Being Amber Rhea

If you haven’t read Amanda’s series of posts chronicling her now-completed stint at Bella’s, you are really missing out on some of the best, most insightful writing in a long time. So get on over there and read it. I’ll wait.

Tonight as I was trying to catch up on my almost 300 unread posts in Bloglines (I’ve been on a self-mandated break from reading many blogs other than a select few; this crap really made me feel down in the dumps about blogging for a while), I noticed that someone else, heretofore unknown-to-me blogger Mariko Passion, has now started a journal of her experiences at Bella’s. Cool! Maybe Amanda has started a trend.

Recently I had dinner w/ Lia of Star Light Ministries. And, no surprise, she is awesome. At one point during our extended dinner conversation, we were talking about all the assumptions that are made about women in sex work, and the problem of assuming that the goal of a ministry for sex workers is for the workers to “get out” of sex work. Because as Lia said, that’s judging the work they do and therefore judging them. Plus it’s just the same old stereotypes - obviously no woman would want to be in sex work, obviously they would all do something else if only they had the chance, etc. ad nauseum. I said that even though I feel like it’s not a popular thing to say in activist communities, because I feel like it makes me look like I’m being selfish (ah, that old meme in my head) or shifting the focus, the truth is that beyond just being irritated w/ these assumptions on general principles, I also take them personally. Sex work is something I’ve been drawn to for a long time - at least 10 years - and although as of now I haven’t actually done anything about it, I do take offense to the notion that there must be some pathological explanation for my interest in sex work. I know myself, I know how I feel, and I know that I feel that sex work is something that is interesting/appealing to me. You don’t have to understand it, but hey, I don’t understand why some people want to become lawyers or sales reps or flight attendants, so there you go. I’m smart, responsible, self-aware, capable - and I shouldn’t have to go into this defensive mode of justifying myself, but that’s how it always happens.

Lia asked why I hadn’t tried sex work. With stripping, my answer used to be* that I couldn’t walk in heels, much less dance (with or without heels). That’s obviously no longer a problem, but my issues with it now are:

• I don’t know of any non-smoking strip clubs in Atlanta. Being around cigarette smoke for extended periods of time, especially in poorly-ventilated areas, gives me a pounding headache and makes me feel generally like shit.
• I hate approaching strangers. I really just can’t do it; I get panicky about it. So obviously a job where I have to hustle for lap dances isn’t a good fit for me.
• The bullshit. We’ll come back to this in a minute.

As for escorting or even stuff like FBSM, when Lia asked why I’d never done it, my answer was much shorter: “I’m afraid of getting arrested.” That’s it, plain and simple. And more specifically, I’m afraid of getting arrested and being victimized by the cops. Insert here yet another diatribe about the importance of decriminalization of prostitution.

(To be fair, there are other issues w/ escorting in particular, like the fact that it seems like you have to pretend to give a shit about what the clients are talking about, really really enjoy their company and hang on their every fascinating word… and as Dacia has said about herself, I, too, have no poker face. I have tons of respect for people who can do it, but I just can’t. But that’s not really relevant, because there are many other kinds of sex work that are vaguely escort-like but not as focused on being a companion.)

Lia said she thought I should (only if I wanted to, of course) do what Amanda was doing: try a brief stint at a legal brothel and just see how it goes. I told her there’s no way I would do that. Why? Because of the bullshit.

Just read Amanda’s posts and you’ll see what I’m talking about. The nickel-and-diming with all kinds of fees. The customers trying to lowball you all the time. The cabin fever. Having to do shifts on the damn CB radio.

And the stuff that’s not just annoying, but potentially dangerous: The lack of adequate security. The creepy (yet required by law - ’cause prostitution is legal and therefore the girls are safe, see!) doctor. The drunkenness of customers, and of people to whom you’re entrusting your safety. The lack of easy access to an exit in case of an emergency. The pressure to potentially put one’s health at risk for the sake of not letting “money” walk out the door.

Obviously all jobs have their annoyances. But these are above and beyond what I could put up with. The second set, the ones that are downright dangerous, are obviously conditions that no job should have, ever. The first set, the “annoyances,” all exemplify a huge pet peeve of mine, something that just drives me up a wall: micromanagement by people on little power trips.

It seems to me that that’s what’s behind a lot of this stuff. It’s the same at strip clubs, with the house fees and drink quotas and tipping every damn person on staff… on and on… to me it reeks of people trying to control things and make themselves feel like Oooh Big Important People in whatever tiny way possible. Insecurity. Bred out of a stigmatized industry, not surprisingly. It seems like a vicious cycle.

Major respect to Amanda for doing this and documenting it. What she’s doing is extremely important, and she is an amazing person to have the patience to deal with it at all. I really can’t convey how much respect I have for her w/ this series.

One thing’s sure, her posts have confirmed what I’d suspected for a long time: if I were to be an escort (or whatever), I’d be independent, no doubt about it. Of course I have plenty of issues w/ freelancing in general, but in this case it is definitely the way to go, no question.

* And just look at the comments on that thread for a perfect example of the “explanations on demand” thing. It’s crazy-making, I tell you.

From Monica at the $pread Blog:

Again, what other profession would we do this with? “I was going to help with the open heart surgery for my article, but…at the last minute I threw up and ran out of the room.” “I was going to sit on the 10th floor’s ceiling beams with the construction workers so I could bond with them over lunch, but my fear of heights was just too great, so I just stayed on the second floor, crying and shaking in my hard hat.”

A-freakin’-men.

