitchen woman is talking now. I don’t know her name but I know her blog! (I’m surrounded by the bloggerati, hell yeah.) She says, “As my blog kept rising and getting more and more readers, it started having less and less personal stuff. The blog started to have a life of its own.”

Now the conversation is turning to talking about how personal blogs are breaking stereotypes in very powerful ways. Someone asked Culture Kitchen woman “how dare you be one of the top Latina bloggers in the country and say you’re an atheist.” Heather talks about how people assumed she was white, and when they found out she was black they’d say, “You speak so eloquently” and shit. Stacy says not everyone who struggles with depression is completely batshit. AAG talks about how powerful it is that she can be not young and not thin and still be having great sex and letting everyone know about it.

ROCK ON!

Moderator says none of these personal records are complete (she’s a historian who deals w/ a lot of personal journals, letter, etc.). This self-censoring is not unique to blogging and we should not get too hung up on it, as in worrying about whether or not it’s “real.”

Another audience member is talking about how people say they didn’t realize she was a POC. She gets called “exotic.” She says, “Guess what, if you’re going to keep calling me ‘exotic,’ I’m going to keep talking about race!” Heather says she doesn’t talk about being black all the time because (gesturing toward Kris) “do you talk about being white all the time?”

AAG says it’s not courageous for her to write about sexual abuse. This is something someone did to her, it’s a reflection on the person who did it to her, not a reflection on what kind of person she is. She encourages everyone in the audience to write about it if it happened to you. Stacy says, “If it makes somebody uncomfortable, then maybe you need to write about it even more urgently.” I am mentally high-fiving her now.

Now a dude is talking about how he feels like people at some parenting blogs think he doesn’t have a right to talk about parenting. He says even though he gets a lot of crap, it’s worth it because he’s breaking the stereotype and showing that there are men who care actively about being parents.

Another audience member is now saying she feels like her blog has brought her closer to her family. This is interesting.

Another woman is talking about how her friends pressure her to write about certain things. Like, “Why didn’t you write about my engagement.” Heh. Start your own blog!

Session is almost over… I think there’s supposed to be some kind of prize drawing. AAG brought some amazing schwag, including dildos.