Just because.
(This time from Under the Pink.)
Father says bow your head
Like the Good Book says
Well I think the Good Book is missing some pages
Gonna lay down
Gonna lay down
And when my hand touches myself
I can finally rest my head
And when they say take of his body
I think I’ll take from mine instead
I downloaded Little Earthquakes tonight. I have the cassette somewhere, but I’m not going to take the time to find it and then try to import it to my computer somehow. Lots of memories coming back… it’s weird (and it sounds cliché and emo to say) how music can hold so many visceral memories, much like certain scents.
He said you’re really an ugly girl
But I like the way you play
And I died
But I thanked him
Can you believe that
Sick, sick
Holding on to his picture
Dressing up every day
I got something to say you know
But nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me
You never shut up
Yeah I can hear that
But what if I’m a mermaid
In these jeans of his
With her name still on it
Hey but I don’t care
‘Cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear my voice
And it’s been here
Silent all these years
Each is relevant for a different reason, and viscerally reminiscent of a particular time in my life.
“Chopsticks” - Liz Phair
I met him at a party and he told me how to drive him home
He said he liked to do it backwards
I said, “That’s just fine with me,
That way we can fuck and watch TV.”It was four a.m. and the light was gray, like it always is in paperbacks
He asked if I liked playing jacks
I told him that I was good to sixes
But all hell broke loose after thatI told him that I knew Julia Roberts when I was twelve at summer camp
We didn’t say anything after that
I dropped him off and I drove on home
‘Cause secretly I’m timid
“Fool’s Gold” - Bree Sharp
My head is heavy and bent like a crane
The wrecking ball blues are coming again
And Latham says, “Babe, you know life is a ride”
But living’s no fun when you’re dead inside.I pierce myself to wake up my veins
I’d pierce my heart if I thought things would change
I’m just like a skin that’s been stung and restung
The campfire songs that are sung and resung
For a girl of my age why am I so numb?I’ve been chasing a lie I was sold
Running down thieves and fool’s gold
These Christmas dreams are just painted coalI’ve been swallowed up by greed, I’ve been spat upon by lust
If they ain’t playing with your money, they’re playing with your trust
And I’m trying so hard to stop sitting still
To gather the juice that’s been spent or been spilled
Find a spark in myself that hasn’t been killed
‘Cause if death doesn’t get you, then life surely will.I’ve been chasing a lie I was sold
Running down thieves and fool’s gold
And these Christmas dreams are just painted–We’ve been chasing a lie we were sold
We’re running down thieves and fool’s gold
And these Christmas dreams are just painted
Just painted, just painted, just painted
CoalTalk about an early frost.
(Couldn’t find a video for this one.)
Carry on.
Tagged by Josephine (I like the spin [no pun intended, seriously!] she put on the meme); and also spotted at Debauchette’s.
List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your
springsummer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.
Because I like to bend rules when I can, and because I can be ridiculously uptight and indecisive about music, I’m doing two versions of this: a general one, and a “songs I like to pole dance to lately” one, in keeping with Josephine’s mod.
General version
Pole dancing version
I love this meme because I get to find new (to me) music and look it up on iTunes.
Oh yeah, the tagging part. Let’s see, I tag…
…and anyone else who wants to do it, of course.
Okay, I’ve got it narrowed down to:
(Thomas, I know you said M. Manson was too martial, but I really like “The Dope Show” and it has a good beat for dancing.)
I have to give Darcey my choice by Wednesday, but I’d like to do it tomorrow. Decisions!!
Update: I finally made a decision; I went with the Pink song.
Next weekend (Sunday, April 27, 5:30 p.m.) is a student/instructor pole dancing showcase, and I’m performing! It features students in Levels 5 and 5/6, and instructors. Register now* if you want to come… it’s free, and space is limited!
One student and one instructor will perform at the same time, and the student has to choose a song that’s 4 minutes or less to dance to. So I’m trying to pick a song, and so far I’ve got it narrowed down to, well, not nearly a small enough sample, I know. I’ve listed the possibilities below with their lengths and various pros/cons/observations.
