Lately, Melissa keeps writing stuff that feels like something piercing my gut and brings a tear to my eye, and then I struggle to put into words what is resonating so deeply and why. Here’s the latest installment. And my rambling commences after the cut.
Read the full post »
Identity, and a million other half-articulated thoughts
Reflections on Sex 2.0, past and present
In an email thread with potential organizers of next year’s Sex 2.0, I said something that I felt was worth reposting here, as it kind of gives a basic idea of what my “vision” was with Sex 2.0. It can also be extrapolated to other causes/events/etc.
In response to Match’s question:
3. Did the conf pay for travel/boarding for any speakers?
I answered:
You’re funny! Unless you count Dacia staying at my place, nope.
On the one hand I wish we could’ve, but that would’ve taken a shit-ton more money than I even dreamed of being able to raise. I do feel very strongly that people deserve to be paid for their hard work, including speaking, presentations, etc. - and I resent the fact that oftentimes in “progressive” circles, it’s taken as a given that people will do things “pro bono,” or they’re seen as greedy or somehow bad if they expect compensation for their efforts.
On the other hand, since fundamentally this was an unconference, setting up a hierarchy of “speaker” vs. “not-speaker” defeats the purpose. There was no call for papers. Sessions did not have to be pre-approved. Basically if somebody wanted to lead a session, they said so, and sent me a description and I posted it on the web site. It was first come, first served.
So I would caveat my first statement (”on the one hand”) by pointing out that those expectations are reasonable in some circumstances and not in others. I feel like w/ Sex 2.0, there’s a real spirit of community and all of us working for a greater good - and recognizing that we DON’T get a lot of funding, bc we have to fight tooth and nail for what little we get bc of the stigma. I feel like there was passion behind Sex 2.0 that I’ve rarely seen elsewhere.
Y’all certainly don’t have to structure it as an unconference next year if you don’t want to. Seriously, you can and should do whatever you want! Personally I think the unconference model works for Sex 2.0 in maintaining and fostering the sex commons that Elizabeth Wood spoke about. To me it makes sense for Sex 2.0 to be a space for non-hierarchical, collaborative learning. We all have things to teach and things to learn.
Finally, I will caveat THAT by saying that while I really enjoy the unconference model, I think if taken too far it descends into unmanageable chaos. I’ve had a few people lecture me on why I shouldn’t call Sex 2.0 an unconference, since it doesn’t use the “open space” model. I think these people are, quite simply, assholes - and I welcome them to run their own sex conference if they’re so full of bright ideas. I just think asking people to travel across the country without SOME idea of what to expect in terms of sessions, participants, etc. is unrealistic. I think it works best to strike a balance between the two extremes - build a general framework of expectations, and let the content grow organically.
Interviews about Sex 2.0
Check out these interviews Rachel Kramer Bussel did with me, Viviane, and Twanna. They’re a precursor to an upcoming Huffington Post piece. Here’s an excerpt from my interview:
How do you see the “sexual community” where you live vs. the community you’ve found online? What do online communities offer that offline ones don’t regarding sexual openness?
It’s not always a simple matter of delineating “online” and “offline” community; the beauty of social media is that those barriers are breaking down. My online community is my offline community. Maybe not all the time, when things like geographic distance comes into play; but all these people who knew of each other thanks to the internet came together at Sex 2.0 and had a really kick-ass time in Atlanta.
But speaking of geographic barriers, online community can fill the gaps when people aren’t able to get together IRL. If you live in an isolated area, you might feel pretty cut off from others who share your sexual interests; but with access to the internet, suddenly you’re not so alone anymore.
Also, online, people may feel more comfortable talking about things that are painful or embarrassing for them to discuss face-to-face. This is a useful facet of online community regardless of what one’s offline community looks like.
Have I neglected to mention…
…that Ren gave me an awesome shirt at Sex 2.0?
Some of you may even recognize the graphic from your own sidebars!