Amanda Brooks is starting work at a brothel in Nevada, and blogging about the experience. Having been at this blogging thing so long, the impulse comes naturally to me, so if I were to take on a new experience like that, I’d blog the whole thing, too! Anyway, her first post on the subject is up today. I suggest everyone give it a read and subscribe to her RSS feed. As I said in a comment on her post: “It should be illuminating for people who talk out of their ass about brothels without having ever been to one (much less worked in one), and also provide helpful information for women considering work in a brothel.”

One thing I’m interested in hearing about is if there is pressure from clients for the workers to not use condoms and other safer sex methods. Since the workers are required to undergo health tests (and I assume have screenings at regular intervals), clients could potentially try to use this as leverage for requesting sex without a condom - which, of course, shows a complete disregard for the health of the worker, and a ridiculous level of arrogance from the client. (What, he doesn’t have his STI test papers at the ready? You don’t say!) I know this is a concern SWOP and other sex workers’ rights groups have raised, so I’m interested in hearing if it is a problem at the brothel, or if there are strict rules in place requiring safer sex barriers.

Regarding this, here is what I sent to whoever receives the messages from Stop Porn Culture’s contact form:

Dear SPC,

As a feminist and social justice activist, I have serious concerns about your slideshow, “Who Wants To Be A Porn Star?”

I am sure you are familiar with 2257 regulations, the set of guidelines for enforcing record-keeping laws by primary and secondary producers of sexually explicit material. (Full regulations here.) The law specifies that producers must obtain and keep on file proof of age for every model appearing in their productions, to ensure that no minors appear in sexually explicit films or photographs. Web sites containing sexually explicit material include a statement of compliance with 2257 regulations, and who to contact for verification of their records.

I am deeply troubled by the fact that I find no such statement on the Stop Porn Culture! web site. Where is the assurance that the women in the slideshow are of age? And beyond the legal implications, there are also the larger ethical considerations. SPC claims to oppose the objectification and exploitation of women. Yet, were the performers in the slideshow contacted and asked whether they consent to have their images used in the slideshow? If not, then SPC is guilty of exploiting these women’s images for SPC’s own gain. It is dehumanizing to simply use an image of a woman in porn as a poster child for a cause. SPC, of all places, should understand that these are actual women who exist and have lives outside of the images on the screen. Does their voice not matter? Is it more important to make a point, even if it means denying the agency of the very women SPC dubiously claims to want to help?

I find this extremely problematic.

- Amber Rhea

I would have said more (I certainly wanted to!) but I felt I should keep it short so they’d be less likely to just pass over it completely.

I urge everyone to contact SPC and express your concerns about their flagrant hypocrisy.

Meant to post this stuff sooner, but that is the eternal blogger’s refrain, isn’t it?

First, a must-read from Monica at the $pread blog:

Douglas had some pretty amazing things to say, starting with an explanation of the Max Hardcore charges that highlighted the wrongdoing of his distributors, Jaded Video. Basically, Jaded sold a “Euro” version of a Hardcore film to a US Federal Agent and sent the video through US mail, which was what allowed the obscenity charges to be brought against Hardcore. Of course, the real guilty party here is Jaded, not Max Hardcore, just as if a 7-11 sells beer to minors, 7-11 is guilty, not the good makers of Nattie Light. Jaded was granted immunity from prosecution.

As if all of those details weren’t scary enough, the jurors were exempt from watching the entire DVD, and instead the prosecution selected scenes for viewing. This is the most distressing aspect of the case, because it violates the “taken as a whole” stipulation of the Miller test. The jurors didn’t see behind the scenes footage demonstrating affection between performers, female performers smiling and able-bodied after the shoot, how scenes are edited, etc; they just saw excerpts selected for maximum shock value. Max Hardcore will appeal, but while he’s waiting for his follow up trial, by estimate of his lawyer, he’ll spend at least 30 months in federal prison. FEDERAL. PRISON. For, according to the DOJ: “anal penetration, urination, insertion of an entire hand into a vagina or anus, vomiting, and severe violence.” Ok, so severe violence sounds bad (although that’s a vague term which has no meaning without an actual description of what went on) but as far as pissplay, anal sex, and fisting go…? That merits federal prison? It sounds like an average weekend at my house. (I’m kidding. Maybe)

So this brings me to the point of why anyone besides those in the porn business should care about the Max Hardcore conviction. There are obvious reasons: the jaw-droppingly brazen trampling of the legal system, the tax payer money spent on these sort of trials, the possible disruption in supply of porn, if you’re an avid porn consumer. But sex workers of all walks should be especially alarmed, because when any type of sexual material or right is successfully attacked, it’s like another block laid in the wall separating us from the rest of the world. And the sad fact is, I feel like it’s pretty rare to see any sex worker solidarity in these situations.

Ren has an excellent (as usual) post on the matter as well. And at Pro-Porn Activism, Anthony wonders what the effect will be on the rest of the adult industry.

Ren has touched on this before; just look at the terrible things that happen when prostitution is decriminalized…

The number of sex workers in New Zealand does not appear to have increased since legislation decriminalising prostitution became law, according to a new report.

The Prostitution Law Review Committee was set up to report on the Prostitution Reform Act 2003 three to five years after the Act came into force.

…

The committee said a Christchurch School of Medicine survey of sex workers found that more than 90 per cent felt they had legal rights under the Act.

More than 60 per cent felt they were more able to refuse to provide commercial sexual services to a particular client since the enactment of the law.

Prior to the Act, the illicit status of the sex industry meant sex workers were open to coercion and exploitation by managers, pimps and clients.

