Local TV fame
When I was in Augusta last weekend, my mom dug out a tape from the 80s where she’d recorded some things of familial significance. I hadn’t watched it in years, but when I saw it, I knew immediately that this stuff would have to go on YouTube.
First up is my 30 seconds of fame on local television in 1986 (or it might have been 1987; I can’t remember for sure). My parents knew the guy who owned this piano shop and he asked us to be in a commercial. I remember we did several takes. I also remember complaining to my mom that I was too old to say “Mommy” and “Daddy,” and she explained to me that actors and actresses often play characters who are younger. That satisfied me.
Next is an Augusta local news segment from the mid 80s. My parents are in the B-roll of Maxwell’s for a few seconds toward the very end, around the 1:04 mark. It’s funny for a number of obvious reasons (80s hair, 80s attire, etc.) but also because it shows just how little local news has changed in the past 20 years.
Finally, my dad’s winning chicken recipe. Wait, let me explain: In the 80s, “Midday on 12″ was a program that came on at noon on Channel 12 in Augusta. They had a segment called “Lookin’ at Cookin’” where viewers could submit recipes, and a winner was chosen each month. My dad’s honey-baked chicken recipe was the winner one month in 1984. He won a set of really cheap pots that we ended up giving away to someone.
Aside: I love these two ladies’ Southern accents!
I also want to give a plug for Affordable Video Solutions on W. Peachtree. Originally we were going to digitize the video at home, because Rusty has one of those converter boxes to connect the VCR to his computer. But our VCR tried to eat the tape. So we took it to AVS and they fixed the tape (it wasn’t actually damaged; they just had to wind it back into the housing) and converted it to DVD. They were very friendly and fast, and the price for the conversion was $29.95. I definitely recommend them if you need anything like that.
ETA: Ha, the chicken recipe video is already the top hit on Google for "midday on 12" augusta.
Bag of quotes
I have another long-ass post in progress, but in the meantime I am amused by my header quotes database and, since this is my blog, I’m going to post ALL OF THEM here now. I’m highly amused; perhaps you will be, as well. And if not, that’s okay too, because I AM AMUSED!
4 “I am a responsible, adult woman, and I’ll not be shamed for it.” Ren
5 Making the baby Jesus cry since 2002.
6 “It’s like seven minutes in heaven, only it’s five hours in hell.” Brent
7 “Now all I need is a room with a pole in it.” Remy Ma
8 A blog from the gynocentric angle.
9 “Have I changed? Or have I just awoken to who I always was?” Ryann Rain
11 Sharpening my Fuck You stick since 2002.
12 Nice girls don’t.
13 “Bloggers are just like everybody else except that we admit what we do.” Figleaf
14 “I feel like you guys are the kinky authority figures.” Joseph
15 “Trust the Danes. They are a wise and comfortable people.” Jenny
16 “I live my life like I’m reading my own biography.” Of Montreal
17 “It is one of the great superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.” Voltaire
18 “The older I get, the more I realize most of what I grew up with was bullshit.” Rusty
19 Using my communist tools to silence the truth since 2002.
20 “Use of expletives to get a point across only serves to make women in general look uneducated and hysterical.” Dumbass commenter
21 “The future is here. It’s just not evenly distributed yet.” William Gibson
22 “In spite of it all, you’re still here, you’re a survivor. And if you’re anything like I think you are, you survive in spite of yourself.” N.P.
23 Just another malicious feminist.
24 Filled to bursting with obvious indecency.
25 A natural, zesty enterprise.
26 It takes talent, and biting.
27 “I feel like I’m in a Talking Heads song or something.” Joseph
28 “You’re running a blog, not a democracy.” Rusty
29 “You fucked the suburbs out of me.” Of Montreal
30 “I am extraordinary, if you’d ever get to know me”. Liz Phair
31 “Listen here young lady, all that matters is what makes you happy.” Liz Phair
32 “I think we’re a bit past absurd.” Jenny
33 “Hell hath no fury like a blogger scorned.” Dacia
34 “Just what I need, another charming gay man in my life.” Jenny
36 “Not every short-haired feminist you meet at Pride is a lesbian.” Shelby
37 “I hate how lunch with us always ends with action items.” Ryan
38 “A ‘nuculer’ threat is one from a Middle Eastern country.” Brent
39 “Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.” H.G. Wells
40 “When they tell you you’re going to hell, you’re probably on the right track.” David
41 “Never let last night dictate your today.” Brent
42 “RSS can make the Internet your bitch.” Terri Lynn
45 “You don’t have to be defensive if you see imaginary bugs in the middle of the night.” Rusty
46 “Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn reverence for life until we learn reverence for sex.” Havelock Ellis
47 “You can’t control the length of your life, but you can control the width and depth.” Anonymous
48 “If having a hysterectomy would keep you from murdering another human being, I’d gladly pay for you to have it done.” Crazy commenter
49 “I just fucking love that it’s when I stop trying to be coy and whorish that I come across as such.” Jenny