Sex 2.0, one week later
Sex 2.0 was last weekend, and I think people are finally starting to come down from the post-orgasmic bliss state that characterized last week’s tweets, blog posts, emails, etc. (On a less pleasant note, I have yet to shake this case of con crud.)
A few days ago, I posted a big round-up of what other people had to say about the conference; but I have yet to post my reactions. So here are a few.
First of all, simply the fact that all of last week seemed like a post-orgasmic bliss-like state - and Twitter was a downright lovefest - is testament to Sex 2.0’s huge success. I had hoped for it to be successful, bring people together, foster community, blah blah blah… but it really did all that and more in a way that exceeded my wildest dreams. I am so pleased!
The only complaint I heard was that there were too many interesting sessions going on at once! I lost count of the number of people who told me they wished it had been two days.
Dacia and I were talking about how one thing that was unique about Sex 2.0 was that people seemed to be more interested in actually talking and interacting face-to-face, rather than obsessively documenting the event via liveblogging, photos, Twitter, etc. Don’t get me wrong, all of those things were going on; but it definitely was a different vibe than any other social media-related conference I’ve been to. People were so interested and engaged in the discussions, that they couldn’t be bothered to stop and pick up their iPhones. And to me that’s what it’s all about! Social media should foster the social, after all.
Also - and this might seem paradoxical to the last point, but it’s really not - instead of just talking about the various social media tools available, people were actually using the tools to create original content and do cool things. Whether it was showing people how social media can help sex workers form an online community for real-world activism, or role-playing the ups and downs of being internet famous (I’m still annoyed with myself for not going to Melissa’s session), this conference was about doing and not just being meta. Several people were inspired to create new blogs or other social media projects last weekend, and I look forward to seeing how they develop.
Overall, I believe it was the combination of strong content, the energy of the people there, and the comfort of being in a judgment-free space that created Sex 2.0’s unique heights of awesomeness. There are already plans in the works for next year; I love to see this excitement! The consensus seems to be that it will be in DC next year. Sounds good to me… I’ll see y’all there!
Clermont Lounge in danger!
Attention devotees of the Clermont, new and old alike…
The Clermont may be in danger of closing down!!
http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2008/04/17/clermont-lounge-for-sale/
I feel like we need to write to someone (and include Match’s podcast, if necessary). But who? The mayor?
[Via Going Through the Motions. Cross-posted on the Sex 2.0 blog.]
Update: Ah, what a relief!
links for 2008-04-17
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“My adventures at Sex2.0 in Atlanta continue with this outing to the most wonderful Clermont Strip club and a birthday lapdance that I will never forget!” Match’s podcast about Sex 2.0. The Clermont is ‘the intersection of Roadhouse and granny porn.’
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“The white people of New York have been properly documented. This experiment has shown that they are featured in at least one article in every Sunday New York Times.” LOL!
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variables that can be used in the Flickr “blog this” feature
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“AJC: YOU ARE A GEORGIA BIG MEDIA OUTLET. WHY ARE YOU NOT BUILDING YOUR GEORGIA ONLINE COMMUNITY AMONGST THE VERY PEOPLE WHO ARE OPERATING WITHIN THE GEORGIA ONLINE COMMUNUITY? WE ARE HERE! BUT WHERE ARE YOU?”
links for 2008-04-16
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“There comes a time in many people’s lives where they feel a need for celebration. Sometimes these auspicious events require the company of one or more naked dancing girls.” Ren’s first Naked City column.
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“In other words, we can distinguish between legislation and public health campaigns. The first is Nannyish. The second is not.”
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Twanna and Rachel’s travel adventure
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Sex 2.0 tweetscan - awesome!
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“From pole dancing to learning how to become a phone sex operator, Sex 2.0 was fascinating, informative and fun. The sex nerds at the conference are all aces in their various fields, and I learned much about world wild web.” Maeve’s wrap-up.
links for 2008-04-15
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Yay, super-cute Sakura Sarashi starts a blog after attending Sex 2.0!
