Nina Hartley speaks the truth here.*
And to me it seems like common sense. I honestly cannot wrap my brain around what is so fucking difficult about this concept for so many legions of people. Some basic concepts here… 1) Sex workers are people. 2) If you want to help someone, the best way to help them is to first ask them what they need.
How is this not the most obvious thing ever? But I guess if you never even get to point #1, that makes point #2 downright unattainable.
Nina nails it, but the comments on YouTube are depressing and enraging as hell. I didn’t want to look. I knew they’d be a vat of toxic stew. But as I was looking for the embed code, my eyes drifted down the page and… well, it made me want to cry.
There’s been a lot of bullshit in my life lately. And when I see that kind of shit, it just makes me feel awful, to realize (again) that this is what a lot of people think. Yeah, you can say the internet brings out the dregs of humanity, and sure, that’s true in some cases. But so many people of all walks of life have these horrible ideas about sex workers… it’s NORMAL to think these things. That doesn’t make it okay. But it means that most people I encounter on a daily basis are harboring these thoughts, and that bothers me to know end and certainly contributes to my general wariness and lack of trust around people I don’t know very well.
It’s also happened that people have seemed to agree with me to my face, and then later I find out the awful shit they were saying when I wasn’t there, about sex workers, the sex industry, etc. It really makes me want to sever ties (and in some cases I have).
Anyway. Also, what Ren said:
And that is going to lead us right here: What is the plan, anyway? You know, a lot of us are taking hits for saying “The sex industry? It’s not going anywhere, so let’s work for harm reduction and getting those who want out the help they need, and leave those who want in alone…” So yeah…what is the Amazing, Super Secret Plan to Rid the World of the Sex Industry? We’re dying (figuratively and literally) to know. In the mean time, what with all the talk of not allowing it to be normalized, without ever accepting it as work, without ever giving sex workers any sort of legal status and voice…well, women are being abused, raped, killed, dehumanized, and marginalized. So I ask, in the quest to end the sex industry, are you willing to sacrifice the women working in it here and now to reach that goal…if it is even attainable? That is a question I’d really like to have answered, yet I suspect, such an answer will never come. My answer to that is obvious. No. I’m not. Especially when “the Plan” is never revealed, hence my support of harm reduction, programs for those who want out, aid, workplace safety, and why yes, decriminalization.
* Via Bound, Not Gagged.
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3 Responses to "Really, what is so difficult about this?"
Indeed, the Internet gives people a safe and anonymous way to say what they *really* think, and it’s scary once you see how far the world has NOT come. As you know, I’m a former sex worker writing a book about the experience, and one thing that always depressed me was the tone of men’s opinions on message boards about prostitution, which they like to call their “hobby.”
“Bad for the cause and our great future one day world. Damn the sex workers in the here and now.”
I think that really puts it nicely. Lots of people excuse cruelty in the present because of some ‘Grand Narrative’ which tells them it’s going to work out for the best. No matter lives ruined or people marginalized right out of the ‘person’ category.
Ignore the present for the future if you want to dream of Heaven and live in Hell.
It’s sad when common sense - ask people what they actually need, if anything, before trying to help - it’s sad when this is Shocking Truth to people. Problem is people tend to see sex workers as automatically in need of all kinds of help.
This reminded me of Alan Moore a bit - Moore’s a damn fine writer, puts together comic books. One of his latest pieces, the Lost Girls, is pornography, and he’s trying to use it to show porn is A) not the Devil B) can have artistic value C) a necessary part of the human condition, as it relates to sexuality. In a seperate essay, Moore theorizes a society is only as innovative and vital as it allows the free expression of sexuality.
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