Sex 2.0.2: coming soon
I’m tempted to start off w/ a long explanation of why I haven’t been blogging much lately, but I’ll save that for another time. What I want to mention now is that the second Sex 2.0 will be held in Washington, DC on May 9 (which also happens to be Rusty’s and my 4th fuckiversary; I think that’s a good omen). I can hardly believe it’s been almost a year since my dream of Sex 2.0 came to fruition! I’m not a part of the organizing team this time around, but everything is coming together and I can tell you there are some really amazing sessions lined up, including hands-on tutorials on podcasting and shooting video, discussions on identity, sexual commerce online, transparency, the sex commons, gendered implications of technology, erotica in the digital age, and my personal favorite: “How to Get Some at Cons.” Match has revamped the web site and it looks awesome. Register soon – the early bird rate ends on April 9. Those of us who were at Sex 2.0 last year can attest that it’s a damn good time. There is a block of rooms reserved at the hotel at a really good rate (the conference itself is taking place at a hotel this year). And there are some cool attendee-organized events coming together for the day before and after the conference. Join the Google group if you want to get involved and/or stay up to date on the latest developments. Hope to see you there in May!
BlogHer ‘09: I’m speaking!
I’ve been given the go-ahead to announce this, so, guess what?
I’m going to be on a panel at BlogHer ‘09 in Chicago! Here’s the description:
—
Identity/Passions: LifeBlogging Outside the Lines: When you’re not a Geek, a Political Wonk or a MommyBlogger
Friday, July 24, 1:15-2:30 PM
Blogging started as a geek’s game, and by 2004 political bloggers were making waves and mainstream media news. Post-BlogHer 2005 the rise of the MommyBloggers, first as cultural, then as commercial, force began. So where does that leave the rest of us… blogging about who we are and what we do with as much dedication, passion and amazing writing as any of those other blogging archetypes? We know that many of you who don’t fit neatly into the above boxes share the same concerns:
- How can I dispel stereotypes about people like me?
- How can I build community without something like an ideology or a kid of a particular age to serve as the common thread?
- How can I get a piece of the monetization pie… I have income and spend money too, you know?
Join Shameeka Ayers, Trish Bendix, Jane Gassner, and Amber Rhea and come flex your blogging muscles.
—
I’m really looking forward to this panel! And I have to say, the title amuses me… remember when “lifeblogging” was called, well, blogging? Heh. Also, I am a geek, but I know what they mean… my blog isn’t trying to be TechCrunch (thank god).
If you’re able to make it to BlogHer, register soon to get early-bird pricing through this Saturday!
Sundries
(Am I the only one who always reads “sundries” as “sun-dries,” like the plural for sun-dried tomatoes?)
Been busy w/ work and the new house. Hate saying something like that because it sounds so cliché, and also because I hate when people use “I’m busy” as a go-to excuse for everything. Hello, everyone is busy, it’s nothing special.
Anyway, here are some summaries of what’s been happening.
~*~
Monday I went to the Feminism2.0 conference in Washington, DC, with Ren. The subject matter and issues discussed were not new to me, but overall it was interesting and I’m glad I went. I liveblogged the following sessions:
- Feminism on the Move – Where we were and where are we now?
- Media and Culture: Feminists and the Media – Speaking Out
- Bloggers and Activists: An Intimate and Frank Conversation
I also posted a few photos on Flickr, many of which show the linkfluence node map thingy that was blowing everyone’s mind. I thought the top 30 list was pretty neat – and that’s all. Such things should be taken with the appropriate serving of salt. Or to put it another way, Technorati rankings are not character judgments.
Predictably, there are now conversations ensuing about who was “excluded,” and it’s driving me batty. I really try not to get all “snarky tech geek” on people, but this isn’t an issue of exclusion/inclusion. And honestly at this point it seems like there’s no pleasing some people. As I said at Renee’s, if WOC bloggers are not highly ranked by algorithms like that, it’s likely because of a lack of interlinking, which may happen because WOC bloggers feel that other feminist blogs are hostile environments and therefore don’t link to them. This is not condoning anything, it’s a straightforward explanation. Example: if you make your blog private, it’s not indexed by Google. That’s just the way the internet works.
Frankly, I’m sick of these conversations because they always seem to be Oppression Olympics and too often it seems like people who don’t understand the way SEO works are making outrageous, spurious claims. And more and more, I get a sense of people not wanting to be proactive, but rather just passively snarking about how everything is so unfair.
