Being Amber Rhea

Income does not necessarily equal wealth. Is it fair for Warren Buffett’s secretary to pay the same or a higher tax percentage than he does? “Warren Buffet takes a salary (taxable @ 35%) of $150K but has net wealth of $50+ billion. Under BO’s tax plan, he gets a tax cut.” Getting rid of loopholes that allow this makes perfect sense. Punishing small businesspeople without his kind of money in the bank, without the ability to use tax lawyers to evade taxes – doesn’t.

I love that Octogalore discusses these issues which are so often overlooked in the feminist blogosphere. They are occasionally touched upon by the mainstream media but in an overly simplistic, reductive way, devoid of any analysis. And the reason I think they’re absent from the feminist blogosphere is too many people are afraid of looking like “capitalists” or whatever, and there’s a whole lot of hairshirt-wearing and self-flagellating and I’m just fed up with it.

I said something similar at Ren’s recently:

It just IRRITATES me. Someone’s gross income doesn’t tell the whole story, by a longshot. What if they have a ton of debt from putting themselves through school? What if most of their income goes toward taking care of a sick parent or child who needs medication, medical devices, nursing care, etc.? At the same time, the “artist” who makes (based on their W2, anyway) $20k a year might be living off inheritance or a trust fund, or mom and dad’s money in some other way. My point is, you just never know, and it’s not okay to assume.

No one responded. *shrug*

The school thing has always been a big pet peeve of mine. Someone whose parents paid for their college education and someone who paid for their own education through loans might make the same amount of money on paper, but their situations will be very different.

Oh and that reminds me of when I was in college and took a job at Baxter Street Books, and they paid minimum wage, and I asked the boss if I could have more hours, and she took me aside and said this wasn’t really a job for people who were actually trying to support themselves, it was more a job for kids with money to just have something to do. There was a girl who worked there who was my age (20) who had just had laser eye surgery. I felt like we came from different planets. Which I guess we did.

(Note: I don’t feel like getting into a big economic debate here. So if you want to go off about how horribly wrong I am, you can, but I’m not going to respond.)

Re: this Feministe post (which a friend emailed me, because as I mentioned, I’ve been taking a break from reading most blogs)…

I must rant as if no one is looking, briefly.

I’m fed up w/ this bullshit. FED UP. I am just sick of all this groupthink/lockstep mentality going on. And I’m sorry but I’ve always thought that the people who think socialism is so awesome are privileged in their OWN way (as much as I’m sick of the word “privilege” being thrown around so much, too…) because it’s like, you know what, I know what it’s like to NOT have money, and I know it’s not romantic or revolutionary or transgressive - it SUCKS. So for me, having money is empowering not to mention “empaychecking.” Not everybody has the luxury to worry about what the best economic system is when they have to put food on the table, ever think of that? Plus the same old thing I keep coming back to… WHY is having money BAD?? It’s what you do with that money that counts, and yeah, feeding your family is pretty damn awesome. If you also have enough money to help others outside your family? GREAT!! But serious change takes economic leverage, and if we constantly vilify anybody who has a certain amount of money, we’re going to shoot ourselves in the foot.

I’m fucking sick of it.

So there yo go. Cast me out, if you will. *shrug*

Creative Loafing completely misses the mark in Alyssa Abkowitz’s story about the mounting debt in the generation I’m a part of. I cannot describe how disappointed and pissed off I was when I read this story.

The article lost about 20 points right of the bat for using the phrase “Generation Me.” I had to shake my head and give that one another look, because I could’ve sworn someone had stolen my Creative Loafing and replaced it with a newspaper for old, disgruntled Republicans.

Then, the article profiles three people - the first of whom happens to be a fratty-looking white boy with a fauxhawk, who doesn’t care that he’ll be six-figures in debt when he finishes law school, because he absolutely must have name-brand clothing (and date auctions, for Christ sake).

Immediately after the introduction of this jackass, Abkowitz writes:

Phillips and his contemporaries will enter the adult world with the kind of economic baggage no previous generation has ever faced. They are part of what has become known as “Generation Me.” They’ve grown up with a sense of entitlement that’s set them up for failure as adults. And they’ve been indulged with a “gotta have it now” consumer appetite that’s translated into an unprecedented amount of debt before they’re even out of school.

