My comments on Dacia’s post from yesterday…
Comment numero uno:
I think you did as good a job w/ this post.
I think what ppl from the outside looking in don’t get is, it’s NOT a clearcut case of Jefferson being vilified for his sexuality. And it’s not simply that he wrote about his sex life and also happened to have kids (which would be the classic “parent” == “not sexualized” fear response) - it’s that he wrote about his sex life and his kids in a very public way in the same forum… AND arguably took advantage of insecure women AND has a drinking problem.
I think (hope) that there’s got to be a way to fight the very REAL problems of sexual stigmatization and compartmentalization of sexuality without harming oneself in the process… and there’s got to be away to address these issues without letting someone’s bad behavior go excused unde the guise of it. Because no one is talking about that other stuff. Maybe - and I can understand this - they think it’ll make the sex blogging community “look bad” somehow. But the solution is certainly NOT to close ranks and sweep it under the rug for the sake of party unity.
I hate that there’s really no way to say any of this without it sounding like blaming the victim; but the fact is, this situation is so much more complex than how it’s being painted.
The legitimate question remains of, why bring these issues up now, when he’s “down?” Why didn’t anyone speak up before? And yeah, that’s a damn good question. Of course, it’s bc it’s germane to bring them up now; and I can’t fault people for not wanting to invite drama prior to this. But the mere fact that no one has wanted to touch it at all is telling.
Comment numero dos:
Suzanne Portnoy,
There are reasons (which have nothing at all to do w/ sexuality) to question Jefferson’s ability to provide for his kids, but I don’t feel comfortable bringing them up because it starts to veer into invasion of privacy territory, and it feels a little creepy to me. This is essentially a non-comment, I know, but I wanted to say *something*, just so people know that there *is* more to this story than even Dacia has posted here. There’s backstory that the casual blog reader won’t and can’t be expected to know.
I hate doing this cop-out “paste in my comments” post about this topic, but I don’t have any time for much more at the moment. Hopefully that will change later today and I can write more when I get home. Realistically, though, I’ll probably collapse into bed; my Ambien hasn’t arrived yet and I didn’t take a Tylenol PM last night, and guess what, it was back to the nightmares, cold sweats, and tossing and turning.
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