Being Amber Rhea

Today I had a rather lengthy email exchange with Christopher Penn about sex work, economics, financial aid, and stereotypes. (Yes, all of those things together!) I was frantically typing away in multi-tasking mode while at work, and somehow my replies ended up being longer and smarter-sounding than I’d expected, so I figured I had blog material on my hands. (I did some minor editing to fix typos and such in the parts I wrote.) Hence:

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Christopher:

Hey Amber,

Hope all is well with you in Atlanta, and happy anniversary to you and Rusty! I have an offbeat question that I’m hoping you can point me towards a resource or two about.

I’m working on creating a set of stories of students doing very non-traditional things to pay for college, especially for students in the grey zone - too poor to afford sticker price, too well off to get any meaningful financial aid - and as a result take things on like become sex workers, if reluctantly.

I’d like to interview a couple of them for the podcast to get a better idea of where the financial aid system failed them. Not a pity party for the student, but a highlight of “here’s what can happen when you (the financial aid administrator) don’t do your job”.

Do you know anyone who would be a good candidate to speak with?

Thanks in advance!

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Me:

Hi Chris! Good to hear from you, and thanks for the anniversary well-wishes.

A few things:

So are you only interested in hearing from college students who became sex workers “reluctantly?” I assume so, since the angle of your podcast is about alternative paths people pursue when they don’t get financial aid. But, this is pretty troubling wrt sex work, because it reinforces lots of cultural stereotypes that exist about sex work. (e.g., nobody *really* chooses it, it’s something women do if they don’t have other options, all sex workers would do something else for a living if only they had the opportunity, it’s something to be pitied… on and on and on)

Secondly, there’s the stereotype about “non-traditional.” The fact of the matter is, *because* sex work is so stigmatized and not often talked about in a realistic, honest way, we really have no statistics on exactly how many people have done some form of sex work at some point in their life. Sex work is actually a fairly common way for college students to make money. It makes sense: they can make more money working fewer hours than they would at many other jobs; they can have a flexible schedule and work when it’s convenient for them; if they need to take time off during a particularly busy period (e.g., exams) it’s much easier to coordinate.

And many of these students are doing sex work *and* getting financial aid. Now, you are the financial aid expert, so you should correct me if I’m wrong here… but I don’t get the impression that a whole lot of people get financial aid to cover their college expenses 100%? I sure didn’t - and of course there’s also that whole thing about how much debt do you want to rack up? I worked during college in addition to taking out loans (and a few grants/scholarships, fortunately) because otherwise I just wouldn’t have been able to make ends meet (my parents aren’t wealthy and therefore couldn’t pay for my college education) - as a sex worker, a student can make more money and therefore start saving up to pay off those inevitable debts!

So, basically, yes there are people I could refer you to, but I’m concerned about the way their stories will be presented, and how the piece might simply rehash existing social scripts about sex work.

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Christopher:

Hey - good points. It’s definitely a story on why the financial aid system did NOT work for these students. I’m specifically not looking for people who actively choose sex work as a profession, because they are making a choice based on preference and not need. You’re right to say that sex work pays VERY well, especially here in Boston if you believe the going rates published on Craigslist. Assuming that someone well informed and happy to be doing sex work manages their business well, they could probably work one night and make the same income as a student on work study makes in a month.

That said - well, let me ask another way - ARE there students who are sex workers who do so because they felt it was their only option, and who, given a choice, would choose not to work in the field? Or is the field self-selecting enough that you only stay in it if you really enjoy the work itself? I don’t know - media sensationalism would indicate that there are at least some.

Financial aid can cover 100% of college cost, to be sure - but you will in many cases walk away with a debt load that is crushing.

Hmm. Okay, here’s a different question: where could I find accurate economic data for sex work, especially in the northeast? Is there such a creature? i.e. pay scales, average cost of health insurance for what I presume is a relatively high risk profession compared to slinging ventis at Sbux, etc.

Thanks - and I appreciate your help!

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Me:

Here is an excellent chart showing average rates for escorting in major cities around the country: http://sexec.com/Portals/0/SEXECIndexUSQ32007Chartv1.jpg

One rule of thumb is that if you look at the typical rate for a lawyer in a particular city, the typical rate for a (female) escort is about the same.

Here are some sites that are great resources all around:

http://sexwork101.com/
http://www.aim-med.org/
http://www.spreadmagazine.org/
http://boundnotgagged.com/
http://redlightdistrictchicago.com/ (excellent new podcast!)
http://sexworkersproject.org/

As for your question: “That said - well, let me ask another way - ARE there students who are sex workers who do so because they felt it was their only option, and who, given a choice, would choose not to work in the field?”

The short answer is yes. But that doesn’t give a clear enough picture. So the more accurate answer is, that’s not really the right question.