“Coming Undone” - Korn
“Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)” - Big & Rich
“U + Ur Hand” - P!nk
“Conceited” - Remy Ma
“The Dope Show” - Marilyn Manson
“Only Happy When It Rains” - Garbage
“Capital G” - Nine Inch Nails
“Filthy Gorgeous” - Scissor Sisters
“Nasty Love” - Lords of Acid
So what do you think? Leave your opinions in the comments, please!
* To register, go to polelateaz.com, click “Account Login” in the top right, and then click the “Workshops” tab and navigate to Sunday, April 27th. You’ll have to make an account if you don’t already have one.
Every time I hear the Kid Rock song “Cowboy,” at the part where he says, “Get thrown in the mix and tossed out of bars,” I think, “No, you mean Waffle Houses.”
…GriftDrift or Sara, this post could be known as “Songs In My Head” or “Mood Music.”
At first I figured I’d look for the best concert footage to post, but then this video showed up in the YouTube search. It honestly had not occurred to me to look for an actual music video, ya know, like the kind they show on Em-Tee-Vee. (Do they show those anymore? Back when I stopped watching MTV, they were down to about three hours a day of music videos.) Am I showing my age? I mean, I’m not all that old, but I haven’t watched MTV or had any interest whatsoever in music videos in over ten years.
Anyway, back to Heimdalsgate, apparently some people think the song is about drugs. That’s also something that hadn’t occurred to me, but Wikipedia says it’s a common perception. To me it was just so obvious that it’s about depression, that I never considered anything else. I guess people who haven’t experienced depression don’t identify with it. Here’s what Kevin said to some idiotic-sounding reporter from The Stranger:
I went through this chemical depression, and that’s when I was writing a lot of the songs for Hissing Fauna. They’re all songs about that experience. And I was experiencing it in the moment that I was writing the songs, and sort of asking myself: What the hell is going on? Why are you all of a sudden totally paranoid and plagued by these anxieties? And why is everything so distorted and confusing and fucked up? My lifestyle hadn’t changed that much. And then I realized, well, there’s something going on inside of me that I don’t have control over, and then you realize how vulnerable you are to these things, these elements that you can’t understand, or unless you go on medication and get it under control. It’s like you’re being betrayed by your body.
I love this song. I love the whole album (except for one annoying song).
Meanwhile, there are storms throughout the South today, and already 45 people have been killed by tornadoes. :( I’m supposed to go see my new shrink at noon; hopefully the weather won’t be too terrible.
First of all, I hate it when people give blog posts titles like “Random Thoughts.” Even worse is when they name their entire blog something like “Random Thoughts.”
And yet, there it is.
I need to go to bed. But sometimes when Rusty isn’t here (he’s in Marietta tonight), I feel scared in the apartment alone. I know that might sound totally lame, but you know what, that’s just too damn bad, because everybody has things about them that might sound lame and yet are true.
One of the Georgians for Choice directors doesn’t like colloquial use of the word “lame.” She’s a PWD (gotta love the acronyms ’round here) and finds it disrespectful. I don’t have any opinion on it. I understand why she would feel that way. I also understand why some people find “crazy” disrespectful/offensive toward people with mental illnesses and such. I’m a diagnosed clinical depressive but I don’t find “crazy” offensive; in fact, in many cases, I find it quite apt. But if I know someone doesn’t like it, I make an effort not to use it around them. Inasmuch as Republicans flap their lips about “free speech” and “it’s just a word!!” you never see them acknowledging that if it is, in fact, “just a word,” then why’s it such a big fucking deal for them not to use it? Just pick another word FFS.
Oh! I found out some good news. Turns out, Club 2Risqué isn’t closed for good after all. They’re just preparing to open a new facility. And the grand opening is four days before my birthday. (Hard to believe I’ll be 28. Argh.)
I need to get off my ass and send my photoset to Project ISM (link NSFW). I took over 100 photos yesterday, and they turned out really well if I do say so myself. I am inching, excitedly and nervously, toward finally being naked on the internet. Encouragement would be appreciated. Anything else - including boring interrogation about “oh but why do you feel you have to do this??” is highly unwelcome.
Songs I’ve been listening to on repeat tonight:
I have not yet turned on my new MacBook, which arrived this morning. Delayed gratification!
And now, I really do need to go to bed.