And I hate that saying that makes me sound (to some, perhaps) like the assholes who deny that privilege exists; the people who, when someone points out an instance of white privilege, male privilege, hetero privilege, whatever, take it as a personal attack. I can’t STAND those people! I hate that there seems to be such a dichotomy set up, though, that you can’t have a legitimate critique with being painted as identical to those people. And I’m afraid it will make people not listen to me when I raise legitimate critiques (e.g., exclusion of sex workers’ voices; myriad instances of male privilege and institutionalized sexism, especially the “unintentional” kind). -Of course, the corollary to that is, if people can’t make a distinction between a legitimate critique and passive snarking, that’s their problem; but we all know that common sense is not so common.
~*~
SoCon09 is tomorrow. I’m glad Rusty and I are going this year; we went in 2007, but missed it last year in favor of going to PodCamp Nashville. That turned out to be a mistake, because PodCamp Nashville sucked. We still had fun in Nashville and the rest of the road trip, but seeing all the tweets and liveblogs from SoCon08 made us realize we’d chosen the wrong unconference for that weekend!
I’m leading a session tomorrow called “Online Etiquette: How to Balance Your Personal and Professional Image Online.” I didn’t pick the name. The session was already named and Sherry “assigned” it to me. I would not have used the word “etiquette” in this context, because to me that belongs in a completely separate discussion, and I’m bothered by the way the two are often conflated. But, I plan to bring that up in the session! Hopefully there will be some good discussion generated (and hopefully I won’t end up with a massive headache). If it’s anything like my BlogOrlando session, I’ll be pleased.
And, I have an order in at Office Depot for 80 more Buzzword Bingo cards. Josh initially prodded me; J motivated me and offered to chip in to help pay for them! Nik offered twenty bucks, too. So I’ll give the people what they want! There won’t be a formal game or anything, but it’ll be interesting to see how many Bingos people get throughout the day. ;)
~*~
Progress is being made (how ’bout that passive voice!) on the bedroom at the new house. The first coat of paint is complete and we’ll be putting the second coat on this weekend.
I feel like we’ve been very fortunate w/ this whole home-buying process. Everyone has been very nice to us. We’ve gotten gifts, for crying out loud!
From Stacia, our agent:
She also gave us two types of birdseed, a card, and a Lowe’s gift card.
The home inspection company made postcards with a picture of the house, the address, and “Just Moved” on them; and return address labels with a picture of the house.
Last weekend, we discovered champagne and chocolates in the fridge, from the seller:
And last night, when I went over to the house there was a package on the doorstep…
It was from the listing agent. It’s a stained-glass bird!
The bird is actually their logo, but it doesn’t look like a logo. (Rusty and I have discussed how this is very smart marketing.) They gave one to the seller at the closing, and I guess after finding out that we’re “bird people” they decided to give one to us, too. It was a really nice surprise.
On a geeky note, I should mention that I uploaded some of the closing pictures to Facebook, and immediately friend requested and tagged most of the people in this group shot.
~*~
New favorite recipe: Macaroni and Cheese with Cauliflower, from Real Simple Magazine. It’s really more of a casserole. Rusty was skeptical at first, but after he made it, all the skepticism was gone. It makes enough to feed a small army. After we ate a bunch of it the first night (photo is of my first serving only), we made six individually packaged portions and put them in the freezer. We ate the last of it yesterday. Maybe we’ll make some for our eventual housewarming party.
~*~
Not sure if I ever blogged about this, but Rusty posted a really fascinating interview with his great-aunt Jane, who was working at Grady Hospital the night of the Winecoff Hotel fire in 1946. She ended up taking in almost all of the bodies at the morgue. This is the kind of priceless history that is imperative to preserve.
If you’re having trouble viewing the video, try upgrading your Flash player. You can also download the file and watch it on your desktop.
After watching the video a few times, I had a dream that I was in the Winecoff Hotel fire, only it was happening now, and I knew in advance what would happen, and there was a social media conference going on at the Winecoff (Tessa and other Atlanta social media people were there), and I kept trying to convince the people on the upper levels to get out now because the fire was slowly coming up the building and I knew the people on the higher levels wouldn’t be able to escape, but they were all nonchalant and ignored me.
