He is, apparently, now a regular blogger at Feministe.
This is the first of two loosely-related posts about my thoughts on the current state of the feminist blogosphere - both in general terms, and wrt specific blogs/situations. In the past few months there have been more than a few things that have left a bad taste in my mouth, and I’ve been struggling to put my feelings into words (and also just plain did not have time for a while, as Sex 2.0 was looming on the horizon). Fortunately, Octogalore, Donna Darko, and Apostate have been kicking ass in that area.
But for now, back to Thomas at Feministe.
I don’t subscribe to the Feministe RSS feed, so I read it sporadically - most often when someone whose blog I do subscribe to links to a post there. So a few days ago I was skimming the front page of Feministe and noticing the byline “Thomas” an awful lot. I wondered why the hell a dude was suddenly the most prolific blogger on a feminist blog - and, as I read his posts, pretty much all of them made me squirm.
I mentioned before how I was thoroughly unpleased with his throwaway paragraph, peppered heavily with paternalism, about Deborah Jeane Palfrey. And then came this, which signaled the cue to end any feeling of obligation to “give him a chance” or whatever.
Super, super creepy post. The paternalism, the othering, the “white knight” feel of it all, the talk of jerking off to her hot writing and oh isn’t it awful that she was raped in the same paragraph… FAIL.
And then someone came along and thanked him for all the writing he’s been doing about sex workers! What?? So when a man posts about female sex workers on a feminist blog, it’s just the cat’s meow… never mind all the blogs of actual sex workers that are out there, and almost never linked by Feministe or other prominent feminist blogs! (Gotta keep that filter up, right? Us, them… never the twain shall meet?)
Would people be okay with a white person as the main blogger on an anti-racist site? I think not. So why is it okay in this case?
Update: This post has been sitting half-written in draft mode for almost two days, and in the meantime I commented on the Feministe thread and apparently that comment got more people talking, and Thomas has apologized and said he will think about the criticism. So, good. Here’s hoping he’s for real.
READ ME: Disclaimer
9 Responses to "Speaking of “That Guy”…"
NIce work. I had a similar reaction, as I said at Ren’s and in comments to the OP. I too appreciate his follow-up comment and hope it’s for real.
Great analysis here: “And then someone came along and thanked him for all the writing he’s been doing about sex workers! What?? So when a man posts about female sex workers on a feminist blog, it’s just the cat’s meow… never mind all the blogs of actual sex workers that are out there, and almost never linked by Feministe or other prominent feminist blogs! ”
But don’t you understand, Amber? It’s the script that plays out in board rooms, in family meetings, in union yards, in tech companies: “Nice suggestion, Mary. Now if one of the guys here would care to voice it, I will respond, we can implement, and maybe he’ll earn a well-deserved promotion. And all because of you, sweetie!”
Oh, but you wouldn’t expect that from a feminist blog? Um, yeah, me neither.
Amber, good work. I didn’t know what to make of it. I was just—whaaaaa? More than just “creepy”–also a sort of wallowing in it that I find downright offensive, too.
I’ve decided not to comment on Thomas’ threads at Feministe for now, till I feel better about his posts. Thanks for speaking up.
he’s gonna have to show some serious improvement before I give him the benefit of the doubt
Octo and Daisy,
Thanks.
Ren,
Same here.
Good post. When I was critical of his posts in passing, I actually wondered what actual sex workers would think about them and seeing all the positive comments to Thomas’ post made me think I was the only one — until y’all spoke up.
By the way, I see a picture of you in a white button down shirt with something red underneath standing by a pole. And bare legs. You have great legs!
I didn’t mention it in my comment on the Feministe thread you cite here, but as a sex worker blogger myself who has been familiar with CCG longer than Thomas, I don’t particularly appreciate the type of sex worker blog that turns the whole thing into a joke, which is what CCG does, in addition to writing erotica for her largely male audience, who leave trails of appreciative comments: Whoo-hoo! Good one!
Check out my blog sometime, http://www.emiliedice.com, which I’ve turned into a book-in-progress. While blogging at Wordpress.com, I got more than a few comments from angry male readers (most of whom wrote their own blogs about what a great time they were having as johns). They desperately need to believe that sex workers are also having the time of their lives sucking their cocks for money. That kind of sex worker blog (not to mention all the “sex-positive” “activist” bloggers) attracts the most loyalty. See? Everything is hunky dory in prostitution land! Just look at Belle De Jour!
I’m also irritated by this idea that sex work is “empowering.” I never for a moment confuse the high from fast cash with a feeling of “empowerment.”
Please do check out my story and lend your feminist insight. I’m a little tired of trying to bring around the regular sex blogger crowd, as my POV doesn’t fit with theirs. Maybe the feminists will understand better.
Emilie,
I’ve seen comments such as this all over the blogosphere:
And yet, in all the feminist blogs and/or sex worker blogs I read, I have never once seen anyone say “sex work is empowering.” I have seen individuals say that they find it (or some aspects of it) personally empowering. But never have I seen anyone claim that it is wholesale, across-the-board empowering as a profession. That’s ludicrous.
Am I talking about two different things if I use the word “empowering” by itself instead of personally empowering? I wasn’t aware of the difference, forgive me. In any case, I have seen it pop up on escort blogs, but maybe that has something to do with the kind of blogs I read (that being subjective and all).
Anyway, the last time I saw it was on Waking Vixen’s latest project, sexwork101.com: http://www.sexwork101.com/advantages-disadvantages-of-being-a-sex-worker/
Among the advantages of sex work they list “Personal Empowerment.”
To my mind, an individual saying she finds [X] personally empowering is very different from saying “[X] is empowering to women.” For example, I find pole dancing empowering. However I know that not everyone feels the way I do about it, so I would never say “pole dancing is empowering.” I would say pole dancing can be empowering, and that I find it empowering; but I would never make a blanket statement about the activity itself.
Leave a comment