Comments on: I been sayin’ http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/ Making the baby Jesus cry since 2002. Fri, 29 Aug 2008 04:03:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: SnowdropExplodes http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19174 SnowdropExplodes Thu, 10 Apr 2008 18:36:53 +0000 http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19174 Thanks muchly for the linkage and boost to my self-image - sometimes I wonder if I really am talking (common) sense or not! I do like to be praised for a job well done, but that's just the same as saying "what a lovely meal that was", after an especially fine dinner - i.e. nothing special. But things like ironing a shirt or hanging the laundry, it's just a task that needs to be done adequately, and if you need to be praised just for that, there's something wrong (and if you're <i>keeping count</i> to make certain it's 50-50, then there's <i>still</i> something wrong - but maybe that's a thought for the future) Thanks muchly for the linkage and boost to my self-image - sometimes I wonder if I really am talking (common) sense or not!

I do like to be praised for a job well done, but that’s just the same as saying “what a lovely meal that was”, after an especially fine dinner - i.e. nothing special. But things like ironing a shirt or hanging the laundry, it’s just a task that needs to be done adequately, and if you need to be praised just for that, there’s something wrong (and if you’re keeping count to make certain it’s 50-50, then there’s still something wrong - but maybe that’s a thought for the future)

]]> By: Amber http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19142 Amber Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:44:10 +0000 http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19142 Oh, god, that "porn for women" book... yeah, you can imagine how that went over with me. Lead balloon? Check. And, looks like your Blogspot URL passes the spam filter! Yay! I just wish the guy who wrote Akismet With Whitelist would update it to work with newer versions of Wordpress. Oh, god, that “porn for women” book… yeah, you can imagine how that went over with me. Lead balloon? Check.

And, looks like your Blogspot URL passes the spam filter! Yay! I just wish the guy who wrote Akismet With Whitelist would update it to work with newer versions of Wordpress.

]]> By: figleaf http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19141 figleaf Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:30:49 +0000 http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19141 And speaking for myself it drives me crazy as well. Thing is that *if* I'm doing my share of the work I don't want to hear about it one way or the other -- no "good boys," no "well trained," no "pussy whipped," *nothing!* Because there's nothing more patronizing than being praised for doing the expected. You wanna know what *really* drives me crazy though? That damn "porn for women" series from the "Cambridge Women's Pornography Collective" or whatever they call themselves and that's because, in large part, out of all the partners I've ever had, all the roommates, all the prospective dates, as far as I know not one, ever, never, nowhere was the least bit turned on by men doing housework. (More to the point, that's a genuinely *crappy* reason to do housework!) Great post, Amber, figleaf p.s. I've switched to my backup url and email address to see if that unfoxes your spam filter. p.p.s. I'm *still* awesomely sorry I can't attend sex 2.0! Oh wow am I just sorry about that. And speaking for myself it drives me crazy as well. Thing is that *if* I’m doing my share of the work I don’t want to hear about it one way or the other — no “good boys,” no “well trained,” no “pussy whipped,” *nothing!* Because there’s nothing more patronizing than being praised for doing the expected.

You wanna know what *really* drives me crazy though? That damn “porn for women” series from the “Cambridge Women’s Pornography Collective” or whatever they call themselves and that’s because, in large part, out of all the partners I’ve ever had, all the roommates, all the prospective dates, as far as I know not one, ever, never, nowhere was the least bit turned on by men doing housework. (More to the point, that’s a genuinely *crappy* reason to do housework!)

Great post, Amber,

figleaf

p.s. I’ve switched to my backup url and email address to see if that unfoxes your spam filter.

p.p.s. I’m *still* awesomely sorry I can’t attend sex 2.0! Oh wow am I just sorry about that.

]]> By: Amber http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19135 Amber Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:04:08 +0000 http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19135 Tony, Well see I think it's worth questioning why so many people <em>don't</em> see it as common sense. That's part of the process. I absolutely stand by the assertion that poking fun at a man who does housework is totally non-productive and stupid. Seth, Yep! Tony,
Well see I think it’s worth questioning why so many people don’t see it as common sense. That’s part of the process.

I absolutely stand by the assertion that poking fun at a man who does housework is totally non-productive and stupid.

Seth,
Yep!

]]> By: Seth http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19134 Seth Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:00:14 +0000 http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19134 Speaking as someone who has been married for almost 9 years and living together for almost 13, it's a losing effort not to tag-team/split things 50-50. Which is not to say we both equally do *all* forms of housework, but if I'm doing dishes or cooking and she's doing laundry or vacuuming, things run much smoother. I'm just sayin' ;-) Speaking as someone who has been married for almost 9 years and living together for almost 13, it’s a losing effort not to tag-team/split things 50-50.

Which is not to say we both equally do *all* forms of housework, but if I’m doing dishes or cooking and she’s doing laundry or vacuuming, things run much smoother.

I’m just sayin’

;-)

]]> By: Tony http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19133 Tony Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:53:58 +0000 http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/04/08/i-been-sayin/#comment-19133 It seems to me that acknowledging someone behaving outside of traditional patriarchal gender roles is a good first step to eliminating said roles. Would it not be more productive to harness that acknowledgment and caress it into positive reinforcement rather than write the person off as being out-of-touch with regard to gender equality? I agree that poking fun or referring to a man who does housework as "well-trained" may seem counter-productive in the philosophical argument about gender roles, but I also think referring to this notion as common sense is a little ambitious. I wouldn't have even considered it until I read this post, not that that's saying much. It seems to me that acknowledging someone behaving outside of traditional patriarchal gender roles is a good first step to eliminating said roles. Would it not be more productive to harness that acknowledgment and caress it into positive reinforcement rather than write the person off as being out-of-touch with regard to gender equality?

I agree that poking fun or referring to a man who does housework as “well-trained” may seem counter-productive in the philosophical argument about gender roles, but I also think referring to this notion as common sense is a little ambitious. I wouldn’t have even considered it until I read this post, not that that’s saying much.

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