Research indicated there had been “some improvement” in employment conditions “but this is by no means universal”.

…

Associate justice minister Lianne Dalziel said the report showed the Act had had a positive effect on the health and safety of sex workers and had not led to an increase in numbers of sex workers as predicted by critics of the law reform.

Normalize it? Legitimize it? Perish the thought! We care about women, after all!

-Oh wait. Yeah, for all you would-be “allies?” See, if you actually cared, you would be in favor of decrim. It’s really not that complicated.

(Via Cunning Minx.)

Yet another excellent Naked City column from Ren, wherein she answers the oh-so-frequently asked question, “What’s the hardest part of your job?” An excerpt:

Well, I can say this truthfully and with authority. It’s not the weird hours. It’s not the seven-inch heels. It’s not the fasting and enemas before an anal scene. It’s not the rough fucking, or the getting groped by drunk guys, or body upkeep, or getting throat-fucked. It’s not the hustle, it’s not the strangers, it’s not the getting naked, it’s not the physical work. It’s not the waxing, it’s not the tit job, it’s not the scrubbing cum out of my hair. It’s not the names, it’s not STD testing, it’s not the crawling on all fours to pick up tip money off the floor.

It’s the objectification. From normal people. With their normal lives and abnormal questions. That is the hardest part, and it’s not even a hard part that feels good. I like my job, I have bad days, but mostly I love what I do, and I take pride in my work. The hardest part is normal people not getting that, then asking me how old was I when I first took it in the ass, how many guys have I fucked, and do I know where they could score some blow? It’s being made someone’s argument against my industry. It’s being not quite human to a whole lot of people. Normal people. Who I find myself liking less and less each day.

This post at Bound, Not Gagged really touched me.

Her death has been heavy on the hearts of many a sex worker, indicative as it is of this juggernaut of a system that could grind us into nothing if we get caught up. For me, I think her death translates into real fear. A fear that is about fighting the good fight, and still going down. If we manage to survive and thrive in a crazy industry; if we live ethically as sex workers and use all our faculties to operate our businesses and maintain what we believe is right, we still might end up dead. Ms. Palfrey was a resourceful woman. A woman connected, perhaps dangerously, to big players in the government. And she got royally fucked. Someone, somewhere said, we’re going to bring her down. We’re going to make an example of this one. And they didn’t stop until she was swinging from a rope.

…

I regret deeply now that I, we, did not do something more concrete to support her in her struggle. It is a bare and unpleasant truth that the moment a sex worker comes under legal fire, s/he becomes untouchable. Abandoned by clients, friends, etc…how did Palfrey end up in her mother’s home? Why wasn’t she staying with me? Where were her friends? Where was her support network?

This blog was begun as a response to her original arrest. She has, inadvertently, been an enormous catalyst in the sex workers rights movement. And now she’s dead.

What the fuck.

Keep Deborah Jeane Palfrey, and what her death means, in your thoughts starting at 7:00 p.m. (Atlanta time) today, for the next 24 hours. And all the time, really.

Reposting this press release from Bound, Not Gagged until I have time to finish the other Palfrey post (not to mention the “why feminism needs to focus on women” post) that have been in draft mode for several days now.

—

New York, NY - The activists at Sex Workers Action New York (SWANK), Sex Workers Outreach Project New York (SWOP-NYC), Prostitutes of New York (PONY) and the nationally-based Desiree Alliance are saddened that Deborah Jeane Palfrey, also known as the D.C. Madam, passed away on May 1st in an apparent suicide. We - prostitutes, strippers, pro-dommes, porn stars, sex experts, and allies - extend our sympathies to all of those hurt by this most recent chapter of the “Pink Scare,” in which oppressive legislation and social stigma partner to generate hysteria around what, for us, can prove to be simply a decent way to make a living.

The circumstances surrounding Ms. Palfrey’s death suggest that Americans reconsider the current state and federal policies that govern sex work, as well as the stigmatization and sensational treatment of those who participate in this industry. From New York to California, daily reports of Pink Scare-fueled police busts, e-stings and raids, even at legal venues like strip clubs and dungeons, have reached a fever pitch. These oppressive patterns regularly marginalize and terrorize our communities, with barely a headline to show for the mass arrests. In contrast, coverage of high-profile cases include yellow journalism exposés published at the expense of sex workers’ privacy, dignity and livelihood. In an interview with Lori Price, it was Ms. Palfrey who said, “Without question in my mind, escort and adult service businesses. . . are being used as the new weapon of choice in American politics.” The public figures implicated in this type of case often receive little more than a slap on the wrist and a second chance from a forgiving public. Ironically, among the exposed we regularly find the very same lawmakers and other insiders who claim to protect people from vice through moralizing legislation. Former State Department official Randall L. Tobias was a Palfrey patron, though he implemented the abstinence earmark in programs such as the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR) and, with it, the “Anti-Prostitution Pledge” that has resulted in diminished funding for sex worker-run organizations. Annually, our government spends millions in taxpayer money to apprehend and prosecute participants in the sex trade, while more effective policies like harm reduction-based approaches, including the multiplication of living wage alternatives, are dramatically under-utilized.

