I cannot even tell you how much I relate to this post.
This part, in particular, struck a chord with me:
I’m pretty sure I have no real concept of the scale of the sexism I’ve experienced in my life. Women are, let’s face it, used to being victims of sexism - we rationalise it away, shrug it off, don’t dwell on it. Which is all very well for short-term personal happiness, but not for revolutionising society. We go out of our way to avoid sexism, which is often self-defeating when our long-practised skills at avoiding abuse result in a lack of convincing examples to persuade anyone that there is, in fact, a problem.
Writing down all the various instances of sexism I experience on a daily or near-daily basis is something that I’ve thought about before. But I’ve never done it, because I think it would end up being too depressing/infuriating to me. I know I tend to internalize my anger, so that would end up being toxic to me. But the flip side is, it just means there are more ignorant men still out there. And of course the flip side of that is, it is so not my job to educate men - they need to do their own homework.
And this comment…
This post is enlightening. I’d not actually realized these things actually happened, and on such a regular basis. Not you’re not overreacting, those are all squicky and nasty things to happen and make me shudder. Presumably because I’m male, I guess, they don’t happen to me, so I don’t see them. And I really can’t fathom the mindset of any man who would behave like that. I should just learn to appreciate how lucky I am that these things don’t happen to me, I guess.
(And immediately after that one, there’s a comment where some pleased-with-himself dude shows up to tell her other [more important?] reasons why accepting random Bluetooth messages is “a bad idea” - namely viruses, which I guess she never thought of because she’s a girl, or maybe because it’s totally irrelevant to the topic of the post, but I digress…)
I mean I’m glad there are men who are actually willing to listen and learn. (Isn’t it sad that I’m glad about that? I mean, that should really be the default, expected behavior. Ugh…) But I always feel like rolling my eyes when I see comments like that. I got one on Twitter today when I posted the link, from some dude who follows me but I don’t follow him and I have no idea who he is… he said he was appalled. Well, yes, of course he is - because he doesn’t have to deal with this shit. Whenever women explain the (unfortunately) mundane details of day-to-day sexism to men, they are always shocked, shocked!, I tell you. (Well, assuming they’re not calling us lying over-sensitive feminazi bitches, of course.)
My reaction to that can best be represented by this emoticon: :|
Well, yes, that is the definition of privilege: the luxury of ignorance. Not having to know something happens, because it doesn’t affect you. And the first step in pulling one’s head out of one’s ass, of course, is acknowledging the rather simple fact that just because it doesn’t happen to you, doesn’t mean it never happens.
“Someone give me a penis so that I don’t sound like a Feminazi.” - Sassywho
READ ME: Disclaimer
3 Responses to "Yes, yes, yes, and more yes"
[...] Ugh. I especially hated it when men would come up to me in bars, put their arm around my shoulder and tell me to smile. I think this is where I learned my “Don’t Fuck With Me” look, which came in pretty handy when I used to ride MARTA at night. But I put up with it at work, from the deputies, because being friends with the guards at the courthouse is worth its weight in gold. h/t Amber. [...]
[...] …of the kind of stuff mentioned here. [...]
[...] reaction, again, can be summed up with this emoticon: [...]
Leave a comment