Next weekend in the ATL: MondoHomo 2009!
I love this! MondoHomo, a five-day festival of awesome, is entering its third year, and it’s all organized by local activist Kiki Carr (you might recall Rusty and I interviewed her back in February 2007) who just blows me away with her talent and devotion. Does she never sleep? Maybe I’ll learn her secret because after MondoHomo, she and I are going to be collaborating on a new project for Atlanta; but stay tuned for that.
Here are all the details about MondoHomo; yeah, it’s a lot, this is five days of stuff, people! Rusty and I will definitely be there Saturday night for a the Film Love portion (hosted by Andy Ditzler, whom we also interviewed… fancy that); the rest is still up in the air for us. But if you are on the fence about whether you want to go, take the time to read below (detailed info after the jump) because there truly is something for everyone.
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Sex 2.0.2: coming soon
I’m tempted to start off w/ a long explanation of why I haven’t been blogging much lately, but I’ll save that for another time. What I want to mention now is that the second Sex 2.0 will be held in Washington, DC on May 9 (which also happens to be Rusty’s and my 4th fuckiversary; I think that’s a good omen). I can hardly believe it’s been almost a year since my dream of Sex 2.0 came to fruition! I’m not a part of the organizing team this time around, but everything is coming together and I can tell you there are some really amazing sessions lined up, including hands-on tutorials on podcasting and shooting video, discussions on identity, sexual commerce online, transparency, the sex commons, gendered implications of technology, erotica in the digital age, and my personal favorite: “How to Get Some at Cons.” Match has revamped the web site and it looks awesome. Register soon – the early bird rate ends on April 9. Those of us who were at Sex 2.0 last year can attest that it’s a damn good time. There is a block of rooms reserved at the hotel at a really good rate (the conference itself is taking place at a hotel this year). And there are some cool attendee-organized events coming together for the day before and after the conference. Join the Google group if you want to get involved and/or stay up to date on the latest developments. Hope to see you there in May!
March 25 in ATL: Legislate This!
I won’t be able to make it because it’s during work hours for me, but get yourself downtown on March 25 if at all possible!
This year, in partnership with the Center for Women at Emory we welcome Angela Davis as our keynote for Legislate THIS! With the expansion of the prison industrial complex into our communities, it is vital that we explore and address the impact the prison industrial complex has on our bodies, within families, and in our lives. The expansions of prisons and the increased surveillance and detention of women of color and queer people of color is a reproductive justice issue. Join us as we fight back and begin to lay the ground work to set a public policy agenda as well as organizing to build community power and strength!
Visit www.legislatethis.org * Email Paris at paris@sparkrj.org
Concerned about violent crime in ATL?
Then be sure to check out this event at Charis tonight!
Atlanta Transformative Justice Collaborative Dialogue
Thursday, March 12, 7:30-9:00pm
Over the past three years, a collaborative of Atlanta based organizers have been building a framework of transformative justice focused on transforming state, communal and interpersonal response to violence. From local neighborhood violence to international genocidal violence, from Gaza & the West Bank to intimate partner & family violence, the Atlanta Transformative Justice Collaborative (ATJC) seeks to transform the responses and conditions that perpetuate all forms of social control and violence. Join ATJC organizers Mia Mingus, Cara Page, Sonali Sadequee & Stephanie Guilloud at Charis as they discuss ways to engage communities through transformative justice and deepen cross-movement conversations within southern based strategies.
I just now found out about this, and as such won’t be able to make it tonight. But I can assure you these four ladies are all kinds of awesome, and the ATJC is the kind of organization I can get behind. I would encourage ATAC folks to attend and participate.
Feminism2.0, SoCon09, and Sex 2.0(.2!)
What events will I be attending over the next few months? Well I’ll tell you…
- Feminism2.0, February 2 in Washington, DC. I’m staying with Ren, woohoo! Watch out, we’ll be all sexee in our big coats and scarves! I’ll try to do some liveblogging. And I’ll try to keep the Twitterrhea to a minimum, which is easier for me than some because I don’t have an iPhone or Blackberry.
- SoCon09, February 7 at Kennesaw State University. Rusty and I went to the first one in 2007 but missed last year’s, regrettably. I’m supposed to be leading a session but I haven’t heard anything else about it from the organizers. Stay tuned.
- And of course Sex 2.0, in its second year, the organization effort being headed up by Match et al. It’ll be in DC on May 9, which also happens to be Rusty’s and my 4th anniversary. Talk about a testament to the power of sex and social media!
Social Media Club ATL January meeting
One week from today, I’ll be here; will you? (note: link is a Facebook page)
SMC ATL: Online Identity and Buzzword Bingo
When: Thursday, January 8, 7:00pm – 8:30pm
Where: Manuel’s Tavern – North Avenue RoomThanks to Amber Rhea for leading the conversation and bingo game! Bring your bingo dauber and POV on these identity topics!
- Is your online identity different from your IRL identity?