In both the highly-publicized scandals and under-documented daily struggles, many sex workers now face financial ruin, emotional hardship and social opprobrium at the hands of the Pink Scare simply because their work, though it takes place between consenting adults, may be illegal and, to some, may be offensive. In two instances associated with Palfrey’s case, Ms. Palfrey and her former employee, Ms. Britton, oppressive laws and stigma cost the implicated their very lives. Why did Ms. Palfrey die? In response to this question, an activist with the International Union of Sex Workers wrote, “Whether she died by her own hand or her suicide is a cover for murder, she has been killed by the state.” Given the highly political nature of these events, SWANK, SWOP-NYC, PONY and the Desiree Alliance call for an independent investigation of the circumstances surrounding Ms. Palfrey’s untimely death. Furthermore, we, as activists and advocates, would like to stress in this instance that the criminalization of sex workers and our labor only drives us further underground, making us and our dependents more vulnerable to client and police violence, and even death, as we are further isolated. The unfortunate events of the D.C. scandal bring many of these broader issues into sharper focus. It is high time that we challenge the morals and laws that harm so many, so deeply, with so few gains and so many lives destroyed.

All I have time for today are blockquote posts, but here’s another one everyone should read, from Elizabeth at Sex in the Public Square:

I no longer think that the exposing of clients is going to be the source of any great reduction in the stigma attached to sex work. Why? Because they always apologize.

They apologize by admitting their “sins” a la David Vitter or they apologize and resign their posts, a la Eliot Spitzer, but they always apologize, and by doing so they reinforce the impression that consciously and explicitly exchanging sex for money is wrong, and they reinforce the stigma. In fact they often refer to that stigma when they include in their apologies their regret for bringing shame on their families.

Note that they do not apologize for any mistreatment of the workers. They apologize for being clients in the first place.

So my new call on Labor Day is a call to the clients and not a call to the workers. Clients of the sex workers of the world: stand up for the people whose work you are paying for. Treat those workers respectfully and protect their safety and don’t apologize for paying for their services.

Yes, you may have much to apologize for:

Apologize if you have actively worked to keep the services you pay for criminalized.

Apologize if you have said insulting, demeaning or paternalistic things about sex workers.

Apologize if you have contributed to the shaming of sex workers.

Apologize if you have jeopardized the health of a sex worker.

Apologize if you have committed violence against a sex worker.

And by all means apologize if you have lied to your partner about sex you are having with other people.

But for being a client of a sex worker?

Please, no more apologies. We can’t afford them.

Via Melissa on Twitter, I just found out that Deborah Jeane Palfrey (a.k.a. the “DC Madam”) has committed suicide.

Fuck. Fuck. Shit.

I am sitting here at my desk at work, fighting back tears.

No, I didn’t know her. But I’m grieving, because I have some humanity in me, unlike the media and judicial system and court of public opinion that tore her life apart.

Earlier today I was contemplating finishing a long-stored-in-draft-mode post about my fear/issues surrounding death. I think I’ll put it off for a while longer now, but this just shows… I mean… I don’t even know how to say it, but just, she’s gone now.

What will it take, people? How many more women have to die before sex workers are actually considered human? How much longer will we excuse - or, more accurately, applaud - exploitation by the media of women who “step out of line” in some way? How much longer will we keep denying that the sexual double standard isn’t just an annoyance, it actually kills?

People’s - oh who am I kidding, women’s; it’s not like any of the men involved have experienced anything even remotely comparable - lives have been ruined because of this case. And now the woman at the forefront of it is dead.

Her blood is on the hands of lawmakers and the media, and no I don’t even care if I sound like the religious guy (Pat Robertson?) who was blaming 9/11 on teh ghey… IT IS TRUE in this situation.

Fuck you. Fuck all of you who want to pick apart sex workers’ lives, dehumanize them, get the juicy details for a good story, then throw them out like yesterday’s trash when the story goes stale.

Deborah Jeane Palfrey is dead, and I think I’m just going to have to ignore all MSM (and a lot of new media as well) because if I see any salacious “tell-all” stories in light of this, I am going to go ballistic.

Bound, Not Gagged was started in the wake of the original breaking of the “DC Madam scandal”… and that is where I will be turning for information and updates. And I think now is a fitting time to revisit the words on their page, “Why a Blog for Sex Workers?”

When sex work is in the press, the coverage most always brings to the surface more issues than a single organization’s statement can address. As advocates, it would be impossible to make a statement that truly reflects the voices of this dynamic and diverse community.

BoundnotGagged is a space for these voices to be heard. It is a place for sex workers to respond to the way that they’re portrayed in the media, the way that sexist laws are used to undermine women’s rights and their feelings about the ethical dilemma of exposing a client list. The issues are deep and broad. The stories are powerful and frustrating.

BoundnotGagged is our way of responding to the injustice and hypocrisy that keeps sex workers’ voices muted and faces hidden. Sex workers may be in hiding, but they refuse to be silent.

Also, here are some excellent interviews with which to remember Palfrey:

• Interview With Deborah Jeane Palfrey, AKA The DC Madam - Radical Vixen’s podcast interview w/ Palfrey
• The D.C. Madam Speaks! - Susie Bright’s interview w/ Palfrey

And now I have to continue going on about my day as if everything is okay.

Rest in peace, Ms. Palfrey.

ETA: Noteworthy excerpt from Radical Vixen’s interview with Palfrey (as printed in $pread magazine):

Some of the attorneys that I have had and that are no longer in my life or will not be soon have said things to me like, “Jeane, don’t you just go to prison for 8 months? You’ll be out in 8 months. It’s going to take at least 8 months to fight it. I thought this person was the biggest buffoon- and he’s an attorney. Only a buffoon would say [to] give up your liberty for 8 months. I wouldn’t give up my liberty for 8 minutes. I’ve had people say, “Don’t say anything, don’t give any press conferences, don’t speak up, just be quiet, don’t aggravate the situation.” Don’t aggravate the situation? You’ve got to be kidding me. These people can come after me, destroy me, take every shot they possibly can at me, and I’m supposed to just sit back and be quiet and dutiful and well mannered?