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Jay’s Sex 2.0 wrap-up. “This conference left me with such positive feelings about the future of sexual activism and humanity in general.” Yay!
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Viviane’s liveblogging of Sex 2.0
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“Well, count me as one of the internet harpies. But at least count me as someone who passed eighth grade civics (note to Alex: People on the internet saying you’re an asshole are not infringing on your free speech rights).”
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She observes that, “Everyone tells them they’re bad, that they are sinners. They’ve already gotten that message, and they need to know they are loved and respected.”
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“Because you see, if a convert Muslim tells you so - never having lived under a theocracy herself - you can swallow your ‘lived experience’ (another term they love). Pretend it never happened.”
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“When I think about why it’s important to identify as someone who believes in the definition, I think about the things that have happened in my life because others didn’t.”
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“The documentary At Your Cervix explores the connection between the way medical and nursing students are taught pelvic exams and the reality that most women experience them as painful and disempowering.”
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“I volunteered at the sexual assault center in my town and it is fucking ridiculous how much violence is enacted upon women on a daily basis. Why can’t we teach our sons and our daughters to respect others boundaries and to not be a fucking creepy person?!!!”
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“Granted, those old buildings are a little grimey. But they’re also neat old urban storefronts that already cater to a lot of street life. I’d hate to see them torn down. It would change the neighborhood irrevocably, and not for the better.”
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J. Brotherlove’s wrap-up of Sex 2.0
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…a.k.a., the One True Wrap-up Post To Rule Them All.
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“It’s a memoir about sexually coming of age, and it includes the horrific, the good, and the nitty gritty in between that the author worked through to make a better life for herself.”
The Sex 2.0 back-channel
…a.k.a., the One True Wrap-up Post To Rule Them All.
Live-blogging
A sampling of wrap-up posts
- village voice sex naked city - Sex 2.0 Brings the Internet’s Sex Nerds to Atlanta - Dacia’s Sex 2.0 video on Naked City TV
- Sex Trade: Sex conference brings bloggers together to Twitter about getting laid - Melissa’s wrap-up on Valleywag
- Renegade Evolution: Sex 2.0, the Awesome & the Suck - Ren’s truly comprehensive wrap-up of Sex 2.0! (”The Suck” refers to her being stuck in the airport.)
- Radical Georgia Moderate » Sex 2.0 exceeded my expectations - Rusty’s wrap-up post.
Many more Sex 2.0-related blog posts are saved in my del.icio.us, and I’ll be updating with more as I find them.
I’ll also be checking Technorati periodically. If you write something Sex 2.0-related, please remember to tag it “sex20″ so it’ll get picked up by Technorati!
Other links
- Outline of Audacia Ray’s keynote
- Sex 2.0 “sex commons” forum on Sex in the Public Square, where participants in Elizabeth’s session (or anyone, really!) can continue the discussion begun at the conference.
People who were Twittering at Sex 2.0
- amberlrhea
- audaciaray
- cunningminx
- debrisblanche
- elizabethSITPS
- ellie_lumpesse
- eternal42
- funkybrownchick
- furrygirl
- inaradeluna
- Jennagain
- jbrotherlove
- kimberleecline
- melissagira
- misstreah
- MistressMaeve
- museumfreak
- peacetara
- playwithmatch
- raquelita
- reginalynn
- rustytanton
- SakuraSarashi
- SFEley
- Starre
- subnouveau
- tiffanybbrown
- tmoenk
- viviane212
All tweets from people who used the #sex20 hashtag are at http://twemes.com/sex20.
I took screenshots of some of my favorite tweets. (I certainly missed some, because there were over 1,000 tweets, y’all.)
More screenshots here.
Photographic evidence
Of course, there is a Sex 2.0 Flickr group. Currently it’s invite-only, to keep away prying/creepy eyes. If you want to join so you can add photos, there’s a “request invitation” link (or something like that, I don’t know what the exact text is) that you can click, and I’ll add you.
—
Thanks to everyone who came to Sex 2.0 and made it a truly amazing event!! The only complaints I’ve heard about it were that there were too many awesome sessions going on at once so it was hard to decide where to go, so I consider that a success!