I should be getting ready for bed right about now, but I’m not tired. But I also don’t have enough energy to write a substantive blog post. That annoys me.
Topics that I want to blog about at (relative) length soon:
Can we have a female “just say no” to sexual shame week? Get some folk to talk about why some things make them feel shameful and why? What pressures put upon women lead to bad sex, and what things make for good sex? Can we bust out of the moral ball and chain and just get freaky?
I wouldn’t say I have much of a problem with a “moral ball and chain,” but nonetheless, talking about sex and breaking down the SHAME SHAME SHAME message is always a useful topic to pursue.
So maybe I’ll get to that stuff later this week.
GodDAMN I want a pole in our apartment! I’m trying not to be too impatient, because I know we’ll have one soon. But I am just itching for my very own pole, so I can practice more than once a week. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t help but dance in place when I’m listening to my iPod at work (as much as is possible while sitting in an office chair).
Anyone who says pole dancing is ALL ABOUT TEH MENZ!!1!1 can suck my boots. More and more, I’m discovering that this is an amazing, new, liberating form of self-expression for me. I never in a million years would’ve thought I would be sitting here saying I express myself through dance, and yet here I am! Monday night in class (we’re doing an 8-week “level 3.5″) I felt so inspired and happy watching everyone dance… I thought, “Damn, we all look so GOOD!” Everyone’s gotten to the point now where we’re really starting to go with the flow and improv, and do what we feel, and really put our own signature onto it. Everyone in class is unique, expressive, and beautiful.
10 selections of stripper music I’m liking lately (in no particular order):
Not an effective stripper song, but my new favorite song in general, thanks to Steve Eley, is “First of May” by Johnathan Coulton. That’s funny shit.
Okay. I should really try to go to bed now, before I get too carried away with excessive capitalization and italics.
Speaking of songs (now that I’m listening to my iPod on shuffle)… here’s one I love/hate.
These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase
At least now, I can listen to it without breaking down and having my body racked with sobs. But just barely. That’s progress, right?
Shifting gears a bit…
Monday night is my graduation from level 2 pole dancing. I can hardly believe it! I can go sideways now, and climb the pole like nobody’s business (not without bruising the hell out of my foot, but never mind that).
I’m trying to decide what to use as the song for my routine. I’ve narrowed it down to 4 songs. What do you think? Leave your votes in the comments!
Here’s me with my certificate and garter after level 1 graduation…
It’s like karate, you get a different color garter for each level. Soon I’ll have a black belt garter in stripping.
Here it is, my final post of 2006 (unless my typin’ fingers start to itch again between now and midnight, that is). No “Favorite posts of 2006″ this year. Sorry, I just can’t bring myself to run the SQL queries. I’m lazy.
I was happy to meet a lot of new, awesome blogfriends in 2006, mainly in the feminist ’sphere. Yeah, sure, there were the Great Blowjob Wars and all that hoo-hah, but really, in a way, that’s part of the fun. And I don’t mean that in a jackassy way like “Look how superior I am to all of this,” really.
2006 was, too, of course, the Year of the Podcast for Rusty and me. We launched the Georgia Podcast Network and have been going at full-speed ever since. I would say we’ve become minor (very minor) local celebrities, but again, I don’t want to sound like a jackass and I don’t want to jinx our good fortune!
Far too many friends, family members, and friends and family members of friends got sick or died this year… but I don’t want to talk about depressing stuff like that. Here’s hoping for fewer shitty events of that nature in 2007.
My new year’s resolutions are very boring. Really I only have one resolution: rinse with Listerine every day. See? Boring. I initially used “resolutions” in the plural, because I could’ve sworn I thought of another one a few days ago; but now I can’t remember what it was. Oh well… as my grandfather used to say, “must’ve been a lie.”
My 2007 goals are going to amateur night (as previously mentioned), and being more confident in general.
Events I’m looking forward to include BlogSavannah Un-Conference, SoCon07, and PodCamp Atlanta.
And, most of all? I’m looking forward to getting to spend another 365 days with Rusty. (Cue collective “awwww” or puking noise, depending on your disposition.)
