I never know who to tip and who not to tip. Like this morning, when I called AAA and someone came and towed my car to the dealership (the repairs are going to cost me close to $800, btw… fun) - should I have tipped the tow truck driver? I don’t think I should, so I didn’t. But I don’t know. What’s the standard on that? And when Chem-Dry came out several months ago, should I have tipped that guy? I don’t remember if we did or not. I think maybe Rusty gave him $20. But is that the standard? The Boston Market catering guy seemed really happy to get a tip when he delivered the food for my birthday party. I assume tipping food people is always the standard, but maybe not for catering? Or maybe other people just stiff him a lot? I don’t know.
Before we hired our cleaning lady, I assumed I should tip her every time, just like how I tip the woman who cuts my hair every time. Then a bunch of people said no, don’t do that, instead give her a bunch of extra cash near the holidays. But then recently, someone else who uses a different cleaning service said he tips a few bucks every time, and the service’s web site made it sound like this was expected. And, since Christmas is near, should I leave extra money for our cleaning lady tomorrow, or wait until next time (two more weeks)? And how much should I leave?
This stuff is so confusing! I didn’t grow up rich, so we never hired people to do stuff (except yard work, but I don’t have any clue what the tipping is like on that, either), so I don’t know what the procedure is on any of it! Input, please!
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12 Responses to "Tipping"
Try this site, though the suggested tips for pizza delivery drivers are WAY too low:
http://tipping.org/tips/us.html
And yes, you ARE supposed to tip food caterers. I never knew you were supposed to tip the tow truck driver though!
Here it says you should tip the cleaning person a week’s pay for the holidays:
http://tipping.org/tips/holiday.html
However, considering this site’s lowballing of pizza tips, I’d err on the side of caution and give her a few bucks every time. I’m sure it definitely lifts her spirits.
I don’t find myself in many situations where tipping could be expected (and since I’m UK, not US, the standards are different from those expected in the US anyway). However, where I have found myself in a situation where a tip might be expected, I prefer to go back to basics:
Was I happy with the service provided, and a job well done? Did the quality of service contribute to my more general satisfaction?
Maybe it’s not the social norm to think like that, but really, shouldn’t employers be paying proper wages to the people doing the job, so that a tip is a voluntary reward for exceptional personal service provided?
(NB I rarely find myself answering in the negative, so in practice I almost always do leave a tip)
Well, I don’t think you ARE supposed to tip the tow truck driver. But I don’t know for sure, so I was just throwing it out there.
Thanks for the links! Though the “week’s pay” thing is a little off because this cleaning lady comes every two weeks and works for a few hours. So I guess maybe I can just pay her double what I normally do?
SnowdropExplodes,
From things I’ve read in various places, it seems like the standards of tipping are very different in the UK and US. I remember reading something written by a UK blogger who, on her first trip to the US, was completely confounded by all the situations that call for tipping over here.
And I live here and am still trying to figure it out! ;)
Everything I’ve read says that you should give an extra payment to the cleaning lady right before the holidays. That is what I did last year–$75 for the actual visit, and another $75 with a holiday card. I’ll do the same this year even though she is making me nuts with not showing up on occasion.
The one I struggle with is my stylist (hairdresser). I guess I’m supposed to send him a tip equal to one visit? I pay him a lot, probably too much, to cut my hair but I guess I have to send him an extra too.
This shit gets expensive around the holidays.
As for the other people, I generally don’t tip them unless it’s a situation where I definitely think tipping is called for. I would not have tipped the tow truck driver or a carpet cleaner. I would have tipped anyone delivering food.
Yeah, that’s what I did today, I ended up leaving her a card w/ an extra $75 (well actually $80, since I couldn’t be bothered to break a twenty) in it. Hopefully she actually showed up to get it. :P
For the hairdresser I just tip every time, about 20% just like at a restaurant. I didn’t know you’re supposed to tip extra around the holidays. I think I have an appt. this Sunday… hmm. Also I went to high school w/ the girl who cuts my hair, and I always feel like stuff like that can be awkward w/ people who know each other. But maybe that’s my own personal hang-up! I have some *issues* about money, I know.
I tip all the obvious people: waitstaff, baristas, etc. The two times I’ve had to call tow trucks, I tried to offer them tips, but they insisted they weren’t allowed to take them (AAA both times, one in St. Louis and in San Diego). I tip the person who cuts my hair three to five bucks, depending on how decently they cut my hair and whether they kept me entertained (i.e., talked to me) while they cut it. I don’t have a stylist, but my mum’s good friends with hers and so she gets invited to all of mum’s parties and gets presents for the hols.
I would assume that you’d tip a regular cleaning service at least monthly, with a holiday bonus, but I could be wrong since I don’t have one. My dad used to give a bottle of good vodka to the guy who plowed our roads (he was one of our neighbors, since we lived too far out for city trucks to come around). I hear you’re supposed to tip movers too, but I’ve never used them and the one time a roommate has used them, I offered them drinks and snacks while they were at the house, and she tipped them on top of that. My landlord has guys who take care of the lawn, but I haven’t tipped them so far because I’m not sure whether he does, and anyway they’re never here when I’m home. I’m planning on leaving a gift certificate in the mailbox for our mail carrier, but that’s more because my dog freaked her out and I feel bad than anything else.