That’s why I’m doing this interview with you. These people who are telling me, “Just take it,” these people scare me to death. I just don’t understand them.

ETA, pt. 2: What Dacia said:

These men spent a few weeks being raked across hot coals and being the targets of gentle ribbing from colleagues. There were cries of “hypocrite!” echoing all across the American media, but just beneath that is a resigned shrug: boys will be boys.

But if boys will be boys, whores will be punished. Deborah Jean Palfrey went to trial. And now she’s dead.

It saddens and angers me that this is Palfrey’s end, that she saw no easy way out other than suicide, and that women have to pay such a high price for their sexual and economic sins (especially when the two are combined), when men get slaps on the wrist.

ETA, pt. 3: See also, Anthony:

I would like to say that I’m surprised…but I’m not…because this is the ultimate (if to the extreme) means to which our sex-negative society deals with women who challenge the status quo when it comes to our hypocritical sexual mores. It’s much easier to drive the woman to suicide or simply murder her than it is to take a realistic look at how our laws and social mores against consensual adult sex (for free or for pay) do far more destruction and degradation than the actual sex acts and services that are bought and sold.

(That’s right, GenderBorgians, I said “acts” and “services”. not “bodies”; women who do sex work are not comparable to slaves, and they still own their own bodies, regardless of whether you like what they do with them.)

Like the Duke University rape accuser who gets slimed and virtually raped over and over again in the media because she dared to even make the claim that she was raped (and NO, MRA jackals and all other “White pity” fools, this is NOT permission to send me your half-baked comments on that case, either).

Like the rape crisis center owner who decided that a woman like Renegade Evolution should be denied the right to even counsel women who have suffered from abuse….merely because she might defile the center with her clients.

Like the cops in LA who mocked and laughed at and dehumanized an arrested street hooker into wetting her pants because they could only see her as an “object” to be used and manipulated for their benefit. (But I guess that since they were trying to get prostitution off the streets, that makes it OK for some so-called radicalfeminists, right???)

Like every Goddess-damn porn starlet, sex worker, adult model, and merely overtly sexual woman who has to face the full stigma of “slut-baiting” for simply not being as “pure” or “chaste” or “decent” for the public taste. Not even a young adolescent like Hannah Montana is immune from the anti-sex gaze; lest even sweet virginhood is defiled by her actress character flashing a bra for her boyfriend.

And all this done in the name of “protecting women and children”, no less.

…and the inimitable Susie:

I know how pissed you were. This was an act of revenge, and I know who you’re determined to haunt.

You were righteously furious at all the men who “walked away.”

That included the esteemed gents on your client list: Louisiana fundamentalist, Senator David Vitter. Abstinence Ambassador Randall Tobias, who squashed AIDS funds all over the world. “Shock and Awe” war profiteer, Harlan Ullman.

And that was just the expendable layer. None of them were charged with anything; all are living quite comfortably, in particular because they have no conscience whatsoever.

I first read this amazing, powerful, inspirational post by Jill Brenneman a few weeks ago, but I rediscovered it this morning while combing through my feed reader.

It’s hard to find a portion to quote, because the it’s imperative that you read it in its entirety. Here is an excerpt, but please, read the whole thing.

But we are fighting for social justice, we are fighting against oppression, we are fighting for human, civil and labor rights for reasons and those are often being missed by the media or the messages are being hijacked by the prohibitionists and their misguided conflagrations and stereotypes. Prohibitionist researchers who were never sex workers and know little about them other than their 2 hour interviews with loaded questions slanted for desired results. I’ve been to the big prohibitionist conferences and the biggest topics tend to be the number of stars of the hotel rating, how disappointing the eggs were at the continental breakfast or that their hotel suites had bad color schemes. I’ve been to their conferences and been given the list of prohibited words, phrases and ideologies that will be stricken from the record if used and/or lead to expulsion from the conference. These are some of the reasons I left that movement in 2002. I’ve never seen that kind of garbage at sex worker rights meetings conferences, events, even if those same events are nothing more than a meeting at an unheated, poorly lit space that some other org is letting us borrow, with no meal service other than what we bring for ourselves, but we are there because we are working on issues, social change and fighting oppression. Not because we are being funded by the USDOJ to stay in Washington DC Hotels after having to suffer the “indignity” of flying in coach because the Government wouldn’t agree to pay first class as some of the suffering prohibitionists did in 2002.

I’ve never known a more passionate, tolerant, empathetic, and authentic group of people than I have met in the sex worker rights movement. There is a great amount of humanity in our movement. Let’s make sure media sees that. Yes I suffered in the sex industry and as a child. But I want to choose my own path, my own career choices, and determine the propriety of my own experiences not have them reframed as some prohibitionist based projects would do for me. We don’t need to be rescued, we need fucking rights and the people who best know this are the sex workers themselves, not the politicians, not the researchers, not the media.

So everybody knows about this Eliot Spitzer bullshit by now. Of course, I have plenty to say about it.

There’s the obvious point that the problem in the Spitzer situation is not “OMG he paid for sex!!1!1″ but the utter hypocrisy of it, given his history of prosecuting prostitution cases. There’s also the fact that he’ll get off with a ruined political career (if even that), while the women whose services he paid for will possibly be arrested on felony charges, jailed, and for any who are not U.S. citizens, deported; and the real-life hardships of these women will go unacknowledged by the media except as objects to be used for moral grandstanding or sophomoric titillation.

