And you’re right. Nag vs speak up is another estrogen thing. Men do it to women (I’m so sorry to hear about the situation with your ex). And women do it to each other (like when I suggested to a woman who’d decided to abandon the term feminist why it might be helpful to retain it on her own terms — I was scolded for nagging, in so many words).

There should be a separate dictionary entitled “the word they’d use instead if it were a guy” so that we can translate backwards — eg: whine->complaint, nag->suggest, aggressive->assertive, frigid->hard to get.