Whoa!! Alarms going off in my head! Did Abkowitz even remotely consider a race or class analysis? Or is lumping all 20-somethings in with this one guy acceptable research by Creative Loafing’s standards?

The next two people profiled in the article approximate something much closer to the reality of most middle to lower class college students these days. But the casual reader will be a lot less likely to give them a fair shake, since the article started off with Whitey McPrivilege. The real issues are hinted at - for example, in the quote from Clark Howard about college being so much more expensive now, and fleeting remarks such as “the traditional safety net has been pulled out from under them” - but Abkowitz never scratches the surface.

This article was highly offensive to me, as someone who is a member of this so-called “Generation Me.” You’re goddamned right, I have a mountain of debt (but less than I would’ve had if I’d stayed at NYU, that’s for damn sure). But guess what, my debt isn’t from buying Polo shirts and going out drinking. I worked my ass off the entire time I was in college and grad school. I took out student loans to cover tuition and related expenses. I worked shit jobs trying to make enough money to pay rent. One summer, I took a job at a bookstore that paid exactly minimum wage, and when I asked the manager if I could work more hours, he took me aside and said that maybe this wasn’t the job for me. See, I was actually trying to support myself, whereas my co-workers included a perky 19-year-old talking about the Lasik surgery she was getting later that year and the teeth whitening she’d just had done, oh and she was going to need to take a few weeks off in July because she and some friends were backpacking through Europe.

How about getting a clue, Alyssa Abkowitz? Things are not the same as they were 30 years ago (as you should know, since you’re a member of “Generation Me” yourself). The problems with debt in the younger generation can’t be completely explained by rampant materialism. Maybe in a segment of the middle/upper class population, sure; but you’re treading on dangerous ground if you think that represents the experience of all young people. (Blackamazon wrote about this a few months ago, too.) This sense of “entitlement” you talk about? Sorry, not seeing it in myself or my friends; unless it was a sense of entitlement that made me take out credit card advances at exorbitant interest rates so that my phone or power wouldn’t get turned off.

You could’ve used this article to address the real issues: the fact that cost of living has increased while salaries have stagnated or decreased; the fact that education costs have ballooned while federal loan money has been repeatedly slashed and federal grant money is now practically nonexistant; the fact that credit card companies descend on college freshmen like vultures the instant they walk on campus; stricter bankruptcy laws, unless you happen to be in the upper echelon, in which case the laws are more lax. To counter that miserable Jean Twenge book, you could’ve cracked open Strapped by Tamara Draut (or if you’re too lazy to do that, here’s a handy chart of the main facts and figures in the book).You could’ve at least cut out Mr. Fauxhawk altogether and focused on the experiences of Juandalyn Coffen and Clayton English, who seem to actually have a foot in reality.

I don’t know what’s happened to Creative Loafing. Seems like lately they’re just interested in perpetuating myths like “Generation Me” with a bunch of vacuous soundbites and putting “man bites dog” stories on the cover.

Fuck. I got a notice in the mail from the IRS saying I owe $884 on my 2004 tax return. What the fuck?? I have no idea what that is about, but I do know that I don’t have $884 to throw at the goddamn IRS. Oh and what was really cherry about the notice was that it said, in bold, all-caps letters, YOU MUST RESPOND BY APRIL 19TH or I will face additional fees. Well I just got it today, jackasses… thanks a lot.

I called the number on the form and it took me about 20 minutes to get through all the menu options, listening to bullshit… I couldn’t even push 0 to get out of it. And then I was on hold. And I would probably still be on hold now if I hadn’t hung up because I couldn’t deal with it right now. I know what they’re doing with that shit. They’re trying to make it as difficult as possible for people, so that people will just send them a check and be done with it. So much for a government working for the people.

And that’s another thing… I’m feeling all Big Brother Is Watching Me now. Why me, and why now? As far as taxpayers go, I’m nobody. I’ve managed to work myself into the lower echelon of “the middle class,” with a mountain of debt behind me - just like thousands of other people, whom the government doesn’t give a shit about. When you think audits, you think of them going after the people who, you know, actually make enough money to have it make a difference. So why me?