~*~
Am I becoming old and boring because I post about things like recipes and painting the bedroom of the house my long-term partner and I just bought? Hey, at least I’m not posting photos of my kids and blogging about the cute things they did today. Stop me if I ever get to that point! (Probably moot because I don’t plan to have kids – but of course, I reserve the right to change my mind.)
Feminism2.0, SoCon09, and Sex 2.0(.2!)
What events will I be attending over the next few months? Well I’ll tell you…
- Feminism2.0, February 2 in Washington, DC. I’m staying with Ren, woohoo! Watch out, we’ll be all sexee in our big coats and scarves! I’ll try to do some liveblogging. And I’ll try to keep the Twitterrhea to a minimum, which is easier for me than some because I don’t have an iPhone or Blackberry.
- SoCon09, February 7 at Kennesaw State University. Rusty and I went to the first one in 2007 but missed last year’s, regrettably. I’m supposed to be leading a session but I haven’t heard anything else about it from the organizers. Stay tuned.
- And of course Sex 2.0, in its second year, the organization effort being headed up by Match et al. It’ll be in DC on May 9, which also happens to be Rusty’s and my 4th anniversary. Talk about a testament to the power of sex and social media!
BlogHer Atlanta thoughts
As you’ve seen if you read my Twitter tweets, a few days ago BlogHer Atlanta, along with the three other Southern locations of the BlogHer Reach Out tour (Greensboro, Nashville, New Orleans) has been canceled.
:( :( :(
(I guess this means I don’t have to worry about writing that other post where I talk about how I found people’s reactions to my panel announcement to be weird and hurtful!)
I’m going to try to cover as much as possible in this post – and there’s a lot to cover. Admittedly it might not be the best time for me to be writing it, as I’ve just taken a Klonopin and drank some sort of espresso/mint concocation, discovered a mysterious crack in my car windshield, fought for 15 minutes to unstick my parking break, and am generally freaking out about staying in Augusta for another two days while Rusty is in Knoxville. I really really don’t want to, but I know I’ll end up staying – at least til Saturday evening. You would think my dad died yesterday with the way my moods are all over the place. So, yeah, maybe not the best time. BUT, I don’t want to keep putting it off, and I’m in this Metro Coffeehouse and it seems (for the time being, anyway; that may change when these fratty-looking fools who just walked in start shooting pool) like a conducive place for blogging – moreso than my mom’s living room, for some reason.
ANYWAY. Onward to BlogHer stuff. If I leave something out, it’s just an oversight, as there’s a lot of related stuff swimming around in my head, and I’ll probably do a follow-up post in that case.
Also none of this is a personal dig at Elisa Camahort, who I think is great. BUT I do think BlogHer as an organization handled this situation poorly, and I feel I have the right to share that criticism, and hopefully they will be receptive.
The official explanation was inadequate “sponsor and community support” in these cities. I think this is an unfair and dishonest way of rhetorically shifting the blame to the communities. We have LOTS of community support for social media here in Atlanta. If the problem is lack of sponsor dollars, that’s not the same thing as lack of community support. Yes, I know it says “sponsor AND community support,” but the way that’s worded, the conflation is bound to happen whether it’s intentional or not.
Also you simply cannot have the same expectations for Atlanta that you have for LA, San Francisco, or New York. We have a thriving social media community here, BUT it does not (nor should it) look like the scenes in those cities. That doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a chance. And it feels pretty shitty to constantly get passed by. I remember when I was in the early planning stages of Sex 2.0, somebody (Melissa, maybe? I can’t remember) suggested I move it to San Francisco to coincide w/ Arse Elektronika or the Folsom Street Fair or something. My answer was an emphatic NO! I live in Atlanta, so why would I hold a conference that’s my brainchild in another city? Also, I am sick and tired of EVERYTHING being in California and New York. There are other places out there, believe it or not, and a lot of ‘em are pretty darn cool. As Jen said on Twitter: “Assuming that said community support doesn’t exist, how it (sic) one supposed to build it up without conferences?”
Basically I think BlogHer was aiming to do too much too soon w/ these Reach Out tours. Yes, it is definitely awesome that they provide breakfast and lunch at their conferences; but that’s not necessary. Cocktail parties are also nice, but again, not necessary. Sex 2.0 didn’t have any of those frills and it was a blast – because of the people and energy in attendance. That’s what will truly make or break any event.