There’s already energy for doing it again next year… how about in Washginton, DC this time? That seems to be the growing consensus. (Maeve, I would totally be down with Burlington, VT too, if you can find a venue!)
Thanks again, y’all. It was a wonderful weekend.
links for 2008-04-14
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Rusty’s Sex 2.0 wrap-up post!
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Yay, Dacia’s Sex 2.0 video on Naked City!
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Dacia’s keynote
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Melissa’s Valleywag post about Sex 2.0
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Elizabeth’s wonderful wrap-up of Sex 2.0
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Outline from Elizabeth’s “Creating the Sex Commons” session.
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Fleshbot post about Sex 2.0 wrap-ups - how meta!
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“Anyway, more on the conference later. It was fabulous and I’m so inspired, can’t wait to teach Erotica 101 again on May 3rd in Minneapolis at Smitten Kitten. And I really hope some of the people taking my classes submit to my upcoming anthologies.”
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“It was an amazing event. Worth way more than the $10 I spent. Major brainpower behind new sex media, erotica, sex work etc. was mind boggling.”
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Ellie’s liveblogging of Sex 2.0
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“I’m so fucking glad I went to the Sex 2.0 conference. I feel invigorated and ready to take it up a notch, expand my horizons, and put more effort into my non-blog writing. I think the word ‘empowered’ is often overused, but in this case it is necessary b
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Ren’s truly comprehensive wrap-up of Sex 2.0! (”The Suck” refers to her being stuck in the airport.)
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“A pundit can put the words, ‘Take out the garbage!’ in Clinton’s mouth but if anyone were to put ‘Give me a watermelon’ in Obama’s mouth, they’d be fired in heartbeat… and rightly so, without Badtax telling us to STFU and suck it up.”
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“What’s the difference between a complaint and a whine? Why is objecting to ‘nappy-headed ho’s’ a legitimate complaint, but objecting to ‘Take out the garbage’ a loser’s whine?”
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Great comment thread! Highly recommended reading.
links for 2008-04-10
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More on the Starbucks mermaid, and mermaids in general. Fascinating! I love stuff like this.
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Viviane’s excellent “all the info is right here!” post about Sex 2.0
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Dacia’s follow-up video to my video about making a dental damn. I’ve been schooled!
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“All my life I have been viewed as an asexual being whose desires should be avoided or neglected. The trip to the brothel taught me not to be afraid of my sexuality and not to push it into the background.”
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“Failure to advocate for sex workers rights and seeing that their professions remain illegal and wrapped up in a great deal of stigma does nothing to change the attitude that allows for people to find that sort of thing funny.”
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Naughty American article about Sex 2.0. Thanks, David! (I’m a little flustered about being compared to Martin Luther King, Jr. though… I mean seriously, WTF?)
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“First off, even when it’s yourself, nobody likes a whiner. So it’s worthwhile to be mindful about the extent to which your internal monologue is becoming personally insufferable.”
So about that BBC interview…
Jenny and Ren have been asking, so I should actually answer!
I think it went really well. It was actually more of a “pre-interview” though… the guy said they were trying to figure out the best way to cover Sex 2.0. Their program airs on Saturday, and he asked about doing live mini-interviews from the conference over Skype, but I had to be honest and told him our internet connection probably wouldn’t be all that reliable. He said they might try to book an NPR studio in Atlanta on Friday and do a pre-recorded interview, but that his team was going to have a meeting first and he’d be in touch.
So far I haven’t heard anything else; but either way, I think it was a good experience for me - even though (or maybe because) I was totally nervous the whole time and trying to make myself not be nervous.
Jenny said, “You do this kind of thing all the time!” and I had to laugh… yeah, I do podcasts all the time. This just seems a little different! ;)
Dacia asked if I was nervous talking to media, or if I was just nervous because it was the freakin’ BBC. Definitely the latter!