I’m pissed, but really at this point I just feel beat and overwhelmed. I’m having a little pity party, but I’m going to have it for as long as I want, so fucking deal with it, because it’s my blog goddammit. Why has so much bad shit been happening lately? (Jenny and Niki will relate to that.) Just as an example, first there was all the shit w/ my dad and my family - which, btw, I’ll be in Augusta again this weekend - and now this.

I don’t know what to do. I have so much debt, I really think at this point that I’ll never get out of it. I work so hard - have been for years, ever since I was 18 really - and yet I still have piles of bills, I owe so much money to so many entities, my credit rating is fucked by now I’m sure, and now the fucking IRS is trying to tear me a new one too. What do I have to do? I’ve always played by the rules, I’ve never been a frivolous spender, I’ve always been so sensible and practical - some would say to a fault, but I say they’re irresponsible. Frustrated is an understatement for how I feel right now. I’m trying to remind myself that at least there’s some good - thank god I have Rusty; oh, and I do have internets in my apartment, so that’s good - but jesus, I just feel so beat. I want to punch something.

Really, I don’t know what I want to do. Maybe sleep for a long time. Or practice denial. I’d hire a lawyer but I don’t know what they could do, plus I can’t afford one anyway.

I’ll stop my verbal diarrhea now because it’s almost time for trivia. And I should probably clean myself up, it wouldn’t do to show up and have everyone see I’ve been fucking crying.

Patrick linked to this essay this morning. It’s kind of long, but well-written, so it’s a quick read.

After I read it, I felt… weird.

I think that, by and large, the working poor are treated like shit in this country. There’s the government shittiness, which is one thing; and then there’s the social shittiness, whereby people of even marginally higher “class” (whatever that means) look down upon janitors, etc. as if they’re not even human. Who the fuck taught them that it’s okay to treat people like that?

An extension of this is my belief/concern/suppressed freak-out that the socioecomonic situation of the U.S. is teetering on very wobbly legs. On the micro scale, think about it this way - most of us are not as far from the janitors of the world as we might like to think. It would take one personal crisis (serious illness, losing a job, wrecking a car, etc. ad naseum) to knock us flat on our asses. This is something I’ve had in my head for years now, starting in college, when I’d see certain students acting so high-and-mighty. It kind of made me want to punch them in the teeth.

So, part of my response to Perrin’s essay is, “Right on! Tell it like it is.” I think he is spot on when he says:

[A] fair number of them treated my cleaners and me as barely human, somehow beneath them. My theory was that if a worker in cube 6798 identifies with George Bush, he must believe that he’s someone he’s not– so it’s easier to dump on the Honduran woman who empties his garbage and dusts his computer. I’ve had insurance company receptionists and bank tellers speak to me as if I were a twelve-year-old. Clearly, they needed to feel superior to someone, and these people laid it on thick.

There’s the whole Fight Club “you are not your job” thing, with which I don’t disagree; additionally, there’s just having the common decency to be civil toward your fellow human beings. Why do so many people think they’re “better,” on some nonexistant scale of human worth, than anyone else?

But let’s not get off on a tangent. That was my first response to the Perrin essay. My second response was something a little deeper inside, something close to guilt. Not for anything I’d personally done. But guilt on a more theoretical level, guilt that I know I shouldn’t have, because it serves no constructive purpose. I’ve always had this “Why should I be happy/successful/whatever if other people aren’t?” complex; here’s just another manifestation.

There are people who have fallen on hard times. There are people who won’t be able to dig themselves out of the lower socioeconomic class no matter how hard they try, due to personal, social, and governmental circumstance. I feel badly for those people, and angry that such a huge divide can exist in a country like the U.S., where “hard work” can supposedly help you accomplish whatever you desire.

But, does this mean that I shouldn’t continue to form goals and actively pursue them? That I shouldn’t “dream big”? Of course not; but knowing the answer intellectually doesn’t get rid of the deep pang of knee-jerk guilt. I guess I should just keep reassuring myself that personally, I have nothing to feel guilty for; and that there’s nothing wrong with trying to climb to the top - just don’t shit on anybody on the way up.