Think about how you phrased that question, and then substitute “waiting tables” or “telemarketing” or “tech support” in place of “sex work.” The question of “ARE there students who are waiting tables because they felt it was their only option, and who, given a choice, would choose not to work in the field?” sounds pretty silly, doesn’t it?

Obviously, in every field there are people who absolutely love what they do and those who absolutely hate what they do. I think most of us fall somewhere in the middle. And yet you don’t hear people lamenting over how oppressed the receptionist is because she comes to her dull job every day simply to collect a paycheck, and would much rather be doing something else. (I blogged about this a while ago: http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/01/24/explanations-on-demand/)

Note too that I am not speaking here about trafficking or any other kind of coercion. That is a different matter entirely and should not be conflated with voluntary sex work. [ETA: I know there are plenty of problems with the simplistic dichotomy of “coerced” and “voluntary” when it comes to sex work. There are issues of economic constraints, domestic violence, parenting, and a million other life circumstances that have to be taken into account in any discussion that attempts to cover all aspects of the sex industry. But since Chris and I were talking about college students, and specifically about college students who have some financial aid but not enough to cover all their expenses, I didn’t feel it was relevant to pontificate about all that.]

Also, note that the term “sex work” refers not just to prostitution, but a wide variety of jobs including stripping, porn, pro-domination, fetish work, nude modeling, phone sex operators, camgirls, and more.

Hope this helps!

Also do you mind if I blog this email exchange whenever we finish it? I feel like this is some good discussion!

—

Christoper:

Think about how you phrased that question, and then substitute “waiting tables” or “telemarketing” or “tech support” in place of “sex work.” The question of “ARE there students who are waiting tables because they felt it was their only option, and who, given a choice, would choose not to work in the field?” sounds pretty silly, doesn’t it?

It might sound silly, but at the same time, sex work (at least prostitution) is one of the few professions barred from legally operating, at least here in the Northeast. I know Nevada and a few other locales do permit it. Sex work - in this specific case, prostitution - is also one of the few illegal forms of work which pays relatively well, as far as I know, across a broad range of employees; contrast with Stephen Dubner’s analysis of drug dealing and his finding that the average crack dealer makes about $1.45 LESS than federal minimum wage. Are there any other fields that pay as well, especially for someone 18-22?

Comparing waiting tables, telemarketing, tech support, or admin work to sex work, at least on a financial basis, is not an apples to apples comparison for the purposes of finding out if a failure in the financial aid system has effectively steered students into making forays into the field that they might not have made otherwise. If waiting tables paid as well as sex work, I would say that would be a very valid comparison - and I’d imagine there would be many more people waiting tables. That said, I definitely acknowledge the point that there are an awful lot of people who work in jobs they hate in every profession.

Reading your blog post, there’s one other catch to sex work that makes it different from other professions, and that is that if you become a practitioner and then choose to work in a different field later on, I would imagine that at least some of the time, listing sex work on your resume would impede your options for employers, precisely due to stereotype and social stigma.

Listing waitress, admin, or telemarketer likely would not have the same impact, and therefore if sex work does impede your future career options, as a student, that would have significant ramifications about balancing the need to pay for college right now with high value cash sources, and future projected earnings (which in turn affect your ability to repay what you borrow). In ages past, that might not have been a big deal (or maybe it was) but in the age of Google, when much of your life’s history is a click away, and videos somehow always make it to the Internet, the choice of whether to enter the sex work field therefore is more difficult than waitress. Someone choosing to enter the field solely out of financial necessity would then indeed have cause for reluctance, as opposed to someone entering the field for the love of the work.

Am I making any sense?

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Me:

You are totally making sense, and in fact your points are a big part of the argument for decriminalization of prostitution advocated by sex workers’ rights organizations. Criminalization is exactly what causes many of the problems the general public associates with sex work. Stigmatization is a huge part of the picture too, and of course that takes longer to change; but in the meantime decriminalization is a stepping stone and should be done regardless of how long it takes societal perceptions to “catch up.”

There’s a discussion about the resume stuff and related stuff on my friend Octogalore’s blog currently: http://octogalore.blogspot.com/2008/05/sex-work-and-equity.html

Having to explain gaps on resumes is a major concern for sex workers who move on to other fields. Rather than accept that as just how things are, though, we should fight the cultural stereotypes surrounding sex work.

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Christopher:

Oh believe me, you’ll find no more staunch an advocate of decriminalization than me - legalize and tax, because we as a nation need the tax revenue, and as long as everyone involved has fully consented, it’s not a crime (to me).

I forgot to mention earlier yes, go ahead and blog this if you like. It’s an interesting discussion on economics!