Four years ago today, the shit hit the fan and I found out my husband was really a woman trapped in a man’s body, and everything fell apart and I honestly thought I would die. On my blog, I barely alluded to it (look up the entry for Dec. 31, 2002 if you’re curious). I kept on going as if nothing was wrong, or at least that was the appearance I gave the outside world. Well… four years later, let’s just say things are immensely better than I ever could have imagined, and for some reason now at this moment I feel all sappy and filled with looooove. I’m going to go grope the GDBF now.
Here’s a playlist* for New Year’s Eve. Stay away from those amateurs tonight, and have fun!
* Note: This is also the track list of the Christmas CD I burned for Jenny and Niki. So, ladies, if you haven’t opened your gifts yet, you now know what one of them is! But don’t worry, there are other surprises to be had in those packages.
Earlier today, an Outback Steakhouse commercial came on TV. I wasn’t really paying attention, but I did think, “Hmm, something about that jingle sounds familiar.” Then Rusty said, “Hey… doesn’t that sound an awful lot like an Of Montreal song?” So I perked up and listened more closely - and sure enough, it sounded suspiciously like “Wraith Pinned to the Mist (and Other Games)” - incidentally, one of my favorite songs. Now, for Rusty to recognize something as sounding like an Of Montreal song means the resemblance is pretty uncanny, because basically the only time he listens to Of Montreal is if I happen to be playing one of their CDs in the car.
Of course, I had to consult Google to see if anyone else had noticed this resemblance, and if Of Montreal was going to sue Outback for copyright infringement. Turns out, it’s not just an uncanny resemblance - it’s the actual song, with different words!
Via StereoGum, where you can also watch the commercial:
Kevin Barnes confirmed: “We were approached by Outback Steakhouse’s ad agency asking about making their own cover version of ‘Wraith Pinned to the Mist (And Other Games)’ for one of their commercials. We thought it would be totally amusing to hear their take on one of our songs as a jingle.”
Ha! I find this to be odd and hilarious. I have to say, I would never have expected to hear an Of Montreal song in an Outback commercial!
R.E.M. finally got inducted into the Georgia Music Hall of Fame.
I lifted the photo from Grayson… hope she won’t mind. (I’m very jealous of all of you who were there in person!)
…and current recipient of iPod repeat-button abuse is: “I’m Glad I Hitched My Apple Wagon To Your Star” by The Boy Least Likely To. You should download it. It’ll cheer you up.
And now I’m glad I hitched my apple wagon to your star,
I never would’ve got here if I’d followed my heart,
I didn’t think much of it ’til I took it apart,
I’m glad I hitched my apple wagon to your star.
You can make fun all you want, but the fact of the matter is, I love Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter.” Those lyrics kick ass. And I also think it would be an awesome song to pole dance to. (To which… Shut up, grammarians.)
Oh! And the next song that just came up on my iPod after that one? Liz Phair’s “Mesmerizing,” another personal favorite.
Jmac is always doing those “top 5 [whatever]” lists, so here’s one from me:
I finally got the new Liz Phair album, Somebody’s Miracle. I know some people don’t care for it, but I have to say I heartily disagree.
It’s funny - the criticisms I’ve read about this album sound so similar to the ones I read about her eponymous album in 2003, that I start to wonder if the reviewers just got lazy and decided to rehash old articles. Hey, speaking of rehashing old stuff, let’s see what I wrote about Liz Phair a little over two years ago.
I don’t understand why Liz Phair’s new CD has gotten such bad reviews (or at least those that I’ve read). I bought it the other day, and it’s great! I think the “popular” media just has something against her. They first jumped all over her shit back when Exile in Guyville came out because it was sooo scandalous (omigod, she said “blow job”!!), then they criticized Whip Smart and whitechocolatespaceegg for not being as ‘raw’ as Exile in Guyville, and accused her of selling out. WTF? It’s obvious that they really just don’t know what to think of her because she doesn’t fit any pre-defined stereotype or category.
Yep, still applicable.
One of the things I like most about Liz Phair’s music is that it’s never stagnant. Her sound is always evolving, and she’s always finding creative new things to do. (Which is why it baffles me when critics accuse her of “selling out.”) And, as always, the strongest part of her music is her lyrics. Her intelligent and thoughtful songwriting is one thing that doesn’t change.
