I figured it was as good a time as any to publicly state that I am not okay w/ the way Anthony and IACB handle themselves in a lot of these feminist blogosphere discussions. I’ve called them out and challenged them (as I would challenge anyone I disagree with or who is being inappropriate) many times, but ya know since a lot of folks seem to have a problem with differentiating individuals from the Bloggy Borg, I’m just putting it out there unequivocally.
Anthony and IACB, your comments are still welcome here if you choose to comment (not that you’re pining for my gracious extension of courtesy, but whatever) but in many, many cases I think you have come off as condescending, rude, patronizing, and engaging in a lot of verbal chest-thumping and lack of checking your privilege.
So there you go.
Ah nothing to get back into the swing of things like blog drama, right? Fuck, I was supposed to be writing about PERSONAL stuff. -On the other hand, it’s all personal. The personal is political is personal is sexual is ME.
READ ME: Disclaimer
4 Responses to "Just in case anyone comes over here from that other thread…"
You know what, Amber??
I do respect you for what you do and what you say, and I can acknowledge that I can be a bit on the confrontational side when it comes with dealing with those other folk.
But with all love and respect, I’m not really caring that much anymore about what even friends and allies think about my opinions…I am that fed up to here with always getting ripped for defending myself and my views.
I can’t and won’t speak for IACB, but as for myself, I hardly think that I am expressing any “privilege” by calling out the inherent fascism within the class of antipornography “feminist” ideology, and their blatant slanders of people like me whose only crime is to have basic ideas about sexuality that don’t perfectly coincide with their own.
Yes, I willingly admit to approaching these people on occasion as condensending, rude and offensive…but only because I find their fundamental ideology to be very much the same, if not worse. And how would you feel if you were purposely called out BY NAME as not only a pimp, a rapist, a misogynist who only uses feminism to get into women’s panties, even a paid john who puts words into women’s mouths?? You may pardon me, Amber, if the result of all this has shortened my fuse enough to light up my dark side of rage, which I normally don’t show in more decent company.
It’s the same way I approach White supremacists or fundamentalist Christians or any other right-wing group that attacks my humanity…and why should I be any more respectful to those who show no level of respect for my humanity?? Sometimes, you can’t be nice to people who take your generosity as weakness and your attempts at decent debate as mere excuses to throw more shit at you.
I really do apologize to you, Amber, if my tone does upset you that much, and you have every right to be as critical of my views as anyone else whom I consider an ally. You are, as always, entitled to your opinion of me, and I’m big enough to accept criticism from friends.
I simply will NOT apologize one bit, though, for standing up for my views and for speaking what I feel is the truth about these people who abuse and misuse the noble cause of feminism for sheer hatred and shame and loathing and terror. However it may come out to you as “verbal chest thumping,” I still feel that I have the right to defend myself against personal slander….especially when the attacks are directed at my own chest.
As you so aptly said, the personal is political is sexual is ME. I speak only for myself, and I expect no one else to speak for me, nor do I claim to speak for anyone else but me. I will take back the degree of harshness as it is directed towards you and my other friends…but against those who are not so friendly, I reserve my right to defend myself with the full force I have.
I know where you stand, Amber…and now you know where I stand. Hopefully, we can still be allies and not let out personal disagreements get in the way of our common goals.
Anthony
Hi Anthony,
I can respect what you’ve said here and even though it probably is hard to see it as anything but an attack, my post was not meant as a personal attack on you or IACB. Rather, I am concerned w/ the role men play in feminism (especially after some rather nasty, extreme situations we’ve seen recently) and the most effective way to communicate with others. At the same time, I understand that communicating w/ others isn’t always one’s desire.
I certainly hear you on this:
And that is why I wanted to clarify here that I was not intending a personal attack. Hope that makes sense.
So acknowledged, Amber…no offense taken at all.
Anthony
Um, I only just ran across this.
Yes, I can be pretty confrontational, but in proportion to the way I’m being treated. I also pride myself on a certain degree of blunt honesty – I don’t try to bullshit people by giving them a false front of politically correct rhetoric as a way of worming my way into what I really want. I put what I think out there for others to accept or reject. I’m not carrying a hidden agenda at all.
You ask me to “check my privilege”, but I don’t even identify with the kind of pro-feminist politics you’re talking about, so sorry, really. (I don’t identify as anti-feminist, either, just to clarify.) I’m not a Christian, either, so I’m not about “turning the other cheek”.
I’m not sure if you have a specific thread in mind, I’m presuming the one over at NDs site. I was more or less called out there and actually responded there to only a few things, really. ND was being far more confrontational than me, I think. I think the rudest thing I had to say was to call her argument “lame”, but it kind of was.
I know there’s a lot of mutual animosity between myself and many of the feminist bloggers. If I’m listening to my own better instincts, I don’t even engage with most of these people. But if you think I’m going to be terribly forgiving and “check my privilege” toward a group of people who have, at times, threatened me with lawsuits or made it clear that they wished me physical harm, its not happening, and that’s that.
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