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Me:

Wellllll hold up there with the “tax” part!

If you mean income tax, then sure, sex workers should pay income tax just like everyone else. And many do.

If you mean regulation? No, not so much. Here are a few good places that explain why:

http://www.freedomusa.org/coyotela/decrim.html
http://www.bayswan.org/defining.html
http://www.sexwork.com/coalition/derimvslegal.html
…and I also touched on it briefly here: http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/05/02/more-thoughts/

(I am all about the links today, aren’t I?)

And I know I haven’t given you any names of people to contact. To be totally honest, I don’t feel comfortable doing that. I hope you will understand. And, if you want to contact college students who are sex workers, there are plenty who have blogs that are not difficult to find - a good starting place is boundnotgagged.com.

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Christopher:

Tax: income tax. Sex work is work like any other form of work and should be assessed and levied the same. File the 1099 and that’s that. Now health insurance - I think it’d be realistic to expect sex workers to have higher premiums until a quantitative risk measurement system is in place - i.e. good statistics to say that workers in this region are likely to, over time, have X costs, etc.

No worries on naming names. Not surprisingly, Craigslist has been especially helpful in finding folks, especially in the local area - and also not surprisingly, not as many of the kids are as well informed or as well versed as you. More than a few, sadly, already live up to stereotype, which makes their contributions useful for attention getting, but not necessarily for serious debate about the financial aid system.

Thanks all the same, though. A good conversation is always welcome.

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Me:

Agreed on income tax.

Just one last thing - there is a misconception among the general public that sex workers have higher rates of STIs than non-sex workers. In fact, they have *lower* rates of STIs, specifically because they tend to use safer sex methods more consistently and correctly than the general population (eg, condoms for blowjobs, dental dams for cunnilingus, and other stuff that we all hear about in the safer sex pep talks but if we had to be honest, we don’t actually do most of the time). There actually *is* a study that talks about this but I can’t find it online. It was mentioned in a video made by SWOP which I have at home, so I’ll have to look that up.

I’m glad you’ve been able to find people via Craigslist. Unfortunately there will always be people in any group who fit a stereotype… I hope that doesn’t discourage you. And keep in mind that if you are contacting workers via their CL ads, some might not reply since you are not a client emailing for an appointment.

And thanks again for the good conversation! If all conversations I had w/ people about sex work were like this, I would not get as discouraged as I do sometimes.

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Christopher:

It’s funny, browsing a lot of the ads on Craigslist has made me realize how many people, even professionals, are terrible at marketing themselves. I have to wonder if anyone has ever done a marketing course specifically for sex workers - how to write a good sales letter, how to do direct marketing, etc. One of the students who responded to my query is a student at UMass Lowell, studying - of all things - marketing, and her ad was atrociously bad. Assuming most of these folk are good at what they do, I can’t help but think with the right mix of sales and marketing (the other S&M!) they could be booked solid and at prices that would make the average non-millionaire ill.

But I digress. I’m off to see if there’s any research about what percentage of college students do pursue sex work while enrolled in school. At the Sexec pricing chart, a student would have to work pretty much one year to pay for four - and very few other professions could say that, except maybe day trader on the stock market…

Thanks again!

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Me:

Yeah, actually there have been marketing courses for sex workers. That sort of thing has been part of the Desiree Alliance conference for the past two years, and various organizations around the country such as SWOP and SWANK hold programs in various cities.

One thing to keep in mind is that Craigslist isn’t really the ideal place for an escort to market (especially now that cops are trolling CL). It’s often a place for escorts who are just starting out, working part-time, or aren’t very savvy about the business. Successful escorts will have their own web sites and/or place ads on specialized sites such as Eros Guide.

Also from a social media and marketing perspective, you might be interested in Amanda Brooks’ book, The Internet Escort’s Handbook. Actually it’s a series; she’s currently working on book 2. She has a web site and blog to accompany the book: http://www.theinternetescortshandbook.com/

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Whew! There you have it!

One last note: I’ve heard it said that analogy is the weakest form of argument, but personally I find it very helpful. Analogies make it easier for me to understand things a lot of the time; and also when I’m talking with someone and trying to get them to understand my point, analogies can be very effective. They are a key component of “meeting people where they are,” which admittedly is something I’m usually too impatient for (Jenny excels at it). But to truly help people understand a cause, issue, or point of view, I think it’s essential.

My only request - and requirement - is that people take that initial first step of being open to hearing what I have to say.

Now with regard to the above email exchange in particular, yeah, like I said, my responses did come out better than I’d expected given my busy-ness today; but if there’s anything that was unclear or that you want to ask me about (or correct me on, if you’re, ya know, an actual sex worker and not just talking out of your ass like I sometimes feel like I am) please leave a comment.