- What does it mean to “manage your online identity”?
- Are there any off-limits topics on blogs? Who decides?
- Rethinking the personal/professional dichotomy and tearing down the walls of compartmentalization: yea or nay?
If you would like to add to the topics or join Amber in a panel format – please contact Peter or Tessa about your interest.
January sponsors needed! Please contact us if you can offer event food and beverage support.
Like the description says, if you’re interested in doing a panel-ish format, get in touch w/ Tessa or Peter (or me!) in the next day or two.
Transgender Day of Remembrance: Candlelight vigil in Atlanta
November 20, 2008 is the 10th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance. There will be memorials, vigils, marches, and other events held around the world, including a candlelight vigil at the Georgia State Capitol.
“Community United for the Greater Cause” – Candle Light Vigil
When: November 20, 2008 at 8:00 p.m.
Where: On the front steps of the Georgia State Capitol Building, 206 Washington Street, Atlanta, GA
Contact: Tracee McDaniel, Executive Director, JCT
Phone: 678-591-3481Juxtaposed Center for Transformation, Incorporated (JCT), Atlanta Gender Explorations (AGE), Transgender Individuals Living Their Truth (T.I.L.T.T.), Feminist Outlawz and YOUTHPRIDE are collaborating to organize TDOR, the national day of remembrance that memorializes transgender and gender non-conforming individuals that were murdered due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice.
More from Southern Voice and the official Transgender Day of Remembrance web site.
Who I am is good enough.*
This morning I find myself fighting off the symptoms of the depression I’ve lived with for nearly two decades now.
I need to resolve, once and for all, FOR REAL, to stop going to things that make me feel like I have to act like someone I’m not in order to be accepted.
I need to stop thinking, “Maybe this time it’ll be different from the five thousand other times when it was all the same.”
When I lived in Texas, my ex told me I wouldn’t meet people if I just sat at home all the time. She said this very derisively. She said I had to “go out” if I wanted to meet people.
My closest friends, who really know me and care about me and love me, never say things like this. I know a red flag when I see it.
Never mind that that’s not in my nature, and I argued, what’s the point in forcing myself to do something that I wouldn’t naturally do only in the name of “meeting people?” I’ll just end up meeting people who I don’t really mesh with on anything more than a very superficial level.
But I tried it. I took a ceramics class. I went to a “new in town” meet-up. I went to a party thrown by a coworker’s coworker (yes this makes sense, just trust me). All of these things sucked.
And what happened when I moved to Atlanta? Sitting around at home is EXACTLY how I met people – and that translated into GOING OUT and spending time with the people I met, in real life. Thanks to blogs, I met: Jen, Thomas, Nikki, Alyssa, Joseph, BJ, Sherry, Grayson, of course Rusty, and many more, too numerous to list. And thanks to them I met people they knew – and on and on it went. I already knew a few people from grad school (Garrett, Josh, Mary, etc.) so that helped as well. And thanks to sitting around at home reading blogs, I reconnected with Dacia after four years and with Dipika after nearly ten years.
When my ex said, after I’d moved back to Atlanta and started hanging out with bloggers IRL, “I think you take this blog thing a little too seriously” – that was another big red flag.
This morning Rusty said you can’t have the same expectations of things like the tweet-up as you can with your friends, because those people won’t act like your friends, because they’re strangers. But if that’s true then why did I never get this feeling of having to be someone I’m not when I went to the very first blogger trivia night before I had ever met Rusty, Jen, Nikki, Thomas, Tony Simon, Joseph, Mae and whoever else was there in person before? Why did I never get that feeling from any of them at any of the get-togethers we had, even when I didn’t know them on more than a very casual basis? And why would I stick around hoping that the people who I am getting a bad feeling from will suddenly change their tune after they know me? What does that say about them if they act so completely different around a “stranger” versus a friend?
These are rhetorical questions, of course, but once again it all comes back to trusting my intuition. Whenever I trust my intuition, things go well; and when I ignore it and think, “Well, maybe that’s not fair… maybe this will be different, I just need to give it a chance…” things go poorly. I should know this by now. I do know this by now. And yet I keep fucking it up! I need to stop that, for real this time. Let’s call this an early New Year’s Resolution for 2009.
There’s nothing wrong with who I am, the way I am. I was tempted to say last night made me feel like a loser, but that’s not entirely accurate. I do not believe that I’m a loser, at all. But certain environments make me feel like I’m being put into a box and that if I don’t act differently than my true self, then I’m not wanted. If I don’t make a good prop then I might as well go away.
I should know all too well by now that I don’t need to give people the time of day who have a problem with who I am. So now I just need to stick to my guns and not let the self-doubt creep in. I keep coming back to what Dacia said on Twitter a few days ago (can’t find the actual quote now), something like, “I just hate feeling like my personality isn’t a good way to be.”