But for now, I want to talk about language. Because, as I’ve mentioned before, words matter.

Yesterday on the way home from work, Rusty and I were discussing the terminology the mainstream media - hell, pretty much all media - uses when discussing sex work. In particular, we were dissecting the terms “high-class hooker” and “high-priced” hooker. Both of those terms carry a mountain of assumptions and implications.

“High-class hooker” automatically sets up the person in question as an exception. Jen said that she doesn’t think describing someone as high-class necessarily implies that everyone else is low-class, but rather “just average.” Well, of course it doesn’t imply that everyone else is low-class, but it does set up the need for a low-class corollary. And more importantly, it sets up a hierarchy of high, average, low - and who defines what constitutes criteria for each class? It’s a nasty, divisive, insidious tactic. It’s classic classism… because of course no one would ever want to be considered “low class.” (Queer Dewd has written about this phenomenon much more extensively/intelligently, so check her blog for more.)

Making a point to designate a particular sex worker as “high-class” serves to differentiate her from most people’s idea of what a prostitute is: a street worker. Street workers may in fact be the most visible element of prostitution - often because they are associated with other problems such as drug use, violence, and more - and the media certainly does nothing to dispel the popular impression of “prostitute” as analogous to “street prostitute.” However, street workers constitute only about 20% of all prostitutes. So yet again, the media reinforces a stereotype and popular assumption that is false.

Rusty said that while “high-class hooker” is total bullshit, he could see how someone could make a case for “high-priced hooker” being apt. I can see how someone could make a case for it - but the case would be faulty and laden with unquestioned societal assumptions.

First of all, the hooker herself is not for sale, as is implied by applying the adjective “high-priced” to her. Using the term “high-priced hooker” reinforces the rhetoric about sex workers “selling their bodies,” which is so often used by both conservatives and radical feminists. The fact that so many people simply accept this idea of sex workers selling their bodies is indicative of a deeper sexual more in our society: for a woman, having sex with a man constitutes at transfer of ownership. (Look at Purity Balls for a particularly creepy example of this belief in action.)

It’s bullshit, of course. A prostitute is no more selling her body than is a seamstress, a massage therapist, a professional athlete, a mechanic, a pianist… you get the point. A sex worker provides a service. (We do live in a service economy, after all.) Clients pay for that service. They do not own the worker. They do not, to use an analogy Ren has used, buy her like you’d buy a car and then drive her home and park her in their garage. That is ownership. Exchanging money for sexual services is nowhere close.

Finally, “high-priced hooker” carries the assumption that the worker in question is somehow over-charging, or charging more than most other workers. I don’t really know what’s going on with that assumption… should she charge less? Is she slightly more respectable because she charges more? But the bottom line is, it’s bullshit anyway, because nine times out of ten the people described as “high-priced hookers” aren’t charging rates out of the ordinary; they’re charging a competitive market rate. It makes me wonder, what the hell do people expect to pay?

More later, when I get time.

So far I’ve been too busy to write anything, but Ren has a great post that everyone should read, because it talks about something that I think a lot of people fail to consider in the discussions of decriminalization and destigmatization.

How’s my credit? Well, what credit? I have one, exactly one, credit card that I use for emergencies and travel (air miles). It is paid off on time, because oddly enough, while many credit card companies will bend over backwards to give you a credit card, somehow that changes if your occupation is “stripper”. So I try to keep the thing paid off. I have primarily for years used cash for everything: down payments, daily living, medical expenses- cash in full often- because it is easier often to hand over x amount of dollars for a dental visit or a car or any number of things when on all those little forms they ask name, age, occupation, job title, company…and your answers include stripper, porn performer, or god, goddess and all the little deities…an illegal aspect of the sex industry- a job you cannot write down at all. In the case of the window fellow…I handed him cash for the down payment, did not answer any of those little questions, and Mr. E is the one whose occupation, job title, and credit information went on those little forms…

You see, cash works for us, because you hand cash over and take your purchase. Qualifying for a car loan, a home loan, a home equity loan, a line of credit period, getting approved for an apartment or rental property, even if you do make good money in the sex biz? In many parts of the US, and the world in general, no easy task. Nor is getting insurance of any sort, or any other manner of little things a lot of people take for granted. And not only do you often not get those things, you get to deal with the looks, questions, and speculations of the people who you are filling out those little forms for. It’s lovely, really.

How about when you apply for a second straight job, or leave the sex biz for a straight job? Invariably, potential employers want to know what your other or previous line of work is/was…and my my, can’t that be interesting! Sure, in some fields, no one really cares. It’s easy enough to grab a gig in retail, or as wait staff, or a bartender, even as an office hand in various businesses, but a real office position? In a “straight” industry? Even if it is a job a trained monkey can do? You lie. You don’t tell other people what your other/former job is. You make up previous employment if you have too, and hope they don’t bother to check references. How about school? Well, I can tell you both professors and fellow students look at you oddly if sex work is paying the bills. And sure, sometimes one can hide what job they are in…in fact…most people can for a time, but sooner or later, people find out. And they talk.

And I suppose I don’t need to go over the just generalized opinions people have about sex workers again, do I?

She says “it’s the little things,” but I would argue that this stuff is BIG.

This is the stuff that folks in the middle-class “straight” world take for granted. You buy a new car and write down your occupation on the loan application… no big deal, right? It doesn’t get a second thought. See, the fact that this is almost never discussed - because it’s never thought of to begin with - is the very definition of privilege. And all of us who don’t work in the adult industry have that privilege.

