Comments on: What’s kinky?

By: Gadfly

Gadfly — Sat, 24 May 2008 05:30:05 +0000

Meh … ever since I met you, I thought you were delightfully nerdy smart, as well as twisted; coupled with spankably cute …

But then again, my kinks are common knowledge. *laughing*

By: Sakura Sarashi

Sakura Sarashi — Sat, 24 May 2008 04:41:15 +0000

Personally, I think kink is something that is sexually stimulating that may be outside of the “norm”. I guess I usually use it to talk about BDSM related stuff.

By: What is Kink: A reply to Amber’s question

What is Kink: A reply to Amber’s question — Thu, 22 May 2008 03:57:22 +0000

[...] is my reply to a question posed by Amber Rhea on her blog BeingAmberRhea.com. She posed an interested question to her readers [...]

By: Alyssa

Alyssa — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:53:01 +0000

I agree that kink is almost purely subjective. When someone says “Oh, that’s kinky!” they mean it’s something (sexual) that they wouldn’t normally do, that they think most people don’t normally do. But the idea of normal changes from person to person, so it depends heavily on who’s doing the defining.

I think when we call ourselves kinky, we’re saying that what we do sexually is special or different from “mainstream” sex in some way. It’s easy to identify as kinky if you participate in BDSM or furry sex or other things that are often linked with the word in pop culture, but I think lots of other people apply it, too. It’s like saying “Yeah, I’m sexually adventurous and it rocks!”

By: Russ

Russ — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:46:59 +0000

Kink is whatever blows my mind.

By: Sara

Sara — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:57:52 +0000

Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s much on the list of things my mother wouldn’t do! So, I couldn’t use that definition.

By: Rootietoot

Rootietoot — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:06:23 +0000

Kinky is anything my mother wouldn’t do.

By: SnowdropExplodes

SnowdropExplodes — Wed, 21 May 2008 07:15:42 +0000

I tend to think of “kink” in terms of social/personal/sexual things (as opposed to the physical term for what you get in a wire or rope) as being almost equivalent to “quirk”.

To be “kinky” is simply to have (several) quirks to one’s sexuality.

That kind of leads to the idea that everyone is kinky in one way or another, since everyone has their own quirks to their personality and surely consequently, to their sexual nature as well!

So I think the term “kinky” tends to get used for things that are obviously quirky, rather than just the things that individuals do that make them individual.

I sometimes think in terms of statistics, and the “Normal Distribution”, which is definied by a (mean) average, and a “standard deviation” - kinky is the areas “beyond the standard deviation”!

By: figleaf

figleaf — Wed, 21 May 2008 06:09:37 +0000

Ren’s definition is fun: “kinky- things some people do that squick other people out” Not least because most people are actually squicked by the kind of lights-out/man-on-top/hole-in-the-sheet/reproduction-only/only-till-he-ejaculates kind of sex that’s supposed to be the paragon of “normal” sex. Or at least the stereotype of it. Even though at this point only a very small fraction of the U.S. population practices anything like it.

Anyway, continuing my not-always-welcome passion for rhetorical I think “kink” means only what turns us on while squicking us out! Everything else from ATM to fur-suiting is “normal” because it is (or ought to be, dammit) normal for adults to do whatever floats their boats with other enthusiastic adults without anyone else “othering” it with judgmental labels.

Me, I really like “missionary” too — hey, Victorians invented it too!

figleaf

By: Amber

Amber — Wed, 21 May 2008 02:39:07 +0000

One manâ€™s bukake is another womanâ€™s shibari.

OMG. That is so going in my header quotes.