Too bad I don’t have any Klonopin here at work because I might need it today, just to get back on my feet after reeling a bit from last night and wondering if anyone understands. I felt very alone and I tried to talk to Rusty before I went to bed but I still didn’t feel 100% better. I can’t let this get me down. I need to remember that the people who really matter do understand. That truth is what I need to stay focused on.
—
* You know what, it’s more than good, it’s GREAT. The power of self-talk, right?
Update: Taking a quick glance into my archive, I see that I wrote about this very topic five years ago almost to the date, when I was living in Texas and feeling that pressure I mentioned above. I really need to listen to myself!
Save the date: Sex workers’ rights march in DC, 12/17/08!
December 17, 2008 is the 6th annual International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. Not sure if we will be having an event in Atlanta again this year – but SWOP-USA has organized a national march happening in Washington, DC!
National March for Sex Workers Rights
Dec. 17, 2008, 5:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.Meet at Franklin Square (14st NW & Eye ST NW) near McPherson Square Station for rally and speeches.
March Gathers at noon.
March ends at The White House (1600 Pennsylvania AVE) about 3 blocks away.Join the Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP-USA) as we march on Washington to demand rights for all sex workers! On Wednesday, December 17, 2008, advocates from across the nation will converge to mark the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. Together, we will take a stand for justice, dignity, and the freedom to do sex work safely and in dignity. We are calling for an end to the unjust laws, policing, shaming and stigma that oppress our communities and make us targets for violence. At this vibrant event, we will both honor the lives lost in 2008 and celebrate our vital movement. Some housing is available for out-of-towners – consider staying on to attend our big party that weekend. On Dec. 17th, SWOP-USA and its allies in harm reduction and social justice welcome your support as we march for sex workers rights!
Broken record 2.0
In some ways I wish I had gone to the Network Stars Atlanta Seminar Tuesday night. I am impressed that so many people (175!) showed up – once again, just goes to show that Atlanta isn’t some piddly little second-tier place just because we’re not New York or San Francisco. I’ve heard lots of positive reactions about the event. But reading J’s post should make it obvious why I’m glad I didn’t go.
Am I cynical? I don’t know, but it’s just that these are the perennial questions – how much do you reveal? what is “professional?” what are the risks? etc. – and I’ve been in conversations about them too many times to count over the last several years. I feel like a broken record with this stuff – how many times can I say the same thing? Is it worth it to keep saying it? I get irritated with others for not “getting it” and irritated with myself for being so repetitive.
It’s not the fact that the questions keep being raised that irritates me so much; it’s the way in which they are typically presented: very one-sided, with lots of presumptions and suppositions and pre-conceived notions that go unchallenged. As I said to Toby in an email, “I think the ways in which personal and business presence intersect online is a fascinating and relevant topic.” The dynamic during and feedback from my BlogOrlando session shows that presenting this topic as more than just the superficial clichés of “personal vs. professional” encourages some great dialogue and critical thinking. It’s the interpersonal aspect of social media that is so much more interesting to me than “how do you position yourself in the market” and “how do you install WordPress.” They call it social media for a reason, after all.
As for Geoff Livingston, one thing that really annoys me about getting into it with people like him is that we inevitably end up talking about two different things. He’s over there at J’s blog saying he’s a private business owner and he’s allowed to run his business however he wants. Well, duh! Nobody is saying he doesn’t have the right to run his business how he wants! I don’t know where anybody has ever said that. What a lot of people are saying, though, is that hey, maybe that’s not the best way to run your business, and it might be worth considering other options, because you might be shooting yourself in the foot.
Maybe I shouldn’t have left that snarky* comment toward him at J’s blog, but I just couldn’t help myself, and who cares anyway? It’s not like he’s going to consider me an “equal” in any sense of the word anyway – I have POLE DANCING PHOTOS and TALK ABOUT SEXUALITY and USE THE F-WORD, for heaven’s sake! (Shades of Dave Mastio.) Toby had graciously attempted to introduce us via email, after I inquired about who spearheaded the Tuesday night event and whether they might be interested in presenting my defunct BlogHer Atlanta panel topic. I doubt I’ll get a response or that he would be interested, so it’ s not like I’m “burning a bridge” or anything. I’m used to that kind of preemptive dismissal by now, after nearly seven years of blogging. It never ceases to dishearten me, though.
I absolutely agree with Ellie that my panel topic needs to be presented in a space that is not already coded as sex-positive. That’s how real shifts in perspective happen – getting outside the echo chamber (a term I don’t like, but I’m writing this quickly), engaging with people and presenting them with viewpoints they might not have previously considered. That’s what was so great about my BlogOrlando session.
So, I’m still looking for a space – or spaces, plural! – for that discussion. But if I don’t find it, I’ll just keep doing what I’ve always done: make my own space. One of the greatest, most transgressive powers of social media, after all, is that we can all speak our truths with our own voices and not be beholden to someone controlling, with an iron fist or a red pen, what we can and cannot say.
* Aside: did you know that “snark” is a contraction of “snide” and “remark?” I recently found that out. Makes total sense!