December 2008

Twitter updates for 2008-12-31

  • Had breakfast at Radial. Back home now. Trying to decide if I want to go to Old Navy today or put it off. #
  • My most-commented-on blog posts of 2008: http://is.gd/eiFQ #
  • Procrastinating on going out to Old Navy and post office (not that @absurdities will mind on the latter). I think a nap is in order instead. #
  • @absurdities – Your use of “post” as a verb to mean “mail” is so British. And I first, of course, I thought of blog posts. in reply to absurdities #
  • Snacking on blueberries #
  • My plans are coming together for the January Atlanta Social Media Club meeting… *rubs hands together connivingly* #
  • Ha!! Love it… RT @viviane212: “maverick,” “green,” “bailout,” 2009 List of Banished Words: http://tinyurl.com/48cj6 #
  • Dare I try to catch up on reading feeds? #
  • I hate when mailing lists don’t have an unsubscribe option. How did I get put on the Augusta Parent newsletter? :P #
  • @nikkistrick – Stage 3: profit? in reply to nikkistrick #
  • LOL, a Google search hit my site for “swingers in Milledgeville” #
  • Tonight I’m not going to take a half-Ambien. Trying to not take it so frequently. #
  • @absurdities – Fuck going out. Going out on NYE sucks. I’m staying in and watching a friend’s wedding webcast (seriously) and Office DVDs. in reply to absurdities #
  • Looking fwd to watching @jenbrock’s wedding webcast! :) #
  • @gvonk – Ours has been having problems too & the maintenance guy told us about a little red ‘reset’ switch. But you prob. thought of that. in reply to gvonk #
  • My doctor and WebMD say Ambien isn’t addictive. Google search for “is ambien addictive” says otherwise; what to believe? I guess it depends. #
  • @jenbrock – I second @SpaceyG – your dress was *awesome*, your hair looked great, loved the flowers! Congrats!! in reply to jenbrock #
  • @playwithmatch @chasrmartin – Good distinction. I take 5 mgs a night but will try to wean myself off. @sheatsb That’s what I’m afraid of :P in reply to playwithmatch #
  • Blogs that are written as if a cat, dog, or baby is the author really creep me out. #

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Dec 31 2008 11:59 pm | Category: Twitter tweets | Comments Off

10 most commented posts of 2008

Here they are, folks, thanks to a plug-in called “Most Commented,” which apparently accomplishes the same thing as this sexy query. The number of comments don’t rival my most commented in 2005, where the top post got 100 comments and several others came close; I suppose that’s due in part to RSS and other technologies which detach people from the actual site of the blog they’re reading. Let’s all make a resolution for 2009: more blog commenting!!

  1. Words matter, part 2,465,986 (28) – Written shortly after the Spitzer story broke, this is a post about the importance and impact of the language journalists choose to use when writing about sex workers.
  2. Summation (26) – A post summarizing the shit that went down on the *OMG super-secret* email list I was a part of in late 2007/early 2008. The fallout of me daring to ask questions ended up putting me in a really bad headspace.
  3. What’s kinky? (25) – “Kinky” is one of those words that’s tossed around a lot but doesn’t have a clear definition. Ask 10 people what it means and you’ll get 10 different answers – which is exactly what happened in this thread.
  4. Quick brain dump (22) – Some thoughts on the treatment of sex work as a “different” kind of career (or even a job and not a long-term career) and how much of that is warranted vs. how much is just recycled patriarchal stereotyping; also, why it’s important for college students to be treated as the adults they are.
  5. Three years! (20) – Rusty and I celebrated our 3-year anniversary this year. :) This is a breakdown of how it all came to be.
  6. Tie for #6, with 19 comments:
    • Strip club etiquette – Pretty self-explanatory. A guy showed up with somewhat creepy comments, even though the people I was most interested in hearing from were (duh) actual strippers.
    • Feminist allies – The importance of men being vocal feminist allies instead of just throwing their hands up and saying they can’t be bothered.
  7. Five-way(!) tie for #7, with 18 comments:
  8. Three-way tie for #8 with 17 comments:
    • And again, and again, and again… – People clutch their pearls about pole dancing (again!) and my patience is tested.
    • Response to Hugo Schwyzer – Long response to a post Hugo Schwyzer wrote about anti-sex work viewpoints and his attempt to “bridge the divide.”
    • Libertarians! – Blockquoted comments I left at Ren’s blog, wherein I talk about different types of Libertarians and why even though I like some of what they say, for the most part I have trouble taking them seriously.
  9. Three-way tie for #9 with 16 comments:
    • What’s kinky, indeed – Follow-up to the “What’s kinky?” post above, where I write about the different responses I received as well as my own conception of what kinky means.
    • 5th Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy – Doesn’t get much more self-explanatory than that!
    • Annoyed!! – A rant about vacuum cleaners, which ultimately inspired me to buy a Roomba (and keep the Dirt Devil because the crevice tool has some serious sucking power).
  10. Who I am is good enough.* (14) – A self pep talk, including an early new year’s resolution to remember to trust my intuition. Most of the comments were very nice and helped me feel a little better.

