Sherry wrote about her son who won’t stop playing those goddamn video games. She mused:
This got me to thinking about online social networking. I have friends that I text message more than I speak to. I have friends who will only engage in email conversations because they are too ‘busy’ for lunch meetings. Are we allowing our lives online to affect the way we see the world?
I am still a proponent that social media and the way the Internet is evolving is capable of making the world much better in a variety of ways, but perhaps we need a parent reminding us to stay focused on our priorities and make sure we maintain some sort of balance.
And in the comments, I replied:
Eh, I don’t know. This is the kind of thing the alarmists, haters, and curmudgeons always use to try to show that technology is ruining the world. But you know, there’s a HUGE difference between planting yourself in front of a computer/video game/whatever for hours at a time such that you neglect your other responsibilities (e.g., homework, chores, family time), and integrating technology into your life in a responsible way as a means of supporting or growing offline relationships.
Her kid playing X-Box all day long really isn’t about technology at all - it’s about a kid trying to get out of doing the shit he’s supposed to do. If it weren’t a video game, it would be something else. That’s what kids do, and that’s why they need parents to teach them that dog won’t hunt.
Unfortunately there are adults who exhibit, ahem, attentuated growth. You hear stories about people whose spouses spend almost every waking hour playing World of Warcraft instead of keeping up their half of the relationship. Or “porn addiction,” for that matter. It could be anything, really.
I think that’s where a lot of people get confused; they put the focus on the wrong thing. The particular technology in any situation isn’t what’s cause for concern; it’s the behavior.
Adults don’t need parents to remind them of their priorities. Adults need to take responsibility for their own damn lives; and if they don’t, well, there are consequences. That’s the way it goes.
Frankly, people who are constantly too “busy” to have lunch once in a while are obnoxious. I don’t want to be friends with someone who’s always got a cellphone plugged to their ear. But I also don’t want to be friends with someone who doesn’t pay attention to our friendship because of any other stupid activity.
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7 Responses to "Diversions"
Agreed. It’s not the cellphone that’s the problem, it’s the person who always answers their phone when you’re out to dinner. Can’t it wait 30 minutes? I recently turned off the internet service on my phone because I felt like I was checking it too much. I was almost turning into that annoying person..
You’re so Southern sometimes.
Heh. I can’t hide who I am.
heh, good thing Mr.E’s WoW addiction and my porn/gears of war addictions insure we are wasting time TOGETHER!
But yeah, I didn’t have video games as a kid, and my parents were always yelling at me to put down the goddamn football and get in the house to clean my room. I blame them for not being the first female QB in the NFL, but really damn good at cleaning my room.
People like neat little excuses for human behavior, I am coming to think that is the real truth.
My thought process comes from what I experience when trying to help companies and individuals understand how to participate in social media or change. The first concern is that people will “waste time” on social media sites. In fact that is why most companies block such sites. And they have good reason to be concerned. I have worked with numerous people who waste time surfing the Internet before it was very social. The social aspect of it makes it more addicting and worse, in the case of my son’s “explanation” makes people feel like the have a responsibility to not let someone down. That is why we Crackberry addicts and people who are compelled answer the phone.
This is truly something we need to consider as a larger society, not just to tell people to act like grown ups or blast people when we don’t. I am not suggesting that we tell people how to live their lives either. But if there is first awareness of a problem, then an understanding of what may be causing a problem, then together we can either solve or avoid said problems.
In my business it is about helping organizations make employees accountable by setting goals and then treating them like grown-ups who can manage their time well, but then managing them if needed. Kinda like parenting….
Real quick comment bc I’m about to run out the door… will write more later…
But, Sherry, I just want to make it clear (in case it wasn’t) that this post wasn’t a rant against YOU. It was more a rant/reflection on a pattern I’ve observed and definitely not a personal attack of any kind. You rock!
Did not take it as a rant against me at all. As I progress through not just living online, but trying to get others to do the same, because I believe that the world, and especially our corporate world can improve by becoming more real and more connected, I have to be able to see things from many point of views. That actually has always been a blessing and a curse for me. So instead of ranting on the pattern that you and I both see…yes I see it lots, and it actually affects my income, which is my choice… I am at a stage where I have to figure out what the other view really means, where is it coming from, and where is it valid.
I also use my son as a measuring stick of what we are facing next (not exposing, just trying to understand the next generation.) The 3D web, in my mind, is VERY real based on how I watch my son interact. However, what does that mean bigger picture for everyone, not just those responsible to find that right balance and how do we help others, the masses to adapt.
I am not out to save everyone, but to at least give organizations smart enough to listen to me, and better yet, pay me, a fighting chance :-)
Herb gets annoyed with me for staying online so much when I’m home, so I got a laptop so I could be in the same room as him. :) I admit, I prefer to communicate with people through e-mail/blogs or IM (though I haven’t used any IM client in probably more than a year), OR in person. I really don’t like the phone much anymore.
I won’t let myself play video games, b/c I would probably waste tons of time. I think ppl can get too plugged in, bringing their video games with them everywhere they go. Some days I don’t get online at all, I need a break!
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