Basically I figure that anyone providing a physical service to me who will accept tips should probably get them, although type and amount vary depending on the kind of service offered.
when i was in catering, we *never* got tipped by customers, even around the holidays. IOW, if I actually went to someone’s house, tended bar, cooked, or cocktail waitressed, no one from the well-to-do (that is: millionaire) class in Ithaca, NY thought we should be tipped. No one from the upper middle class thought to tip either.
so, whether you should tip the boston market guy, I don’t know, but I can tell you that the wealthy and people like VPs of corporations don’t tip Boston Market delivery guys.
but it is weird eh? back when I had that big interview and was flown in and put up at the Hilton, I would have looked like a jerk were it not for an acquaintance who, advising about my suitcase situation, told me about tipping bell boys, the limo driver, porters, etc. Because these things have never been part of my life (or anyone else’s I’ve known), then it would never have occurred to me to tip. Being a waitress/bartender/ccook for nearly a decade, I’d only ever heard of tipping wait staff and tarbenders. They were tipped on the principle that they actually don’t make minimum wage at all. From that experience, I always assumed that anyone who doesn’t make below minimum wage isn’t expecting a tip.
Same thing with hairdressers who, as I understand, often rent their booths and pay for their supplies, etc. which means they often don’t make min. wage once expenses are accounted for.
anyway, i’m no help because of the blinders i’ve dealt with, but it really is something you have to learn from someone.
Exactly! That’s why it stresses me out so much. It seems so arbitrary, to me. I get why wait staff get tips… they’re paid below minimum wage. I get why food delivery people get tips… it’s an “extra” service to bring the food to your house. But I remember when I moved to Texas in 2003 and I bought a TV and had Best Buy deliver it, I didn’t tip those guys. I didn’t think I was supposed to; I figured those guys get paid relatively well, and plus, it honestly just did not occur to me. Later I heard that maybe I should have. But I’ve also heard that some people get insulted when you try to offer them a tip. So who the fuck knows.
And one site I read said when you leave a holiday tip for your cleaning person, if you leave cash put it in a card, otherwise they might be insulted. WTF?
At this point I don’t know if I’ll ever learn all the ins and outs correctly!
Oh and FWIW, when we were working 12-hour days, 7 days a week this time last year and the company was feeding us three meals a day, we ordered from Boston Market a lot and always tipped the delivery people! :)
Amber — yup. tipping, though it made the difference between dire poverty and struggling only slightly, is kind of a sore spot with me.
what i mean is, if employers actually paid their staff a living wage, who’d need freakin’ tipping? that might mean you’d pay more for a meal, but the tip thing can be a lot like the donuts fed to the maids in Ehrenreich’s book, Nickle and Dimed. the manager at that franchise and even some of the employees really saw the donuts as some sort of special perk 0- comparable to health care benefits or something. But what was clear was the the donuts could be rescinded during a recession whereas things like health care benefits can’t so easily — once they become an established part of the way an org does business.
it’s early and little sleep, so i’m not explaining myself. but i guess what annoys me is that it’s a way of “hiding” money so no one ever really thinks of the real cost of labor.
comparable — maybe. when we were deciding on a rental, we saw that it was cheaper to live 10 miles out. But when you factored in gas (not to mention time and stress from driving), it was about the same or even less to pay more rent and live in the city. the way people fill up — and use their car to do more than just commute to work — the “real” cost of living is obscured by having that cost stretched over two expenses: rent and gasoline.
i am making no sense I fear but it always annoys me in the restaurant biz how many managers depend on that low wage and the ability to compete with other businesses by keeping meal prices down — and then counting on a custom to fill in the rest.
“if employers actually paid their staff a living wage, who’d need freakin’ tipping?”
Well, I’ve been working for tips off and on for nearly six years now, and one reason that tipped positions appeal to many employees (me included) is the non-taxed cash you get to take home every night. I deliver pizzas, and I could easily become an assistant manager for $8-$9 an hour (a quasi living wage if you share housing and live on a tight budget), or even a general manager for $12-$15, but I’d have to pay taxes on 100% of that. Though I currently make less than minimum wage by the hour ($5.50), I only pay taxes on that $5.50 and the tips I receive on credit card slips (b/c they’re tracked through the computer). So, I’m still making more money than the managers.
The theory behind tipping is, yes, that the food costs are kept lower, and that wealthier customers will give larger tips, while lower-income customers can eat without having to tip at all. If waiters were paid $11 an hour, there would probably be fewer restaurants in business (due to higher cost of doing business — many restaurants are owned by mom/pop franchisees, financing their own shops), and/or the food would cost more, making the food inaccessible to poorer people, who may just have to stay home and eat rice and beans instead of going out to eat. IMO, pizza itself is too expensive for the poor! But food costs are outrageous now (due to, among other factors, gas/transportation costs and milk taxes).
I figured up what I take home (after taxes, etc) and I’m still bringing home $11 an hour. I was making $10.50 an hour pre-tax as a small-town journalist a year ago, bringing home roughly $300 a week after taxes. It wasn’t an entry-level job, and, I had to have a degree. One of our (shitty) perks was free food too — pizza on election days (late deadlines). On top of that, I had to take random drug screens there. So, I’ll take my tipped job instead. No drug screens b/c, well, we’d have no employees … plus, I get free pizza EVERY day there! :)
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