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“how do you construct a good sexuality, whatever it might be (and as I’ve said a quintillion times, I don’t think porn is perfect), if your base assumption is that fucking is inherently disrespectful?”
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“In a world of violence, where people are tortured, murdered and raped how can we possibly look upon sex as an act that is so disturbing it deserves this kind of punishment? This is beyond a skewing of values.”
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“I mean, they’d write off my ability to render meaningful consent, then go ahead and violate it themselves anyway…for the cause and all.”
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Or, thanks for stating the obvious. Clearly the effects of parenting are going to vary on a case by case basis – some people will love it, some will hate it, some will fall somewhere in the middle. What else is new.
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“Honesty is prized among sex workers. Knowing that I am being genuine and really getting off is important to my clients as well as to me. But there have been times when a white lie was appropriate.” Ellie’s first Naughty American article!
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“Star Light never encourages a woman to leave the industry. By encouraging a woman to get out, we are judging the work that she does, and therefore judging her.”
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“The right wing-backed human trafficking movement, part of the ‘anti-prostitution industrial complex,’ deliberately blurs the line between sex work and sex slavery to further its moralistic agenda and line its pockets…”
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“I keep putting ’saved’ in quotation marks because the second set of questions I think this article raises is about what these young people really need.”
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“It’s not likely that Abby Winters would say it is not a ‘real business’ so why paint the work this way?”
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“These ideas will help you understand how not to be an arsehole when you’re in a feminist space. The short version is, if you’re looking for credit, or to get laid, feminists will not have much time for you, and that will be made abundantly clear.”
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“I understand what the social constructs are, I just don’t understand why as a nation we still buy into them. When people try to explain it to me it feels like they are holding a sheer curtain in front of the argument and as hard as I try I can’t help but see straight through it.”
Jun 30 2008 07:40 pm | Category:
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There are few people inhabiting certain corners of the blogosphere in which I move who (whom?) I find to be bullies and/or “queen bee” types. To name names would certainly bring the Wrath of the Goddesses upon my head – so I’ll be willfully obtuse and arguably passive-aggressive instead. But eventually my annoyance might boil over; so consider this a forewarning.
Also, tag links aren’t working now that I’ve upgraded to WordPress 2.5.1. Boooo.
ETA: Bumped up from comments:
I realize this post was not very fair of me. *shrug* I’ve just been feeling annoyed, and I guess I felt some compulsion to put some evidence of my annoyance “out there” – even if in a way that raises questions (and eyebrows) and puts people on the defensive.
So yeah, like I said, not very fair of me. And yet I felt like I “needed” to do it. Sometimes I can be weird. :P
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Jun 29 2008 11:59 pm | Category:
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“Guys – please don’t follow lone women drivers (especially when they try and shake you off by going round and round a roundabout) just because they’ve overtaken you and you’re cross.” Sad that this even has to be said. *sigh*
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“It really is nice having your culture be the laughing stock of the nation.” More on anti-South regional bias. Need to blog on this again.
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“Any person exhibiting pornography, even if it is free, is beholden to 2257, this includes SPC, and those who run this seminar.” An important call to action from Ren.
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“That’s one thing that really fucks me off about anti-porn – they’ll take a pornographic image and say, ‘Ah, pornography – ’tis wrong’ pointing at an image of a woman who does actually exist outside of the image the anti-porn lot (YES the anti-porn lot) are objectifying her in.”
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“One is in her mid forties and the other early fifties. They don’t even know that it’s controversial among younger women to be feminists. They’re not making a statement when they say they’re feminists – it’s as simple a statement as saying they’re women.”
Jun 29 2008 07:35 pm | Category:
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Regarding this, here is what I sent to whoever receives the messages from Stop Porn Culture’s contact form:
Dear SPC,
As a feminist and social justice activist, I have serious concerns about your slideshow, “Who Wants To Be A Porn Star?”
I am sure you are familiar with 2257 regulations, the set of guidelines for enforcing record-keeping laws by primary and secondary producers of sexually explicit material. (Full regulations here.) The law specifies that producers must obtain and keep on file proof of age for every model appearing in their productions, to ensure that no minors appear in sexually explicit films or photographs. Web sites containing sexually explicit material include a statement of compliance with 2257 regulations, and who to contact for verification of their records.
I am deeply troubled by the fact that I find no such statement on the Stop Porn Culture! web site. Where is the assurance that the women in the slideshow are of age? And beyond the legal implications, there are also the larger ethical considerations. SPC claims to oppose the objectification and exploitation of women. Yet, were the performers in the slideshow contacted and asked whether they consent to have their images used in the slideshow? If not, then SPC is guilty of exploiting these women’s images for SPC’s own gain. It is dehumanizing to simply use an image of a woman in porn as a poster child for a cause. SPC, of all places, should understand that these are actual women who exist and have lives outside of the images on the screen. Does their voice not matter? Is it more important to make a point, even if it means denying the agency of the very women SPC dubiously claims to want to help?
I find this extremely problematic.
- Amber Rhea
I would have said more (I certainly wanted to!) but I felt I should keep it short so they’d be less likely to just pass over it completely.
I urge everyone to contact SPC and express your concerns about their flagrant hypocrisy.
Jun 29 2008 05:25 pm | Category:
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From Apostate:
Back to my bosses… there’s something in their voices, a quality of how they speak when they are issuing orders, disagreeing, taking an antagonistic position. I believe it’s what people call “strident” when it’s coming from women and “authoritative” when it comes from men. And I’m serious: it gets me fucking hot.
I actually get a high surrounded by these strong women. What’s the smiles of men approving of my tits compared to the knowledge that kick-ass, strong as hell women have my back?
