Day 3
Well, I’ve made it to day 3 of the juice fast! I’ve been pleasantly surprised with how normal I’ve felt this whole time. I haven’t felt hungry, and I haven’t gotten any of those horrible stomach cramps that I’d anticipated. I admit that the colon cleaning-out seems to be minimal, but perhaps my expectations were too high (or maybe I just haven’t junked up my system very much?) Even though I haven’t felt hungry, I have been getting cravings for food – just because of the taste. Sam, Ryan, and Brent are all still in, too. We were planning to break the fast tonight at Houlihan’s with some salads, but now they say they might not go, so… Brent and I are probably going to have some soup in about an hour, to start easing ourselves back into the world of solid foods. Then I’ll have a salad at trivia.
Oh, and I drank an Epsom salt solution last night. Really you’re supposed to do that on the first day of the fast (as Brent did). Anyway, that helped to “get things moving”, but still was anti-climactic. Sam drank some this morning (we had to make a quick field trip to my apartment to get some for him).
On another note… I need some way to incorporate my new blog subtitle, “Making the Baby Jesus Cry Since 2002″ into my header design. But I want to keep the quote of the day, too. Thoughts?
No Unifying Theme
I find myself in the odd conundrum of not having much to say. On the juice fast front, things are fine. I haven’t felt very hungry, overall. These Bolthouse Farms juices are awesome. I did have some cravings last night (pizza… Chinese food… mashed potatoes… salad…) but I survived. I must say, though, I’m kind of disappointed that I haven’t seen any, ahem, “fruits of my labor” yet. If I go all 3 days and nothing out of the ordinary happens, I’m going to be pissed.
Observation: there are some weird people in the world. They think that if you swear a lot (again, “a lot” being a relative term), you must not be a nice person. What’s up with that?
Here’s something that annoyed me yesterday: twice I tried to complete the online Direct Loans consolidation application, and both times it crapped out on me. The first time, I saw it trying to run a script when I pressed the submit button, but nothing happened – this was in Firefox, and I thought, “Oh come on now, is this some stupid thing that only works in IE?” So I tried it in IE later, and got “Page Not Found” on the very last page. Gah! So I guess I have to call them. How archaic.
I know this is excrutiatingly boring. So, I will give you some links to more interesting stuff to read:
- Patrick points out LGF’s latest foray into idiocy.
- I wrote more about sex and responsibility here (yes, that is a comment, within this very blog).
- Anybody else want to get in on Garrett’s discussion about living wage? (I still need to respond to his latest comment…)
- Alley Rat has another awesome post about a bunch of goddamn bass-ackwardsness. This is sure to raise the hackles of the usual reactionaries with their “any hint of women’s autonomy will cause my penis to shrivel up and die!” mentality. Aww, the poor white man feels threatened! Like I said: awesome.
But seriously. About that last link… I hate, hate, hate these wingnuts! I know hate is a strong word but I don’t mind using it for these assclowns (or Donald Rumsfeld – but that’s another story). Let’s take a look at this bit in particular, from the Pandagon post on the same subject (also worth reading):
Wisconsin State Rep. Dan LeMahieu, R-Oostburg, introduced this bill based on the belief that “dispensing birth control and emergency contraceptives leads to promiscuity.”
You know what, Dan? You can believe whatever you want. You can believe that babies come from storks, or that little fairies live inside your head and tell you what to do, or that two plus two equals five. That doesn’t make it true, and it certainly doesn’t make it a basis for passing a law. (As to the “promiscuity” claim, we won’t mention all the studies that have shown exactly the opposite to be true.) Here’s some news for you: you can’t just have laws based on your warped worldview, because guess what, not everybody out there shares it. If that’s what this fine country were all about, then I’d like to propose a law banning wingnuts like Dan LeMahieu from participating in government. But, alas, he has a right to be a wingnut, even an elected wingnut; and I have a right to take the Pill, fer Christsake.