Another issue may have been purely logistical; Darcey pointed out on Twitter, “Maybe has to do with the conference being held for one day during middle of the weel (sic)? Maybe if it were a Friday, would be diff.” I think there’s definitely some truth to that – it can be hard for people to get time off work.
I don’t know if I can convey how much I was looking forward to this panel. And we had some really awesome panelists lined up: yours truly (duh), Tiffany Brown, Amy Davis, and Callie Simms, with Elisa moderating. An excellent diversity of opinions and experiences, and only one panelist was not from Atlanta. To recap, this was the panel description:
The “Naked” Blogging Double Standard
At just about every BlogHer event we end up discussing the ramifications of “naked” blogging; that is, blogging your true self. Blogging’s low barrier to entry has provided a platform for everyone, and particularly women, to tell our own stories, to create a more diverse cultural record than has been historically typical, and to own our experiences and how transparently we choose to share those experiences. Every blogger draws their boundaries differently. In a survey BlogHer conducted a couple of years ago bloggers indicated that it was more taboo to discuss finances on their blog than sex! But, let’s get real: Really? We’re not sure we’re buying it. Is anyone else out there blown away by how much conflict the issues of gender, sex and sexuality (and society’s expectations of how women “should” behave) still stir up… and by how much judgment is still thrown at women who ignore the admonishment that “nice girls don’t?”Every year at BlogHer the debate rages: Can we talk about shoes and still be taken seriously? Well, let’s take it a step further: Can women talk openly about sex and still be taken seriously? And is it different for men? Women certainly don’t agree on the answer, so you can be sure the answer is even more unclear in segments of society, industry and the blogosphere that are more male-dominated. How do we challenge that status quo – and support women in their choices, even when they might not be our choices? Join Amber Rhea, one of the women leading the charge for change, in a frank discussion designed to expose the naked blogging double standard and challenge our preconceived notions of what it means to be taken seriously.
I feel VERY passionately about this topic, and I don’t see it being discussed very many places. (And by “very many places” I mean “at all.”) I was SO looking forward to having a somewhat formal panel of questions, also with time for plenty of audience input and sharing of experiences, on this very important and under-explored topic, in a space with primarily women who blog or use social media in other ways.
I’ll be leading a session next weekend at BlogOrlando on a somewhat-related topic; hence:
Professionalism 2.0
What does “professionalism” mean in the context of blogging? Is it a matter of the topics you write about, the language you use, the amount of research you put into a typical post – or all or none of the above? Social media tools offer us the opportunity to express our full humanity instead of compartmentalizing aspects of who we are. To what degree do we need to adjust our pre-conceived notions about what’s professional and what isn’t?
And don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m not excited about this, because I definitely am. But it won’t be a mostly-women space, and thus the conversation won’t center on how these deeply entrenched and unexamined biases affect us as women online, and how we (consciously or unconsciously) replicate existing arbitrary standards among ourselves. It will also be an unconference format (which, duh, I love) so there won’t be a formal panel with a moderator, and I think this particular topic is one that is well-served by having a bit of structure.
Elisa mentioned in an email to me that she really likes the topic and hopes I will consider bringing it to BlogHer ‘09. At this point, I don’t know. It kind of feels like, “Sorry you couldn’t present this in your own community and engage the opinions of local social media participants; but hey, fly your ass all the way to California and do it here, because this is the place that really matters.”
Not a good feeling. Once again the South is passed over, deemed “not good enough.”
And it’s not just me who’s sad – a lot of people on Twitter and in email were conveying their disappointment.
Now, I also want to be kind of devil’s advocate here – or not really devil’s advocate, but just address some things that would be valid criticisms if I left it just at this. First of all, it annoyed the shit out of me when I saw people whining and complaining on Twitter about BlogHer ATL being “too expensive.” Well, what do you expect? Do you really expect to be handed an awesome event on a platter for free? If it pisses you off that much, try organizing your own event and then maybe you’ll see how it’s not exactly a walk in the park. The two conferences I’ve organized, which are much smaller in scale than BlogHer ATL would have been (although, tangent: there’s no reason it couldn’t have been on that smaller scale, and in fact originally I thought that was the whole point of the Reach Out tour) drained me completely, so that I will never do anything like that again. And guess what, that shit COSTS MONEY. Even Sex 2.0, where we had no frills whatsoever, cost just over $4,000 – and there were STILL people bitching about paying the $40 admission!! (And you know how much I hate the word “bitching,” so I must be pretty worked up to use it here.) I just get so damn irritated with people who just expect that everything should be handed to them and wah wah wah if it costs “too much.” Fuck that. You want community events, let’s sack up and make ‘em happen – and quit whining!