They don’t give an inch. They win arguments. They carry their points. They aren’t afraid of retorting sharply to the condescension of a man. They’re bitches. And you bet, they’re seen as such by most of the people they deal with, but damned if they care.
I’m learning. My voice has always, at times, acquired that strident quality but only if the situation was right. I still keep it consciously out of my voice very often because I have more superiors than juniors (as an aside, gaining worldly status – professional, ideally – is absolutely necessary to achieving full bitch status). But the bitch inside me is not very well-hidden. When I recently tried to tell one of my bosses that I was “easy-going” she gave me a funny look and then said, “Yeah, I get that a lot too,” and then we both burst out laughing.
I’ve noticed. You get old enough, you’re a woman – an intelligent woman – for long enough, and you become a bitch. There is no way around, unless people’s attitudes regarding powerful women change. Your voice and manner become strident acquire authority. People may not like you, but you get shit done, people do as you say and yes, you get respect.
Women like this inspire the hell out of me, too. I’m reminded of what my (awesome, female) lead business professor said in grad school, to my project group, which was made up of all women:
“A stern man is a stern man. A stern woman is a bitch.”
And I think most of us knew it by then, anyway – seriously, you learn it pretty early and it gets beaten into your head repeatedly – but coming from her, there was something inspiring about the way she said it. Yes, that double standard SUCKS and we have to continually fight to change it; in the meantime, though, I’ll happily be the ball-buster, the cunt, the bitch, whatever else, and anyone who has a problem with it can attempt to blow it out their tightly-clamped ass. It sure beats the alternative.
I’m also reminded of something Sassywho wrote a while ago. Her blog has since gone invitation-only, but I have a quote of it saved in an old post:
I am the Cunt who challenged your ideas in a meeting, and it even turns out I was right. I am the Whore who has slept with more men than your quota for a woman who deserves your respect, even if it is less than your number. I am the Fucking Slut who responds to your verbal abuse while I am bartending by making you wear that beer you just ordered.
I am the Bitch who wants equality in a relationship and refuses to be your mother. I am the Ballbuster who isn’t intimidated by your masculinity. I am the Wife that was not okay with your 15+ affairs, so I had an affair myself before I left. I am the Fucking Bitch who filed a restraining order on your ass and prosecuted you to the fullest extent of the law when you tried to intimidate me and my friends with harassment to keep me in the relationship. I am a Misogynist’s worst nightmare.
YES.
Dear “that guy” at the sex club last night,
Let’s get right to it. First of all, if you see my boyfriend and I getting our things out of our locker and getting dressed, you make yourself look stupid by coming up and saying, “So, you gettin’ ready to leave?” Thanks, Captain Obvious! However, I could’ve toned down my internal snark and forgiven that awkward attempt at small talk (lord knows I’m no master of it myself) if it weren’t for where you went next.
“I been seein’ her all night. Just wanted to touch her once.”
HELLO. If there ever was the remote possibility that I might have a smidgen of interest in your dumb ass? You just shattered it by speaking to Rusty, about me, AS IF I’M NOT THERE!! If you want to “touch [me] just once” so badly, it would behoove you address me directly, since I am, amazingly, a fully-functioning adult capable of speaking for myself.
Further, I mentally kicked myself the second after the response (see, I can talk!) left my mouth: “Sorry, no.”
Ah, there’s that lovely social conditioning as a woman again. Sorry? I most certainly was NOT sorry. If only I’d had the presence of mind to say, while you were still standing there, the biting things I said a few seconds after you’d skulked away. I would’ve said, “No. And let me give you a word of advice, hon” – and thence recited the third paragraph above.
This is not the first time this has happened, either. What is it with creepy guys at sex clubs, speaking about rather than to a woman who is right in front of them?? Surely you weren’t suggesting that, basically, Rusty is my owner, and thereby grants or retracts consent on my behalf. Surely not.
It was couples-only night, so you must’ve come with a lady friend. I hope for her sake that she’s the Patron Saint of Perpetual Patience.
Wishing you a clue,
Amber
This is what needs to be stopped.
Call to action, please redistribute widely.
The Stop Porn Culture Slide Show Training Program includes a script, tips for conducting the session; it also includes the power Point Visual presentation, which contains pornographic material. They are saying that this slide show falls under the preview of Fair Use.
However, as it can now be watched, downloaded, viewed, reproduced, and yes, even sold, the creators of Stop Porn Culture, or anyone and everyone else who wishes to showcase, distribute, or otherwise use the material in the slide show is in violation of Federal Law 2257.
Never mind that not a one of the performers featured in this “educational tool” were asked their opinions, or for their consent, nor were the companies that originally produced the images… but now see, there are questions of a Federal Law which applies to Pornographers, and as these people have essentially made themselves such, the law also applies to them. Any person exhibiting pornography, even if it is free, is beholden to 2257, this includes SPC, and those who run this seminar. You will note, at the end of the presentation, there is a claim of copyright over images already subject to copyright, and used without permission.
You will also note, their attempts to keep this material out of the hands of minors are scant at best.
I encourage everyone to write a letter of protest the organizers of the SPC Training Program, inform anyone and everyone you know who is pondering doing one of these sessions of the lack of 2257 compliance and lack of consent on the part of the performers and owners of the images, and if necessary, alert legal authorities to the use of this slideshow where ever it may occur.
Oh, and I am curious, are people CARDED before attending one of these events? Viewing the slideshow on line? If not, then anyone and everyone involved in this program is guilty of showing pornography to minors… oddly enough, John Stagliano is in court for such things” do the same laws not apply?
Enough. If Pornographers must comply with 2257, so must their adversaries.
[Re-posted from Renegade Evolution. Please spread the word! I'll be writing my letter today; what about you? It should take only a few minutes.]
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Jun 28 2008 11:59 pm | Category:
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