Anyway, it was interesting, exciting, and nerve-racking, and who knows, maybe there will be more interviews like this in my future. We’ll see!
Sex 2.0 on HotMoviesForHer.com
Some out-of-towners like Atlanta for waffles, others for peaches… but all like it for sex.
Thanks to Dacia for writing about Sex 2.0 in her latest Hot Movies For Her column, entitled “Perverts and Peaches: Sex 2.0 Brings Internetophiles to Atlanta.”
The internet is for geeks with bad acne and missing limbs. Internet dating is a last ditch effort and can attract stalkers. People who do cybersex don’t have healthy sex lives. The sex industry is using the internet to exploit women.
These are all mildly to majorly ridiculous stereotypes of people who use the internet, stereotypes that will shatter this coming weekend in Atlanta. The first Sex 2.0 conference, primarily organized by blogger and podcaster Amber Rhea, is being held at BDSM community space 1763 in Atlanta on April 12th, and people from all over the United States will be there. The thing they all have in common is their interest in the conference’s subtitle: the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality. Hopefully most of them are also interested in hearing me talk, since I’m the keynote speaker and will be delivering a short (but fierce!) talk promptly at 9:15 am.
I talked (by email, of course!) with a few different people who are planning to attend the conference to find out what kind of company I’ll be in. It turns out that the participants are a pretty eclectic group who will be coming from near and far to meet up, share ideas, educate each other and have a little fun.
Sunday thoughts
Today we had a volunteer meeting for Sex 2.0. Including me, there were seven people in attendance. I was happy that there was such a good turnout! We put together name badges (which were printed last night on the beautiful template Rusty created), went over basic rules (e.g., be a hard-ass about time limits on sessions), and talked about what people would do on their specific “shifts” (and acknowledged that a large part of the volunteer role is helping me not freak out). I felt a bit awkward and nervous, and hoped I didn’t seem too disorganized. I was also getting flustered because often people seemed to be having several conversations at once. I know that tends to happen when you get a group of a certain size, but it makes it difficult for me to concentrate on any of the conversations. And it made me worry that maybe I wasn’t coming across as a confident organizer.
Even though I am full of worry about Sex 2.0, I’m also very excited. I truly think it will be an amazing event. One guy I did an interview with a few days ago called it a “watershed event.” Woohoo!
I’m still afraid that people will get pissed about stuff I can’t control (e.g., if the wifi is slow or not working), or about stuff they should’ve known but didn’t take the time to read the web site, or other stuff, and take it out on me because I’m the organizer after all. I’m trying to remember that you can’t please everyone, and if people decide to whine instead of being proactive, that’s their problem. But like my therapist said a few weeks ago, it’s not useful to tell me not to take things personally, because that’s just how I am. I will take things personally. Especially when it’s something like Sex 2.0, which is basically my labor of love come to fruition. (Wow, what’s with the birthing metaphor?)
But. The bottom line: Sex 2.0 will be great.
Oh… I should also mention that I completed my 365 Days project about a week ago. I did miss a few days over the course of the year, but only about ten total. I still haven’t uploaded all the photos - I need to go through iPhoto and do that - but eventually I’ll put up a link to the full Flickr set.
Sex 2.0 is next weekend!
What is Sex 2.0?
Sex 2.0 will focus on the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality. How is social media enabling people to learn, grow, and connect sexually? How is sexual expression tied to social activism? Does the concept of transparency online offer new opportunities or present new roadblocks — or both? These questions, and many more, will be addressed within a safe, welcoming, sex-positive space.
Respecting the confidentiality and protecting the identities of participants who wish to maintain a degree of anonymity will be a top priority at Sex 2.0.
When? April 12, 2008
Where? 1763~A Deviant Place of Decadence, 1763 Montreal Circle, Tucker, Ga., 30084
How much? $50.
REGISTRATION IS MANDATORY. We will not be taking any walk-up registrations at the door.
At Sex 2.0, everyone is a participant rather than a passive attendee. This is YOUR event!