But all that being said, I do think BlogHer could have (and should have) scaled back the event and then the admission would’ve been able to be lower and then more people might have signed up. Of course, you can’t make people go to anything – and lord knows I’ve dealt with more than my share of lazy asses who say they’ll do something or come to something and then they JUST DON’T – but that might have helped a bit. And then next year people might be willing to pay more for an event with more frills. (Keep in mind, too, that salaries and such in Atlanta aren’t what they are in LA!)
And now I have totally lost my train of thought. There was more I wanted to say, and certainly some of the above that I didn’t say nearly as eloquently as I should. I’ll go ahead and stop for now, though, and put this up in its imperfect state, and let the flamage commence, I guess. I better go get a chicken salad sandwich at New Moon… all I’ve had to eat all day is a banana and a plum, and that can’t be helping my frazzled state.
Overall I am just really, really sad about BlogHer Atlanta being canceled. I’m not sure many people truly understood how important this was to me. Now I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance to hold a forum on this topic that I’m so passionate about.
BlogHer Atlanta panel
Hey, guess what? I’m hosting a panel at BlogHer Atlanta! Here’s the description:
The “Naked” Blogging Double Standard
At just about every BlogHer event we end up discussing the ramifications of “naked” blogging; that is, blogging your true self. Blogging’s low barrier to entry has provided a platform for everyone, and particularly women, to tell our own stories, to create a more diverse cultural record than has been historically typical, and to own our experiences and how transparently we choose to share those experiences. Every blogger draws their boundaries differently. In a survey BlogHer conducted a couple of years ago bloggers indicated that it was more taboo to discuss finances on their blog than sex! But, let’s get real: Really? We’re not sure we’re buying it. Is anyone else out there blown away by how much conflict the issues of gender, sex and sexuality (and society’s expectations of how women “should” behave) still stir up… and by how much judgment is still thrown at women who ignore the admonishment that “nice girls don’t?”Every year at BlogHer the debate rages: Can we talk about shoes and still be taken seriously? Well, let’s take it a step further: Can women talk openly about sex and still be taken seriously? And is it different for men? Women certainly don’t agree on the answer, so you can be sure the answer is even more unclear in segments of society, industry and the blogosphere that are more male-dominated. How do we challenge that status quo – and support women in their choices, even when they might not be our choices? Join Amber Rhea, one of the women leading the charge for change, in a frank discussion designed to expose the naked blogging double standard and challenge our preconceived notions of what it means to be taken seriously.
Many thanks to super-cool Elisa for giving me this opportunity. (Gee, do I sound like I’m accepting any Emmy or something?) I hope you folks reading this will come and help make it an interesting panel. (I resisted the urge to say, sarcastically, “join the conversation.”) You can register for BlogHer Atlanta here. And here’s the run-down of what the BlogHer Reach Out Tour is all about, if you’re too lazy to click through:
BlogHer’s Reach Out Tour:
Register now for BlogHer ATLANTA ‘08!When?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008Where?
Georgia Tech Hotel & Conference Center
800 Spring St NW
Atlanta, Georgia 30308
404.347.9440What is BlogHer ATLANTA ‘08 About?
For the first time ever, BlogHer is launching a two-week tour, bringing highlights from the annual event to six different cities. Each of these one-day conferences will feature a broad range of topics and speakers, a cocktail reception for networking and socializing, and a little bit of local flavor. We’ll be focusing on topics that seem to resonate strongest in each city, and looking for your local bloggers to lead the discussions.BlogHer ATLANTA is the fifth stop on the six-city Reach Out Tour, and we’re looking forward to spending time with the many and varied “Hotlanta” bloggers. Details about the agenda, speakers, and sponsors coming soon. In the meantime, please sign up to receive the BlogHer Conference Newsletter and get announcements as they happen. Or sign up to receive our Conference RSS feed.
Who Should Attend?
