November 2007

Twitter updates for 2007-11-30

  • Wondering how much longer I can go without turning on the heater this winter. #
  • I wish I had some cookies. I shouldn’t have thrown out those "so-so" cookies from the Farmers Market. #
  • Well, I never got a straight answer on tipping (I did a blog post) so I guess I’ll just give the cleaning lady an extra $75 tomorrow. #
  • Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers in ATL on MySpace: http://urltea.com/28lk #
  • $775 later, I have my car back. :P I will have it for the PoleLaTeaz strip club outing tonight, at least. #
  • @geniodiabolico – And I know of more than a few in ATL. :) #
  • @geniodiabolico – YES. I am so sick of everything being in SF of NYC. There is more to the world than the hipster elite places!! #
  • Going to interview Dave Kaufman, author of Peachtree Creek, at 11:30. #
  • ATL peeps who want to promote the Day to End Violence AGainst Sex Workers, here’s your one-stop-shopping resource: http://urltea.com/28vl #
  • I hope @rustytanton is not getting sick. :( #
  • Eating cake for dinner, then going to try to catch a short nap before heading to the strip club hen party. #

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Nov 30 2007 11:59 pm | Category: Twitter tweets | Comments Off

links for 2007-11-30

Nov 30 2007 06:26 pm | Category: del.icio.us links | Comments Off

Twitter updates for 2007-11-29

  • Home after a successful planning meaning. Relaxing for a few minutes, then need to eat dinner, fold laundry & call AAA to tow my car. :P #
  • On the train to work. AAA towed my car this a.m. Hope the repair isn’t too pricey. :P #
  • guy on the train w/ loud-ass walky-talky phone needs to stfu. no one wants to hear your stupid convo about how you need money. #
  • @karsh – OMG. I am so ordering those cards. #
  • The female condom has been redesigned. I think Rusty and I need to do a follow-up podcast to our test from last year. #
  • Okay the car place called, apparently the "tensioner" melted. WTF is a tensioner? #
  • http://urltea.com/28ck – " This could lead to catastrophic failure of the engine." I’m glad I made it home Thursday! #
  • @jbrotherlove – OvernightPrints.com is good #
  • Afternoon of meetings and then another department party! (not our dept. this time!) #
  • Paying $hundreds for car repair today (air hose also horked). Rent due Saturday. Dec. 7 (next payday) can’t come soon enough. :( #
  • 5 minutes til mandatory fun #
  • more dec. 17 events taking shape around the country! http://urltea.com/28hp #

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Nov 29 2007 11:59 pm | Category: Twitter tweets | Comments Off

Self-censorship and people who think they know you

I feel the self-censorship coming on again… argh. That is part of the reason why I haven’t been writing as many “real” blog posts lately, and instead just posting announcements. Well, that, and being legitimately busy. But still… there have been some things I’ve wanted to write about that I’ve ended up not writing about, because of the anticipated reactions and drama. Seems like I go through this cycle every 6 months or so. :P

I almost didn’t even post the Tipping post, because I was expecting people to show up and tell me what a horrible bougie asshole I am, and isn’t it nice that I have the privilege of griping about not knowing when to tip, when the service industry people are busy thinking about things like how they’re going to pay rent this month (because, obviously, I would know nothing about such concerns, being a bougie asshole; and one blog post tells the story of my whole life; yadda yadda etc. blah bleh BLERGH).

So maybe I will write the other post that’s floating around in my head, or maybe not. Ah, I’ll probably write it, and then sometime around April or May I’ll be due to go through this song-and-dance one more time. :P

Nov 29 2007 11:13 pm | Category: Blog | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments »

links for 2007-11-29

Nov 29 2007 06:29 pm | Category: del.icio.us links | Comments Off

Tipping

I never know who to tip and who not to tip. Like this morning, when I called AAA and someone came and towed my car to the dealership (the repairs are going to cost me close to $800, btw… fun) – should I have tipped the tow truck driver? I don’t think I should, so I didn’t. But I don’t know. What’s the standard on that? And when Chem-Dry came out several months ago, should I have tipped that guy? I don’t remember if we did or not. I think maybe Rusty gave him $20. But is that the standard? The Boston Market catering guy seemed really happy to get a tip when he delivered the food for my birthday party. I assume tipping food people is always the standard, but maybe not for catering? Or maybe other people just stiff him a lot? I don’t know.

Before we hired our cleaning lady, I assumed I should tip her every time, just like how I tip the woman who cuts my hair every time. Then a bunch of people said no, don’t do that, instead give her a bunch of extra cash near the holidays. But then recently, someone else who uses a different cleaning service said he tips a few bucks every time, and the service’s web site made it sound like this was expected. And, since Christmas is near, should I leave extra money for our cleaning lady tomorrow, or wait until next time (two more weeks)? And how much should I leave?

This stuff is so confusing! I didn’t grow up rich, so we never hired people to do stuff (except yard work, but I don’t have any clue what the tipping is like on that, either), so I don’t know what the procedure is on any of it! Input, please!

Nov 29 2007 02:19 pm | Category: Blog | Tags: , , , | 12 Comments »

Twitter updates for 2007-11-28

  • ATL peeps: Dec. 17, 7pm @ Charis: Int’l Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers film screenings, discusison, & sex worker open mic. #
  • Posted Dec. 17 event on a bunch of sites. Need to do an actual blog post tomorrow bc my blog is looking like an announcements blog lately. #
  • Our new CTO is in the office today. I might have to meet with him. Fortunately I heard he’s a laid-back guy. #
  • Feeling stupid bc when I created a Facebook event last night I put the wrong date: TODAY. That didn’t make any sense, now did it. :P #
  • AAA lets you request "emergency road service" online. Um if it’s an emergency I doubt I’m sitting around w/ internet access. #
  • Yay, trying to schedule a podcast interview w/ Dave Kaufman, author of Peachtree Creek. #
  • @dcolanduno – Did I do a post about the internet in 97? #
  • Flickr images and some others are fux0red on our network again. #
  • About to head out to a meeting about Dec. 17 event at Charis! #

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Nov 28 2007 11:59 pm | Category: Twitter tweets | Comments Off

links for 2007-11-28

Nov 28 2007 06:23 pm | Category: del.icio.us links | Comments Off

Should I subject myself to this?