Okay… onward to 2009!

Dec 31 2008 12:54 pm | Category: Blog | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment »

links for 2008-12-31

  • "But more than that, I like the candor. I’m a little tired of the coy push-and-pull that we teach young women, as if they should play up their sexuality but ultimately recoil from sexual activity, resulting in our classically conflicted nympho-puritanical views: we’re sex-saturated (advertising, porn) yet we’re also sex-avoidant (MPAA, morality laws). If we’re talking about depictions of women, I want to see more of this, of women looking you in the eye and fucking owning their sex. I want to see more women like Sasha Grey and Charlotte Stokely."
  • "However, to be perfectly frank – my opinion on sex work is, essentially, inconsequential. One may think sex work is immoral, anti-feminist, 'icky', whatever. The simple fact is there are women out there who are vulnerable and made more vulnerable by bullshit laws. Let’s say we do nothing, keep the laws as they are now. What next? To quote the indomitable Renegade Evolution (a sex worker, sex workers rights activist and blogger), what’s the plan? Harm reduction (discussed here by Ren for Feministe) is the priority here, religion, morality, feminism, that’s not the major concern right now. The need to protect vulnerable women, respect women’s right to choose to sell sex and ensure a safe working environment for women are the priorities. There are times I’m at a complete loss as to why feminists cannot agree to this."
    Caroline wrote a great post; but the "discussion" (I use the term loosely, bc basically it's one jackass derailing) in the comments is SO frustratingly typical.
Dec 31 2008 07:30 am | Category: del.icio.us links | Comments Off

Twitter updates for 2008-12-30

  • About to go look at more houses #
  • Saw a few more good houses #
  • We saw our perfect house today EXCEPT for 2 loud barking dogs next door. F&%$ing dogs, argh!! #
  • Bah, my essay proposal was rejected for the Seal Press “click moment” anthology. Ah well. Up side is now I don’t have to write an essay! #
  • @absurdities – They were the kind that bark at everything, anything, nothing, constantly. FAIL. in reply to absurdities #
  • Heading out to a party for @rustytanton’s parents’ 40th wedding anniversary. Next house hunting appt. is Friday. I’ll be antsy til then. #
  • On the way home we stopped by the house w/ the loud dogs. Didn’t hear them. I’ll be cruising by periodically for the next 2 days. #
  • @jenbrock – You never have good experiences w/ Houlihan’s do you? in reply to jenbrock #
  • Talked to someone tonight who found 100-yr-old family photos, no labels, grandparents dead. Now they have no idea who the ppl are. #
  • …Moral of the story? LABEL YOUR PHOTOS!! As in, the hard copies! Do it NOW while ppl are still alive! #
  • @lizhenry – I wonder the same thing; ‘course I also freak out about the (im)permanence of digital stuff in reply to lizhenry #
  • @absurdities – Thanks, you just made me Google “padawan” in reply to absurdities #

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Dec 30 2008 11:59 pm | Category: Twitter tweets | Comments Off