More Sex 2.0 coverage: Fleshbot & Metblogs
Two more posts about Sex 2.0 went up yesterday…
Because we can never have enough opportunities to get together with like-minded
geeksonline experts and talk about sex, several members of the Fleshbot Collective are considering a trip to Atlanta later this month for Sex 2.0, a one day conference focusing on the “intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality” which is also quite possibly the only event of its kind in the world to be held in a 10,000 square foot, fully equipped dungeon. Plus, we hear there are lots of Waffle Houses in Atlanta. Mmm, Waffle House.
Heh. Yes, for all who are interested, there can indeed be a Sunday Morning Waffle House Excursion.
Unless you’ve been trapped on a deserted island for the past decade or so, the intersection of sex and technology is very prominent. The past five years or so have only built upon that with the popularity of social networks. Orkut, Friendster, MySpace, Facebook…social media is changing the landscape of how we interact. Moreover, we’re also seeing the real-life implications of showing your sexuality online, such as former Arlington, OR mayor Carmen Kontur-Gronquist and her MySpace photos which cost her job.
Until now, there hasn’t been a real chance to discuss how social media, sexuality and the world today all work with each other! That is, until Sex 2.0.
Thanks, Jonno and Karsh!
About.com interview is up
Well, here’s some good news for the day, anyway. Thankfully there’s something.
Cory Silverberg asked me some damn good questions about Sex 2.0, and the interview is now up at About.com. An excerpt:
On your website you describe Sex 2.0 as focusing on “the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality.” What does that mean exactly?
I hate to give an obtuse answer, but the truth is, what it means will be different for each individual. That’s why I’m excited that we have such a diverse group of people participating; everyone will get to offer their own perspective on how these things intersect in their own lives. Attendees can expect, first of all, not to be just passive attendees! Everyone is a participant at Sex 2.0. The focus is on interaction and discussion, rather than sitting back while “experts” talk at you. One of the fundamental concepts here is that everyone has things to teach and to learn. We have sessions scheduled on topics ranging from erotic writing to queer identity online to the effects the internet has had on the escorting industry, and much, much more!
Thanks, Cory!
HOWTO: Make a Sex 2.0 condom do double-duty
Here’s a helpful tutorial regarding the nifty Sex 2.0 condoms:
I’ll spare you an angst-ridden paragraph about how I hate seeing myself on video. I’m trying to get over that.
And feel free to repost! Grab the embed code here.
Bullet list
…because I’m too tired* to do anything else. Sometimes cop-outs can work, though.
- As you may have seen if you follow my Twitter updates, I got into a little fender-bender yesterday morning. To be specific, I freakin’ backed into a parked car. :P Oh well… not much damage was done to either vehicle. Mine is getting repaired Thursday, and it costs less than my insurance deductible, so no need for a claim on my part. If the other driver has an issue, my insurance will take care of it. J. put a silver lining on the situation by pointing out that my new car would inevitably get dinged up at some point anyway, so at least I’ve gone ahead and gotten it out of the way - actively!
- We’re going to court Thursday. That’s all I’m going to say right now, but I’ll say more afterward. It should certainly be interesting, one way or another.
- This is also happening on Thursday, and Rusty and I will be there. I’ll need to remember to bring my “I’m Blogging This” T-shirt with me to change into, in case we don’t have time to go home after court. Other ATL bloggers, come on out! It should be a rollicking good time, especially if Susan Capaluto (sp?) shows up. (And is it just me, or does anybody else wonder why the Equifax guy is on the panel? That seems random.)
- On Friday I’m heading to Boston (well, Cambridge) for the Women, Action & the Media conference. The keynote speakers are Helen Thomas and Haifa Zangana. I’m excited! I’ll get to meet some bloggers I’ve read for a while, and Dacia and I will be sharing a hotel room so we can be shut-ins when the socializing gets too overwhelming. And I’m looking forward to Dacia’s session on sex workers and media representation; after the past couple weeks, she should have plenty to talk about! (Not as if she didn’t already!)