BlogHer is open to anyone and everyone who considers themselves part of the blogosphere, and is particularly focused on highlighting the skills and talents of women who blog. All ages, ethnicities, genders, and levels of blogging experience are encouraged to attend.Additional Info:
- Every stop on the tour will feature a track specifically designed for new and beginning bloggers.
- The cocktail reception will take place on-site at the hotel.
- If you’re thinking about bringing your partner, spouse, or kids — great! If your partner is not interested in attending the programming with you but would like to join us for the cocktail parties, that ticketing option is available.
Fees:
BlogHer ATLANTA ‘08 costs $100 for the full day, and this includes admission to the cocktail reception.BlogHer will be staying on-site at the Georgia Tech Hotel and Conference center. If you’re interested in staying there as well, please call (800) 838-2060. Please note: We do not have a BlogHer group rate available at this venue.
Note: You will not be required to enter any billing information before you’ve had an opportunity to review and select from the various registration options; however, BlogHer cannot issue refunds.
About BlogHer:
BlogHer has developed one of the most influential communities by, for, about and of women who blog. BlogHer’s mission is to create opportunities for women bloggers to pursue education, exposure, community and economic empowerment through our online platforms and conferences.
More to come… must get back to work now.
Bullet points of truth
ETA: Now the title doesn’t make sense, because I changed my mind and got rid of the bullets.
Part of why I’m on the fence about BlogHer Atlanta? Well, aside from the $100 entry fee (which is totally fine of them to charge; I am NOT being one of those people who complains about anything that’s not totally free at the expense of someone else’s hard work), there’s also the fact that I’m just over a lot of these conferences.
Rusty and I talked about why on a podcast a while ago. They’ve become commercialized, but that’s not even the word. Cartoonized, maybe? Firefox spellcheck doesn’t know that word (but then it doesn’t know “spellcheck” either) but I think it’s the most apt. If I hear the word “conversation” again I may puke.
And I’m really not trying to be one of those too-cool-for-school assholes who blogs about why blogging sucks, or that kind of thing. I HATE that!
But look, here’s the truth. In addition to the cartoony, sales-pitchy bullshit, I don’t feel welcome at these conferences. With rare exception, I never really have – it just took me a while to admit it to myself, I guess. The BlogSavannah experience was a breakthrough, of course, but there have been so many other instances that I’ve lost count.
When you talk about sex, and you’re a woman, and you’re a tech geek, and you (gasp!) also talk about things other than sex (because OMG, people who aren’t ashamed about sex do other things in their lives, too)… well, let’s just say it doesn’t add up to a good combination, with a lot of people. There are some awesome people, sure. But they don’t tend to be the majority at these conferences. Which is one reason I created Sex 2.0 – to bring all those people together and none (or, well, very few) of the sucky ones!
Sometimes I wonder how much of me not feeling welcome is an accurate perception of reality, and how much is self-induced. Then I remember how good I am at reading people and situations, and that my intuition is almost always spot on, and that I always doubt it anyway, because somehow that seems like the proper thing to do (surely we must consider all angles, surely!) and heaven forfend, I would appear “selfish” if I didn’t.
I remember the guy guffawing at BarCamp Atlanta about Sex 2.0. I remember the stupid, predictable, un-funny, adolescent-level jokes. BarCamp Atlanta pretty much sucked all around, but that’s the stuff that stands out the most in my memory. Oh, and the hooker jokes. Those fucking guys joking about going down to 11th street and finding the hookers.
Here’s a secret. When you make a hooker joke – whoever you are – I hate you, right then and there. Even if generally, rationally, I know that most of the time you’re a “good person” – whatever that even means. When you do that, I hate you, and my eyes want to seer through you.
Oh and back to being a woman who talks about sex (bullet point above). Sometimes people seem incredulous that it’s still such a “big deal.” I want to ask where the fuck they’ve been, anyway. Last week, at Manuel’s, I overheard that conversation at the table behind us, carried on by supposed friends-of-friends. I didn’t know these people, but it didn’t matter. I’ve heard a million conversations like it before. Quote: “She was really weird, she talked about sex all the time.” Quote: “Yeah, I mean she was a total weirdo… she said if we went to this party, we’d be expected to have sex in front of people!” Just shove a dagger through my chest already. We’re back to square one.
Well, I should probably wrap it up and try to get some sleep. I feel very restless, but we’re going to Radial for breakfast, so I need to get my butt to bed.