links for 2008-12-30

Dec 30 2008 07:30 am | Category: del.icio.us links | Comments Off

Twitter updates for 2008-12-29

  • Stomach feeling unsettled this morning. :P No time for this, at 10 we’re going to look at houses. #
  • At vinocity in kirkwood. They have great sweet tea & are playing old-school R.E.M. #
  • Btw, we saw 3 good houses this a.m. #
  • “Carnival of Sorts” was way before Michael Stipe started enunciating. #
  • @sunluff – Are you *moving* to Chicago or just visiting? I loved it when I was there the 2 times I’ve been. in reply to sunluff #
  • Stomach ache again. Time for a nap. Hope the repair guy doesn’t come while I’m napping. #
  • @absurdities – I need to mail your xmas present, but considering how *you* are about mailing, hopefully you won’t mind a few more days! >:) in reply to absurdities #
  • @jenbrock – Just looked at your Jim Martin flier Twitpic again and thought he looks like Eugene Talmadge. in reply to jenbrock #
  • Sad… via @thecurvature http://tinyurl.com/axhao3 #
  • Go away, headache. I need to do a quick cleaning on the birdcage, since they’ve totally ripped up their cage bedding paper towel. #
  • About to head to Whole Foods (for birdseed) and Petsmart (for other bird stuff). #
  • I lost my damn CVS coupon, which was the whole reason I came. :p #
  • @jenbrock – Once they turn 30 they’ll need a new license plate in reply to jenbrock #
  • RT @uncool01: call for submissions – http://tinyurl.com/7xxyss #
  • Ha, one of the houses we’re seeing tomorrow has a koi pond. http://is.gd/e6th #
  • Wouldn’t you love to be known as “Dubai sex man” or “sex-on-beach man?” Oh, media. http://is.gd/e74s #
  • @sarawara – DQ’ed? Dairy Queened? *trying to figure out this acronym* in reply to Sarawara #

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Dec 29 2008 11:59 pm | Category: Twitter tweets | Comments Off

links for 2008-12-29

  • "Being secure enough in yourself to not be threatened by your partner’s sexual fantasies is a paramount of a sexually happy and satisfying relationship. Being open to hearing your partner’s fantasies without judgment or jealousy doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do those things, it just means you have to validate them and not make them feel that they can’t talk with you about them."
  • "Each time I am called one of the names, my accuser gives an account of my failings. I am either living in the past, not seeing clearly, or base my opinions on irrational hatred. It seems that no matter how well thought out my argument is there is always some huge gaping fault when it challenges any kind of privilege. If I wasn't so racist/homophobic/man hating I would be able to see the truth that my accusers have laid out before me. One of my personal favourites is that I am creating an issue where none actually exists. Yep the hysterical female argument."
Dec 29 2008 07:30 am | Category: del.icio.us links | Comments Off

Twitter updates for 2008-12-28

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Dec 28 2008 11:59 pm | Category: Twitter tweets | Comments Off

Top 10 blog topics of 2008

Inspired by Griftdrift, I decided to make a list of the top blog stories/topics/themes of 2008 ’round the parts of the blogosphere I frequent. The great thing about blogging and top 10 lists? There’s no wrong answer, because of the diversity of the communities we move in. So here they are, in (mostly) chronological order:

1. Spitzer scandal

On March 10, the story broke about New York governor Eliot Spitzer being involved in a (get your Bingo cards ready) “prostitution ring.” The pro- sex workers’ rights blogs were all over it from the beginning, especially Bound, Not Gagged, which was the #1 resource for updates as they unfolded. Sex workers’ rights groups across the country and world issued statements and press releases supporting Kristen and denouncing Spitzer’s hypocrisy. Bloggers challenged the same-old, same-old coverage put forth by mainstream media – oversimplification, titillation, and reinforcement of stereotypes – as well as MSM’s clumsy and transparently insincere attempts to “reach out” to sex workers. Behind the scenes, via email, text messages, and Twitter DMs, sex workers and their allies wasted no time in organizing a media team, and gave last-minute interviews from far-flung locations. Even though the voices of sex workers’ rights advocates were largely overshadowed by the usual rehashed “arguments” about prostitution, for the first time we began to make a dent in the coverage, thanks in large part to the greater connectivity offered by social media.

2. Atlanta tornado

On March 14, a tornado ripped through downtown Atlanta. I first heard about it on Twitter; Dave, who was at the Flatiron at the time, sent this tweet: “Tornado just came through the flat iron. We’re all fine but it was insane.” Coverage via social media and citizen journalism was almost overwhelming in its immediacy and thoroughness. People were taking photos, shooting video,Twittering, etc. Because of the coverage from the people on the ground, mainstream media reluctantly had to admit that the tornado hit parts of town other than the business district – although their coverage of the damage in places such as Vine City was still miniscule compared to citizen journalism coverage.