50 Exercise, Atlanta, and anal sex: three things I’m glad I didn’t write off.
51 “Just fuck me in the ass with a football bat already.” BL
52 “You might not always see the ripples you create, but it’s important to know that they are there.” Niki
53 “I fear South Carolina more than I fear Hamas, and I’m not kidding even a little bit.” Tony
54 “I would love to be an ethical version of Karl Rove.” Jenny
55 “I love that I almost have a Masters degree and it has led me to chauffeuring balloons around.” Niki
56 “I hate raisins. I don’t even understand them.” Rusty
57 “Get a goddamn sense of humor, for fucking crying out loud.” Dooce
59 “I own the fact that I am human and have had human experiences.” Sherry
60 “Trying to stop things that cause us pleasure, and cause nobody any pain, is just to take too much joy out of life.” Sage
61 “Someone give me a penis so that I don’t sound like a Feminazi.” Sassywho
63 “Everything is a work in progress. Otherwise, it’s just old news.” Justin Kownacki
64 “Misogyny deserves no shield to hide behind.” Deep Feminist
65 “I am sex, I am my body, and my sex, my mind and my body have never been separate.” Kochanie
66 “Stop trying to act like you’re relevant.” NRB
67 “We don’t always know what we think we know, and in fact, often we don’t know shit.” Kim
68 “Intimacy lives in the heart and head, not the crotch.” Renegade Evolution
69 On the move and eroding the moral fabric of this country since 2002.
71 Pulling numbers out of my opinion hole since 2002.
72 “The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame.” Rod Steiger
75 “We don’t have to trip over our liberalism here.” Octogalore
76 “One reader’s crap is another reader’s lifeline.” J. Brotherlove
77 “No web page is ever going to really be able to capture your humanity.” Rachel Kramer Bussel
78 Murdering innocent children in order to obtain sexual gratification since 2002.
79 Why not? It gives us something to do!
80 “I still stand for something, even on my knees.” Ren
81 “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” T.S. Eliot
82 “That tattoo on my arm? It’s Sanskrit for ‘Tee hee, I love dick.’” Kim
83 “I’m not your bitch, don’t hang your shit on me.” Madonna
84 “We need to be able to feel good about certain achievements without falling on our swords every five seconds.” Octogalore
85 “Why do these people have to be so friggin’ predictable?” Queer Dewd
86 “You’d rather sit in your safe little hole and sneer, proud of how smart you sound.” Dave M.
87 “We’ve got two lives, one we’re given and the other one we make.” Mary Chapin Carpenter
88 “A little risk in the name of desire and self-satisfaction is quite different from developing false consciousness.” AWB
90 Not a Political Ass Virgin.
91 Professional blog warrior ready for action.
92 Goddess of social media cool / Free speech Nazi
93 “Most liberals are cowards who aren’t interested in real debate.” Shelby’s troll
94 I’m trouble.
95 “Accountability. It’s a bitch.” Jenny
96 “My vagina does not contain a magic wellspring of political solidarity, thank you.” Dora
97 “I’m such a fucking lady.” Remy Ma
98 “Physics makes us all its bitches.” Of Montreal
99 “If God gave us the imagination then it would be rude not to use it.” Rootietoot
100 “Being able to separate [sex and intimacy] is most likely associated with some deep scar in your unconscious psyche.” Crazy commenter
101 “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” Eleanor Roosevelt
102 “If the answer isn’t violence, neither is your silence.” PWEI
103 “The peaches more than make up for the Baptists.” Rootietoot
104 “No person is your friend who demands your silence.” Alice Walker
105 “So you can make me come, that doesn’t make you Jesus.” Tori Amos
106 If I can’t pole dance, it’s not my revolution.
107 “One man’s bukakke is another woman’s shibari.” j. brotherlove
108 “A little cleavage goes a long way. A lot of cleavage goes pretty much anywhere.” Jenny
109 “The gap between what we assume people do sexually and what they actually do is enormous.” Alfred Kinsey
110 “I can’t change the world / But I can change the world in me.” U2
111 “I wanna be cool, tall, vulnerable and luscious” Liz Phair
112 “Yes I know what you think of me, you never shut up” Tori Amos
113 May trigger.
114 Not conducive to freedom.
115 Humorless feminist babykiller.
116 “It’s nice to be liked, but it’s better by far to get paid.” Liz Phair
Coversation with my grandmother
Gran: “Did you hear who McCain picked for Vice President… he picked that Canadian woman…”
Me: “You mean Alaskan?”
Gran: “What did I say?”
Me: “You said Canadian. She’s from Alaska.”
Gran: “Oh yes. That’s right. She’s supposed to be some kind of governor…”
All are welcome
Spotted in Decatur last weekend:
In case you were wondering about that “heteronormativity” word
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this before, but I just stumbled upon it again tonight and I feel compelled to post it.
The Heterosexual Questionnaire
A few choice outtakes:
What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
…
Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
…
A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?
…
Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?
Text message of the day
Or really, of the month.
Since he’ll be driving the truck I need him to be the body double for the bomber. And wear the mullet wig lol
From Miss Debris Blanche.
Repost from my Tumblr, thus scoring me another point on the checklist!
I usually hate Gawker but this is hilarious and so true:
Quiz: Are You An Online Jackass?
I IMed Rusty the URL and told him I marked it for him in del.icio.us. I’m surprised that wasn’t on the list!
LOLself
Via Ren, I see there’s a new meme in town!
It’s Jack’s brainchild (although one could argue Kim’s been doing it for months).
I’m on a mission. People have to do this. There is no escape. LolBaby. For realsies. The meme is you find an embarrassing baby picture of you, and you caption it! On Icanhascheezburger.com.
So here’s mine:
Update: Okay so I forgot that in lolspeak, “Iz” often translates as “I’s” – as in, “I’s in your [blank], [blank]ing your [blank].” But in my photo, I meant it as “is.” “Is not cheeseburger.” Get it? ‘Cause I’m eating a washcloth? I thought it was obvious… but just in case, there you go. Never mind. I updated it.
Walgreen’s vibrator
…and it’s on clearance!
(Texted to me from Miss Debris Blanche.)
Meme infiltration
A collection of photos documenting internet meme-age slowly infiltrating meatspace:*
* I can’t read that term without thinking of porn.