One last thing – I feel the need to say here, too, that Elisa Camahort is awesome and I’m not trying to trash BlogHer or anything like that. I had so much fun hanging out with her at ConvergeSouth – she is just a nice, cool, down-to-earth person. And look at the super cool slide she made!
BlogHer Atlanta: October 21, 2008
Still not feeling up to writing a post of my own, and things are basically shit; but, here’s a repost from BlogHer:
If you can’t make it to BlogHer ‘08 in San Francisco this year, maybe you can join us in one of our SIX “Reach Out Tour” cities this fall? We’ll be condensing our annual event into one-day extravaganzas in Boston, DC, Nashville, Greensboro, Atlanta and New Orleans. And you can register now for any or all of them!
We’re still finalizing the various agendas, but you can expect each city’s sessions to feature fantastic speakers, relevant sessions, and a lot of local flair. Plus, we’ll have a track just for beginners (so if you know someone — your friend, sister, mother, grandmother, neighbor — who should be blogging if she just had the right tools and motivation, send her over!).
Read more about the Reach Out Tour on our official Conference Blog, or simply click on the city below to learn more about where, when, how much and how to register:
October 11 – BlogHer BOSTON
October 13 – BlogHer DC
October 16 – BlogHer NASHVILLE
October 18 – BlogHer GREENSBORO
October 21 – BlogHer ATLANTA
October 25 – BlogHer NEW ORLEANS
As of now, I’m on the fence about whether I’ll go. BlogHer ‘07 was a lot of fun, but I just haven’t decided about this Atlanta version. Not sure if I want to pay $100 to hang out with a lot of the same people I hang out with anyway. Fortunately, there’s plenty of time to decide.
Identity, and a million other half-articulated thoughts
Lately, Melissa keeps writing stuff that feels like something piercing my gut and brings a tear to my eye, and then I struggle to put into words what is resonating so deeply and why. Here’s the latest installment. And my rambling commences after the cut.
(more…)
Reflections on Sex 2.0, past and present
In an email thread with potential organizers of next year’s Sex 2.0, I said something that I felt was worth reposting here, as it kind of gives a basic idea of what my “vision” was with Sex 2.0. It can also be extrapolated to other causes/events/etc.
In response to Match’s question:
3. Did the conf pay for travel/boarding for any speakers?
I answered:
You’re funny! Unless you count Dacia staying at my place, nope.
On the one hand I wish we could’ve, but that would’ve taken a shit-ton more money than I even dreamed of being able to raise. I do feel very strongly that people deserve to be paid for their hard work, including speaking, presentations, etc. – and I resent the fact that oftentimes in “progressive” circles, it’s taken as a given that people will do things “pro bono,” or they’re seen as greedy or somehow bad if they expect compensation for their efforts.
On the other hand, since fundamentally this was an unconference, setting up a hierarchy of “speaker” vs. “not-speaker” defeats the purpose. There was no call for papers. Sessions did not have to be pre-approved. Basically if somebody wanted to lead a session, they said so, and sent me a description and I posted it on the web site. It was first come, first served.
So I would caveat my first statement (“on the one hand”) by pointing out that those expectations are reasonable in some circumstances and not in others. I feel like w/ Sex 2.0, there’s a real spirit of community and all of us working for a greater good – and recognizing that we DON’T get a lot of funding, bc we have to fight tooth and nail for what little we get bc of the stigma. I feel like there was passion behind Sex 2.0 that I’ve rarely seen elsewhere.
Y’all certainly don’t have to structure it as an unconference next year if you don’t want to. Seriously, you can and should do whatever you want! Personally I think the unconference model works for Sex 2.0 in maintaining and fostering the sex commons that Elizabeth Wood spoke about. To me it makes sense for Sex 2.0 to be a space for non-hierarchical, collaborative learning. We all have things to teach and things to learn.
Finally, I will caveat THAT by saying that while I really enjoy the unconference model, I think if taken too far it descends into unmanageable chaos. I’ve had a few people lecture me on why I shouldn’t call Sex 2.0 an unconference, since it doesn’t use the “open space” model. I think these people are, quite simply, assholes – and I welcome them to run their own sex conference if they’re so full of bright ideas. I just think asking people to travel across the country without SOME idea of what to expect in terms of sessions, participants, etc. is unrealistic. I think it works best to strike a balance between the two extremes – build a general framework of expectations, and let the content grow organically.