So, Robert Jensen has a new book out, called Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity. If you’ve been paying attention to this sort of thing, you already know my feelings about Mr. Jensen. But now, with the release of his book, plenty of people who call themselves progressive or liberal are falling all over themselves to praise him. And it makes me sick.

I don’t know if I want to read the book or not. On the one hand, I feel like I should, because of the “understand your enemies” thing (which is why I suffered through Female Chauvinist Pigs and Pornified), and also because I think if you talk about a book without having read it, you’re talking out of your ass (this was one of my main gripes about the Full Frontal Feminism fallout).

On the other hand, I don’t know how much head-desking I can take. I’ve read enough of his articles to know what Jensen’s M.O. is. And would a fisking of his book really accomplish anything? If it would, then I might be convinced to read it. But also, Chris Hall has already posted an excellent, thorough review at Sex In the Public Square. Here are a few key excerpts:

I can go on for hours and hours about what irredeemable psychic flotsam the great mass of porn is, and could probably fill several volumes thicker than Jensen’s on the mediocrity, body fascism, poor production values, labor abuses and sexism that dominate mainstream porn. These are all things that people of good conscience should find troubling about porn as it exists today. And yet, even as I calculate all the sins of pornography to the nth degree, and catalog the ways that I find it disappointing and trivial in taxonomies so detailed that the Library of Congress would have to invent a whole new indexing system, there’s something else: I think that in porn lies our salvation. For those of us who hate the ugly gordian knot of fear and loathing that our society ties our sexualities into, porn is essential. We need a genre of literature and art devoted to sexual arousal just as much as we need those that make us laugh, cry, or cringe in fear. And at the same time, we need to develop a critical language that we can use to think and speak about pornography. Without these things, we’ve resigned ourselves to remaining forever mute about our sexual desires.

[...]

By using this thin sliver of pornography to talk about the whole, Robert Jensen has eliminated alternative genders and sexualities entirely. He doesn’t have to wonder what it means to have a transgendered man like Buck Angel making a good living billing himself as a “man with a pussy.” Dykes who make porn for other women, like the Cyber-Dyke network, are not even acknowledged. There is not even a whisper of the thousands of web pages and videos and magazines that focus on women dominating men, or cock-and-ball torture, or any other of a million practices. These sexualities do not even exist in Robert Jensen’s cosmology; he has written them out of existence as neatly as a respectable family who resolutely doesn’t speak the name of the cousin living as a “confirmed bachelor.” But all of these identities and practices come with legal and social consequences. To simply discard so many lives in a book that claims to honestly explore the nature of desire in our society is not only intellectually dishonest, but hateful.

[...]

Robert Jensen’s passion is reserved for visualizing women’s sexual pain. Never once does he turn that passion the other direction to look at the possibilities for women’s sexual pleasure. There is not, in the end, so much difference between Jensen and the most misogynist, exploitative porn director; neither can imagine the sexual role of men as being anything other than to fuck, nor can they imagine women’s roles as being anything other than to be fucked. And that’s why, regardless of my doubts about mainstream porn, I can never, never imagine aligning myself with Jensen and his ilk. Because at the heart of his arguments, I see the same misogynist bullshit that I want to excise from pornography.

[...]

One of the things that keeps misogyny a thriving monster in our society is sexual shame and guilt. Violence against women and gays comes not from people who are comfortable being open about their desires, but by those who feel that their desires are somehow wrong. People have a limited capacity for accusing themselves. There are only so many times that a man will look at women and feel guilty about his lust before those thoughts whip around like a serpent devouring its tail. Then, the problem isn’t him. It’s that bitch in the short skirt, the whore who’s tempting him and who deserves whatever she gets. And then, we know the rest of the story. We’ve heard it too many times to forget. November 19 was the Transgender Day of Remembrance, and December 17 will be 5th Annual International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers precisely because we know how the story of people driven by sexual self-hatred turned inside-out ends.

So what do you think? Should I bother reading this book and posting a review?

Nov 28 2007 03:20 pm | Category: Blog | Tags: , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Twitter updates for 2007-11-27

  • About to head to pole dancing. Rusty has to tote me around until my car gets fixed. :\ #
  • at pole dancing studio early, eating swedish fish #
  • Researching something for a podcast of, potentially, actual citizen journalism. #
  • Feeling discouraged bc I didn’t do well in pole class last night. Trying to remember that everyone has their "off" nights. #
  • @driveafastercar – If it was that cop on Collier Rd., you should’ve flirted w/ him like a girl in my pole class w/ an expired tag did. #
  • People who are sick should *not* come in to work. You have a laptop and VPN access for a reason. Use it. #
  • If you haven’t heard of the Sex-Positive Journalism Awards, check ‘em out: http://urltea.com/27n2 #
  • @audaciaray – Can you use StatCounter, SiteMeter, or Google Analytics? Those are all good ones. #
  • What conservatives spend their time thinking about: http://urltea.com/27p0 #
  • Afternoon Starbucks, even though I was thinking I wouldn’t #

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Nov 27 2007 11:59 pm | Category: Twitter tweets | Comments Off
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