Cross-posted from the Sex in the Public Square forum on Sex Work, Trafficking and Human Rights. Comments are disabled so as to force you people to go comment over there instead, where lots of good discussion is going on.

—

This is a question that’s been bouncing around in my mind for a few days:

“Would sex work be so profitable if it weren’t stigmatized or criminalized?”
Example:

Sex work is often an attractive option for single mothers, because they can earn more money and (sometimes) work fewer hours than they would at a retail or other service industry job, thereby allowing them greater economic stability and more time with their children. But to what extent is this attributable to the stigmatized - and, with prostitution specifically, criminalized - nature of sex work?

I think that if sex work were decriminalized and de-stigmatized, it would still offer attractive, competitive pay, for the same reasons that other professions that require specialized skills or training come with higher compensation - e.g., lawyers, doctors, etc. (No jokes about lawyers being stigmatized!) I do not think that if prostitution were decriminalized, for example, tons of women would suddenly flock to the profession; that argument holds about as much water as the argument that making emergency contraception available over the counter will encourage promiscuity.

However, I am curious to hear what others think about this question.

Seriously, again with this??

If you are pro-pornography or pro-prostitution, you are not a feminist. The concept behind feminism is equality for women and girls, and the eradication of violence against women. The sex industry in all its forms exists as a tool of violence against women and more than that, a tool to keep women subjugated and ‘in their place’. If you support a system which for the overwhelming majority destroys women and girls, you are not a feminist.

For. Fuck’s. Sake.

*headdesk*

Nina Hartley speaks the truth here.*

And to me it seems like common sense. I honestly cannot wrap my brain around what is so fucking difficult about this concept for so many legions of people. Some basic concepts here… 1) Sex workers are people. 2) If you want to help someone, the best way to help them is to first ask them what they need.

How is this not the most obvious thing ever? But I guess if you never even get to point #1, that makes point #2 downright unattainable.

Nina nails it, but the comments on YouTube are depressing and enraging as hell. I didn’t want to look. I knew they’d be a vat of toxic stew. But as I was looking for the embed code, my eyes drifted down the page and… well, it made me want to cry.

There’s been a lot of bullshit in my life lately. And when I see that kind of shit, it just makes me feel awful, to realize (again) that this is what a lot of people think. Yeah, you can say the internet brings out the dregs of humanity, and sure, that’s true in some cases. But so many people of all walks of life have these horrible ideas about sex workers… it’s NORMAL to think these things. That doesn’t make it okay. But it means that most people I encounter on a daily basis are harboring these thoughts, and that bothers me to know end and certainly contributes to my general wariness and lack of trust around people I don’t know very well.

It’s also happened that people have seemed to agree with me to my face, and then later I find out the awful shit they were saying when I wasn’t there, about sex workers, the sex industry, etc. It really makes me want to sever ties (and in some cases I have).

Anyway. Also, what Ren said:

And that is going to lead us right here: What is the plan, anyway? You know, a lot of us are taking hits for saying “The sex industry? It’s not going anywhere, so let’s work for harm reduction and getting those who want out the help they need, and leave those who want in alone…” So yeah…what is the Amazing, Super Secret Plan to Rid the World of the Sex Industry? We’re dying (figuratively and literally) to know. In the mean time, what with all the talk of not allowing it to be normalized, without ever accepting it as work, without ever giving sex workers any sort of legal status and voice…well, women are being abused, raped, killed, dehumanized, and marginalized. So I ask, in the quest to end the sex industry, are you willing to sacrifice the women working in it here and now to reach that goal…if it is even attainable? That is a question I’d really like to have answered, yet I suspect, such an answer will never come. My answer to that is obvious. No. I’m not. Especially when “the Plan” is never revealed, hence my support of harm reduction, programs for those who want out, aid, workplace safety, and why yes, decriminalization.

* Via Bound, Not Gagged.

TVPRA (Trafficking Victims Protection Act) 2007/11 passed the House of Representatives last Tuesday. The sections relating to “sex tourism” clearly conflate all sex work with sex trafficking, the consequences of which could be quite horrific for sex workers. There is the potential for massive arrests and long periods of prison time if workers are crossing borders to work. The legislation specifies up to 10 years for the worker and up to 30 years for the support staff.

In a practical sense (and for people who don’t have time to read all 126 pages of the bill), what does this mean? As Iamcuriousblue explains at the Pro-Porn Activism blog:

Existing legislation prohibits traveling abroad to purchase sex with minors; the new legislation expands this to include sex with consenting adults, even in countries where this is legal. (For example, an American who buys sex in an Amsterdam brothel would be subject to Federal prosecution back in the US.) Notably, it also criminalizes travel to or from the US to sell sexual services as well. (For example, a Montreal escort who travels to an American city to sell sex would be further criminalized under Federal law, in addition to existing local law.) Basically, it resurrects the Mann Act and internationalizes it.

Contact your Senators!!

[Via Bound, Not Gagged and Pro-Porn Activism]

December 17th is the 5th annual International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. This event was created to call attention to hate crimes committed against sex workers all over the globe.

Originally thought of by Dr. Annie Sprinkle and started by the Sex Workers Outreach Project USA in 2003 as a memorial and vigil for the victims of the Green River Killer in Seattle Washington, International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers has empowered workers from over 30 cities around the world to come together and organize against discrimination and remember victims of violence.

During the week of December 17, 2007, sex worker rights organizations will be staging actions and vigils to raise awareness about violence that is commonly committed against sex workers. The assault, battery, rape and murder of sex workers must end. Existing laws prevent sex workers from reporting violence. The stigma and discrimination that is perpetuated by prohibitionist laws has made violence against sex workers acceptable. Please join in drawing attention to this injustice around the world with the 5th annual International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers.