And so, we’ll end this long, rambling post with some great wordsmithery from Alley Rat:
The guy who had this fantastic idea, Republican State Rep. Dan LeMahieu, thinks that if college sluts have access to birth control, or info about birth control, they’ll be spreading it all over town. And by “it”, of course, I mean the pussy that apparently rightfully belongs to the State, or maybe to Dad, until he gives it away to the husband. He says “dispensing birth control and emergency contraceptives leads to promiscuity”. So, get raped by a frat boy (terrible stereotype alert!) and want emergency contraceptives so you can avoid an agonizing experience of rape pregnancy? Sorry! You shouldn’ta worn that short skirt to the party.
Alright! Back to work now! [whipcrack]
Update: Apparently, the crazy Wisconsin bill applies only to EC. Here’s the actual bill (PDF). But really folks… given the current climate, can regular ol’ birth control pills be far behind? If I weren’t so broke at the moment I’d send another check to NARAL just to make a point. Harumph.
So far…
…I feel normal. I don’t feel hungry. The Bolthouse Farms juices were a good call. I’ve had two of those today, and am almost finished with my second Smartwater. It’s weird because, it’s lunchtime, and even though I’m not hungry, I feel like I should be doing something – going to get food just out of habit. I will admit, though… Pat’s burrito from Moe’s is smelling pretty good from the cubicle next door.
I wonder if I should make a separate “Juice Fast” category.
Waxin’ and Juicin’
First of all, I survived The Waxing unscathed. (Okay, slightly scathed; but that was to be expected.) TL and I agreed that we’d both anticipated a seering, unbearable, “we’re all going to die” type of pain, so when it wasn’t that bad, we were pleasantly surprised. For thirty bucks, I kind of wish they’d taken off more hair, but what can you do. Next time, we’re doing the Brazilian – just to see what the big damn deal is. TL is my partner in “let’s try anything once” these days.
On to news related to day 2 of the pre-fast (or day -1 of the fast). There really isn’t much to tell. I’ve felt normal all day. I feel kind of tired right now, but that’s probably just because I got up early on a Sunday. I’ve eaten some cantaloupe, watermelon, strawberries, a banana, and a Jello fruit cup; and TL and I had lunch at Doc Green’s, where we each got a big ol’ salad.
I went to Whole Foods tonight and stocked up on portable-sized Bolthouse Farms juices and SmartWater. I plan to take several of these to work with me tomorrow in a small cooler.
That’s all for now. Don’t worry, I promise to write about other stuff besides just the juice fast during the next three days.
Day 1 (or -2?) Recap
The first full day of the pre-fast is coming to a close (at… almost 1:00 in the morning). First of all, I’ll be straight and admit it: I cheated by having a slice of pizza at Fellini’s for lunch. So sue me.
But the rest of the day (and last night – I started early) I stuck to the plan. In addition to the pizza slice, here’s what I ate today:
- Cubed cantaloupe
- Cubed watermelon
- 2 bananas
- A few raspberries
- Dried apricots
- 1 Jello fruit cup
- Field green salad w/ tomatoes and Bosc pears (raspberry vinaigrette dressing)
- Brussels sprouts
… and I’ve been drinking a ton of juice.
Observations so far:
- I don’t feel hungry. (Like I said, I eat a lot of this stuff on a daily basis anyway.)
- Lots of interesting rumblings and guglings have been heard from my stomach.
- I have gas. I stink.
- I pooped 3 times today.
- I have kind of a weird taste in my throat. I can’t imagine that this could be related to the pre-fast, but you never know. But it’s only been one day, for crying out loud.
- I still can’t paint my fingernails without messing them up due to impatience. (Oh, that’s unrelated, my bad.)
That’s pretty much it. I wonder if any of this is psychosomatic?
Other (off-topic) notes:
- Only two more chapters left in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – but don’t worry, there will be no spoilers from me.
- Charles’s blog/message board hybrid is coming along nicely, although I’ve only been able to work on it sporadically.