3. Seal Press/WAM!2008 debacle

Some bloggers who are women of color went to WAM!2008 and had some complaints about it. Blackamazon said “fuck Seal Press” and the feminist blogosphere blew up. Seal Press responded and the bloggers Apostate refers to as the noisy group didn’t like the response, and the blogosphere blew up again. Then other publications wrote (poorly and inaccurately, for the most part) about what happened and the blogosphere blew up a third time.

I stayed out of this one for the most part, because I’m pretty sure my thoughts on the matter wouldn’t have been popular with most people on either opposing “side” of the brouhaha, and I didn’t feel like dealing with drama.

4. Amanda Marcotte, Brownfemipower, and “intellectual appropriation”

On the heels of the Seal Press girlcott, there was also Amandagate (have I mentioned I hate the use of -gate as a suffix for any scandal?), wherein some bloggers accused Amanda Marcotte of having plagiarized Brownfemipower. I stayed out of this one for the most part, too.

5. New UK porn law

In May, the UK passed a new law banning so-called “extreme” porn. Bloggers on both sides of the pond covered the Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill (of which the porn ban was a part) as it made its way through the Houses of Parliament. Protests were held and people of all stripes spoke out against the ban, but ultimately it passed. So you’d better be careful about what’s on your hard drive, even if you don’t live in the UK; this law sets a dangerous precedent.

6. Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s death

On May 1, the body of Deborah Jeane Palfrey (a.k.a. the DC Madam) was found at her mother’s home in Tarpon Springs, Florida, dead from an apparent suicide. I first heard the news on Twitter, from Melissa. As with the Spitzer scandal, Bound, Not Gagged was again the central location for information – and, in this case, mourning. An online memorial was created shortly after her death, and starting on the night of May 12, a 24-hour vigil of remembrance was held.

It’s hard to talk about death without slipping into what sounds like clichés and platitudes, even if they’re actually sincere, but what I want to say is: We might never know whether Palfrey actually took her own life or was murdered, but sex workers’ rights activists will keep asking the questions that need to be asked, in memory of her life which was needlessly cut short.

7. Kyle Payne

Kyle Payne is a self-professed anti-porn feminist ally, who “is particularly interested in men’s roles in confronting pornography and the rape culture” and served as a rape crisis counselor for four years. It just so happens that he was arrested for assaulting a female student at Buena Vista University. After Eleanor’s Trousers first mentioned it, the news spread like wildfire through the feminist blogosphere. In the weeks leading up to Payne’s sentencing, feminist bloggers stayed on top of the story and sparked a letter-writing campaign to the judge that would preside. Ultimately, Payne was sentenced to six months in jail. It should have been more; but feminist bloggers brought attention to a case that would have otherwise gone virtually unnoticed, and that’s a testament to the power of blogging.

8. The C-word: “Credibility”

So here’s what happened. Andre Walker, who is well-known in the Georgia blogosphere (if not necessarily well-respected), was exposed as having received money from Congressman David Scott’s campaign without having disclosed it. Because Andre wrote several favorable posts about Scott and was credentialed as a journalist by the Georgia Legislature, this is your classic conflict of interest problem. I have to admit I was nonplussed by the revelation, since I never understood why anyone would consider Andre’s blog a beacon of journalistic integrity to begin with. But although I said that with my tongue firmly in my cheek, it’s exactly those sorts of words – “integrity,” “credibility,” “ethics” – that were suddenly being tossed around by the likes of Ken Edelstein. Andre’s actions apparently served as an indictment of all bloggers (stop me if you’ve heard this one before). The debate flared for a while and then died back down, but it’s only a matter of time before the embers are stoked again. Unfortunately, the actions of a few bad apples reinforce the negative pre-conceived notions held by new media naysayers.

9. Pink slips in the pink ghetto

I know, the title for this one is cheesy. I should’ve just stuck with “Sex writers getting canned,” but somehow I couldn’t resist. All silly puns aside, though, the fact is traditional and online publications lost many important voices for positive sexuality this fall. The tanking economy and the precarious position of the media industry in particular was the inevitable explanation. Whether or not you agree that these cuts make sense from a bottom-line perspective, there’s no denying that the effect will be yet another obstacle to intelligent, nuanced discourse on sexuality. While I hate to see people I respect losing their jobs, I do think there’s an opportunity presented here, too. Since one thing that certainly won’t happen is that these people and others like them will simply shut up, I have hope that blogs and other forms of new media will continue to grow and fill the void left by traditional media institutions. Mainstream media might see smart sex content as too risky, but as advocates of positive sexuality we take risks every day.