I would say this album’s lyrics are more mature, but that would imply that the lyrics of previous albums have been immature, which isn’t the case. Maybe a better way to put it is that Somebody’s Miracle seems more introspective overall than her previous albums (which, again, all carried a hefty dose of introspection).
Probably my favorite thing about the album is the transition from “Somebody’s Miracle” to “Got My Own Thing” immediately after it. Some might find the juxtaposition of the following lyrics confusing and off-putting… but I think it’s great.
First, from “Somebody’s Miracle”:
I never cry out loud.
I keep my tears to myself.
But I woke up one day and I found my life had left me for someone else.
I guess it must be unhappy with me.There goes somebody’s miracle,
Walking down the street.
There goes a modern day fairy tale.
I wish it could happen to me.
But I look at myself,
Wondering if I’m just too weak
To have such faith in myself.
Then, from “Got My Own Thing”:
I’ve got my own thing.
Feel it, it is strong.
As short as people think,
But really it is long.don’t have to wait for a miracle.
They say I’m pretty as a song.
I don’t have to save for a rainy day,
I know that something comes along (it always comes along).
The placment of these two songs right beside each other reveals something honest and real. Everyone has periods of loneliness, self-doubt, and fear; and everyone also has periods of self-confidence and happiness. One can follow the other with little predictability - that’s real life.
So, if I had to pick one word to describe Somebody’s Miracle, it would be honest. We here at Being Amber Rhea give it two thumbs up; Liz Phair rocks as hard as ever.
Tonight: Liz Phair at the Roxy. Oh yes, this will be a great show. The last time I saw her was in 1998, at NYU. And if I remember correctly, it was FREE (although my memory could be faulty in my old age).
Tonight’s show is not free, and there was almost a disaster. I could have sworn when I ordered tickets last week that I had bought two. But apparently I had bought only one. I discovered this when I opened the PDF of my (assumed) tickets, only to find that there was just one. I checked my receipt, and sure enough, only one ticket was purchased. Son of a…! Fortunately the show wasn’t sold out (and is general admission), so I ordered another on Ticketmaster’s web site just now. It’s a good thing I discovered my dumbassitude (yes, I’m lifting Tony’s word) now and not at, oh, 7:00 PM.
Also, Ticketmaster and their stupid “convenience charges” can proverbially lick my proverbial balls.
So, the Of Montreal show last night (in Athens, at the 40 Watt) totally rocked my socks. If you’ve never heard their music, you need to go take care of that right now.
I’ll say this, though… when I was a college student, it was amusing, even endearing, to know that basically all shows were on “Athens time” - so if it was advertised to start at 10, you knew it would be at least midnight before whoever you came to see went on. Now that I’m an old person living in Atlanta, it gets on my damn nerves a little. It was a kickass show, but it would’ve been just as kickass four hours earlier. But hey, what’re you gonna do? Nobody likes a curmudgeon, so I’ll shut my filthy mouth and quit my complaining.
Of Montreal rocks your ass all over the place, leaving you feeling excited but content at the same time. -Oh, what the hell do I know, I’m no Flagpole music writer. Anyway, the point is, the show fucking ROCKED.
Off-topic: Last night downtown Athens had a disturbing overabundance of cockroaches. Not fun.
[Cross-posted at Athens World]
We had “Apple training” today, and it was awesome (and that’s not even considering how painful yesterday’s “Microsoft training” was). The guy from Apple was great and was very thorough — and not only that, but he showed us stuff that would be really relevant to our jobs. People were particularly impressed by the Postscript basis of all OS X graphics. (But then, they were impressed by lots of things, so it’s hard to pick just one.) We even got to make our own short movies in iMovie, because they had enough cameras for all of us to use! It was awesome — my first foray into filmmaking. (And what a masterpiece it was, let me tell you. I should have saved it.)
I had more to say, but I’m pretty tired now. Another long day tomorrow; unfortunately it’s back to peecees tomorrow. :P Anyway, here are some more Liz Phair lyrics before I go to bed; she’s great.
I feel the sun on my back…
I smell the earth in my skin…
I see the sky above me
Like a full recovery…
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