So there you have it.
Oh, and as Pat mentioned here, in response to the fast he has embarked upon a “slow” (or, he’s talkin’ the talk, at least). This involves eating lots of wonderful foods like hamdogs and Lutherburgers, and finishing it off by shoving a few hotdogs up one’s ass.
The Beginning
And so it begins: the juice fast pre-fast.
The fast itself begins on Monday. As of this afternoon, Sam, Brent, and Ryan are all still in. I think we might put money on it (a la the Seinfeldian “contest”) so that if anyone drops out before the allotted three days, they have to pay the remaining contenders a small sum. Or maybe not, maybe we’ll keep it purely friendly. Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself!
This weekend, in anticipation of three days of nothing but juice and water, I will be attempting to prepare my body by eating only fruits and vegetables. I made a quick run to Publix after work, and I’m stocked: watermelon, strawberries, raspberries, cantaloupe, dried apricots, red potatoes, field green salad, tomatoes, peach-in-strawberry-gel fruit cups, Bosc pears, baby carrots, broccoli, Brussels sprouts. (Dammit! Why didn’t I get any peaches??) My typical daily diet is comprised of a lot of these items anyway, so it shouldn’t be too hard. (Famous last words.)
Oh yes, I will be blogging the hell out of this whole process. Expect, at the very least, daily updates on my mental stability and the degree to which my body hates me at any given moment. Be forewarned: in the days to come, this blog may or may not include descriptions of what has emerged from my colon (if anything interesting does emerge). But seeing as how the detox post was so popular, perhaps that’s what you people want.
I admit to being a little nervous about the fast. I know how cranky I can get when I’m hungry – and I’m also acutely aware of the horrible stomach cramps that attack me if I go too long without eating. I’m betting there will be some of those. But, hopefully I won’t feel hungry too much of the time; I’ll just make sure to be constantly ingesting juice or water.
Anyway, mostly I am excited and eager to see what the outcome of all this will be. Oh, and let’s not forget (on an unrelated note) that TL and I are getting our nether regions waxed on Sunday; we’ll see if it’s blogworthy.
As a co-worker said today, “Wow, there’s a lot going on down there.”
Detox
I have a new obsession. -Well, obsession is a strong word, with negative connotations. A more appropriate word would be preoccupation.
A few weeks ago at Houlihan’s, Brent got to talking about a friend of his who had done this detoxification fast, which involved drinking only juice and salt water for several days. I became very interested and wanted to know all the details. Then I forgot about it for a few weeks.
Somehow the topic came up again Friday at lunch, and I got all interested again. I started looking for information on the internet. I’m not going to post any links, because unfortunately most of the sites I came across seem very hippie-woo-woo. (Well, okay, here’s an article from a prominent health site with which I have no affiliation; it’s about three years old, though). But I am not deterred. Ryan, Brent, Sam, and I decided that we’d all do a Detox Weekend at the same time (“…and blog about it,” I joked). I wanted to do it within the next few weeks, but Ryan reasoned that doing it at the end of summer would be best. His rationale is good – people tend to indulge more over the summer. (The beginning of a new year would also be a good time, since people tend to indulge over the holidays as well.) We settled on doing it in October, “just in time for [my] birthday.” :P
In the meantime, however, I am eager to get in some form of bodily cleansing. Maybe it’s psychological, but I do feel kind of, um, “junked up,” for lack of a better term. So, I have decided to get a colonic. (Which makes me think of Margaret Cho, and her bit about “getting [her] first colonic.”) I’ve been reading about it all morning (er, early afternoon) on the internet. Perhaps I should wait until another payday has passed, but I am impatient. One session costs $75-$85, depending on where you go – I should be able to handle that without it breaking me.
So, tomorrow I’ll be calling to make an appointment with a Certified Colon Therapist (ha!). On an unrelated note, I’m also considering getting my first-ever bikini wax. This has been part 2 of an ongoing series, “Way Too Much Information.”