10. Prop K

Proposition K was a San Francisco ballot initiative, but its importance was covered online regardless of geographic location. Unfortunately Prop K did not pass, but the fact that it was on the ballot at all and got 42% of the vote should be seen as positive gains. I know that doesn’t do anything to change the lives of vulnerable, criminalized sex workers facing real violence right now, and the people who voted “no” and/or vocally opposed it need to think very hard about what their “no” means. Yet this was a historical moment and hard as it is sometimes, I think it’s important for activists to remain positive (which also means taking care of ourselves). I don’t believe Prop K would have had nearly the support it did without the effects of the online community; and maybe next time those effects will be even greater.

Honorable mentions:

Steve Gower

Gower is a dangerous vigilante who terrorizes street-based sex workers – especially trans* workers and workers of color – but thinks of himself as some sort of neighborhood champion for midtown Atlanta. On the heels of the 5th International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, Creative Loafing published a predictably slanted (and infuriating) piece about Gower. For a short time there was outrage over this asshole in the local blogosphere as well as the larger sex workers’ rights blogosphere, but sadly Gower and his MNA sidekicks (see Peggy Denby’s latest stunt of racism and homophobia) are still terrorizing some of Atlanta’s most vulnerable populations.

SpaceyG booted from Peach Pundit

Speaking of predictable… in August, SpaceyG had her front-page posting rights on Peach Pundit revoked. Coverage in the local blogosphere had a particular tone that other stories about political bloggers lacked; it didn’t take a rocket scientist (and we even have one of those!) to smell the sexism. It manifested itself not only in SpaceyG’s initial ousting from Peach Pundit by overlord Erick Erickson, but also in the manner in which it was “covered” – downplaying the significance, blaming the victim, saying “nuh-uh!” – all the usual Bingo squares. C’est la vie, right women bloggers?

Bloggers taking blogging back

To close on a happy note, I started to notice this year that one by one, bloggers are getting fed up with the little boxes into which “digital entrepreneurs” and “social media experts” have tried to shove them. You can do this, you can’t do that, play by the rules if you want to be taken seriously! We’ve reached the tipping point, and more and more bloggers aren’t having it. We’re taking blogging back from those who have tried to co-opt it. My prediction for 2009? Even more momentum of this sentiment!

links for 2008-12-28

  • "Well, the interesting thing is that most traditional cuisines are very healthy, that people — that the human body has done very well on the Mediterranean diet, on the Japanese diet, on the peasant South American diet. It's really interesting how many different foods we can do well on. The one diet we seem poorly adapted to happens to be the one we're eating, the Western diet. So whatever traditional diet suits you — you like eating that way — you know, follow it."
  • "Only Democrats, it seems, reward their most loyal supporters — feminists, gays, liberals, opponents of the war, members of the reality-based community — by elbowing them aside to embrace their opponents instead."
  • "Aside from the fact that the kingdom of Dor is white-washed, the biggest problem for me was the lack of an actual active role for women. Princess Pea is kindly, and passively accepts her father's soup ban, passively stares out her window, and (though not entirely her fault) is ultimately passive in her rescue – acting only to kick a helmet close to trap a cat after the battle has been waged and won by Despereaux and Roscuro. Mig is a homely, far from intelligent girl who wants to get to the castle, is sold along with her pigs by her uncle to serve as a servant in the castle (passive movement), is used and manipulated by Roscuro during his angry period, locked in the dungeon, is discovered by her grieving father, and ends up back on the same farm at the end of the tale. The Queen of Dor dies as soon as she discovers a rat in her soup. And Despereaux's mother passively accepts her husband's assessment of the Despereaux being brave and talking to humans situation."
  • "Ah, the Beatles. Perhaps the most brilliant musicians to ever live. Innovators. Loved by millions. Smart, charming, lovable goofballs. Endlessly fascinating personalities. And yet, not always the nicest guys. No, they were not only all capable of being assholes (though some more than others), they also tended to fall into that group we like to refer to as 'men who swear that they’re progressive, except for when it comes to women.' And John Lennon was certainly no exception. In fact, I’d say that he and Paul McCartney were nose to nose in the race for worst offender. That is, until John met Yoko Ono."
Dec 28 2008 07:30 am | Category: del.icio.us links | 2 Comments »
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