- Apparently my site, like a lot of Dreamhost sites, was down for a few hours today. One of these days I’ll actually switch hosts, I swear. Anyway, this means my del.icio.us links didn’t get posted today, which annoys me, because I had some good ones. I’ll probably post them manually tomorrow, but in particular I wanted to point out that this post really resonated with me, and I might have more to say on it later.
- I cross-posted my “Why I Quit Download Squad” treatise on BlogHer.
- Be sure to register for Sex 2.0 by Friday if you want to pay $40 instead of $50! Meanwhile, I will try not to freak out too much between now and April 12.
- I swear I’ll blog about the manicure thing one day. I have lots to say, oh yes. Dacia and I are getting manis and pedis Friday night in Boston. So maybe I’ll blog about it then!
* I’m a naturally sleepy person, but the Lexapro has made me feel downright fatigued. I don’t like that one bit. So this morning I cut the pill in half, and it seemed to help a bit. Hopefully that’ll be the way to go.
Sundries
Today Rusty and I went to Frolicon… for about an hour.
Last year I was really annoyed that Frolicon was the same weekend as PodCamp NYC, which meant we’d miss it because we already had plans to go to New York. I interviewed Beth, one of the organizers, and she was a total sweetheart. I vowed that we wouldn’t miss Frolicon 2008! (And yet I wrote about it on Radlanta as if I knew what I was talking about.)
But as the day got closer, I was less and less excited about it. I guess after going to more events along similar themes, I had more of an expectation that this wouldn’t be my cup of tea. Really I only went in order to put a stack of Sex 2.0 postcards and condoms on the swag* table. Then I got mad at myself because I didn’t think ahead enough to include that stuff in the swag bags everyone gets at registration; there were postcards in there for Whippersnappers, Swinging Atlanta, SELF, and other groups/events like that. Why didn’t I think of that? I was so pissed.
Still, hopefully some new registrants will come out of the stack on the table. As we were leaving I saw a few people stopping by and looking at stuff. One guy started talking to me about Camille Paglia as I was putting the postcards on the table. That was kind of weird.
So yeah, we only stayed for about an hour, and most of that time was spent paying way too much money for a mediocre buffet lunch. What can I say, fetish/kink/BDSM stuff just doesn’t do it for me. In fact, it kind of irritates me. More power to people who are into it - some of my best friends, etc. This isn’t a slam or judgment on folks who like that stuff. I’m just not one of ‘em. I like fucking. I can’t be bothered with all the costumes and role-playing and master/slave this and foot-worship that and yadda yadda yadda.
Speaking of fucking, we briefly considered going to Trapeze tonight, because a couple who’d commented on our Trapeze review podcast said they were going, and we’re interested in meeting them at some point. But I’m still on the tail-end of the haze while my body chemistry adjusts to Lexapro, plus I’m on my period, so we figured it’s not the best night to go. I wouldn’t be feeling up to it because of the meds, but also that period thing… it’s like one of the last taboos. In Best Sex Writing 2008, Trixie Fontaine writes about her problems with getting credit card billing companies for her period porn site… it’s considered “extreme,” and even though they’ll deal with pretty much anything else you can imagine (and plenty of stuff you can’t), somehow a woman’s period is THE GROSSEST THING EVER. What the hell! Why is it such a big fucking deal?? (That’s a rhetorical question, so don’t bother trying to come up with an answer. THERE ISN’T ONE.) Seriously. If you can’t handle the fact that yes, most women get their period every month, and no, your dick won’t shrivel up and fall off if you fuck her during that time… then just turn in your Sex Card right now, because you don’t deserve it.
Well, I was going to write about how I got a manicure the other day, but I can’t think of a clever transition and this is long enough already. So I’ll write about the manicure thing tomorrow, because it’s likely to spiral off into a tangent about class and expectations and social stratification. Betcha can’t wait!
* I’ve recently learned that the spelling “schwag” refers to marijuana. “Swag” is actually an acronym… “stuff we all get!”