Please check out the new DEC 17 web site.

If you or your organization are holding an event, please email your info.

If your organization would like to help sponsor an event in your local area, please send your contact info.

Please go to the web site for Dr. Annie Sprinkle’s ‘10 Things You Can Do for International Day to end Violence Against Sex Workers.’

We encourage participants to carry red umbrellas on December 17 as a symbol of international solidarity for sex workers’ rights!

***Please post widely***

I linked to Dacia’s latest post about “feminist porn” in my del.cio.us links yesterday, but I had such a “yes yes YES that’s IT!” reaction to it that I feel compelled to quote liberally here…

To me, making feminist porn is not about what is actually shown on screen and much more about what is happening on the production end of things. This is very clearly an expression of my years working in the sex industry and working for sex workers’ rights, but like Petra says in the beginning of this paragraph, “our tastes on what we find sexy in the bedroom or on film differ.” We can have a whole argument about the nurture and nature of “taste” - but I don’t think liking or not liking specific acts can make or break a feminist.

I don’t care if porn shows a woman masturbating by herself (like in many of the Abby Winters photo sets and videos), a woman fucking a guy with a strap-on (like in The Bi Apple, a woman enthusiastically sucking cock (like in Erika’s films), or a pregnant woman getting fucked up the ass with a baseball bat (like in Belladonna’s Fucking Girls Again). What I do care about is: does that performer want to be there? Is the director/producer respecting her needs and paying her appropriately? Did she get blindsided by requests for acts she doesn’t want to do?

The answers to those questions determine whether or not the porn is feminist, sex-positive, and ethical for me, not what is happening on screen.

Do you get it now, people? Do you? I still do not know why this is a difficult concept, but clearly it is. And so these things must continue to be said, emphatically.

I might write more about this later. I need to crawl into bed now, though, because I got up at 6:00 a.m. on a Saturday.

A few weeks ago, Tristan Taormino sent me a copy of Chemistry 3, her latest film. Rusty and I watched it off and on whenever we had a free moment, and finally finished it before we left for vacation last week.

Chemistry 3 won Best Gonzo at the 2007 AVN Awards. I found this interesting because a lot of people equate gonzo with degradation and, basically, all the ‘bad’ in porn. But Chemistry is closer to the real meaning of gonzo than all that other stuff people equate with the term:

Gonzo pornography is a filming style of adult video. It is characterized by a filming style that attempts to place the viewer directly into the scene. The name is a reference to gonzo journalism, in which the reporter is part of the event taking place. By analogy, gonzo pornography puts the camera right into the action — often with one or more of the participants both filming and performing sexual acts — without the usual separation characteristic of conventional porn and cinema.

What I liked about Chemistry 3 was that it included lots of laughter and a generally laid-back, not-forced feel. That’s the whole point, of course; the three guys and three girls could fuck whom they wanted, when they wanted, and had cameras on hand to film as much of it themselves as they wanted.

There were also several “confessionals” with the different performers, where they talked about their personal preferences, their experiences in the adult industry, and a variety of other topics. When I saw Ren’s comments about porn companies putting “behind the scenes” stuff on DVDs, I immediately thought of Chemistry 3. The entire film has the feel of those behind the scenes extras. And I think that’s important - a lot of folks could stand to be reminded that people who work in the adult industry are, well, people. Shocking, I know; but porn performers have likes and dislikes, interests and opinions, and parts of their lives that don’t involve fucking - just like the rest of us.

To anyone who goes around spouting off at the mouth about how horrible and exploitative porn is, I’d recommend watching Chemistry 3. The women aren’t getting slapped around and referred to as bitches and sluts, and at no point does anyone have a bored, going-through-the-motions look on his or her face. If you watch Chemistry 3 and call it degrading, to me that says that you think sex on the participants’ own terms, where everyone is enjoying themselves, is degrading.

Oh, and for that matter - because why end with snark? - I recommend Chemistry 3 to anyone who wants to see some good porn. Always Aroused Girl is even having a contest at her blog where you can win a copy. If I were some kind of pseudo-professional porn reviewer with a rating system based on stars or thumbs, I’d give Chemistry 3 the maximum number of those.

[Cross-posted at Pro-Porn Activism]

First of all, I’m staying the fuck out of the latest porn thread at Feministe, because my patience is running very thin these days. But for those who are interested, the over/under on “how long will it take for this thread to derail” was 20. Turns out betting on the “under” was a good call.

And so far, Dacia is the only one speaking sense over there:

However they position themselves politically (and especially if they avoid that entirely), its extremely important to listen to people who work in the adult industry and respect their experiences and knowledge of the way the industry works. So many conversations about porn seem to spin rapidly out of control without giving voice to the people on the inside.

On a practical level, with porn, I find that people sometimes complain about issues of representation that are a function of logistics. For example: porn viewers often complain about the lack of real female orgasms in porn. As many women know, orgasms can be difficult to achieve - sometimes much more so in a roomful of expectant film crew members with hot lights and time/tape a-wasting. As a viewer, I’m totally into the real orgasms. As a producer/director they stress me out. When I used to get naked for money and had clients/photogs demand that kind of authenticity, I would get annoyed and feel put upon if I couldn’t deliver.

I’m glad she decided to drop by and attempt to bring everybody back down to Earth a little, but if I were her I wouldn’t go back another time.

ETA: Mythago is speaking sense, too:

Well, having been one of those “actual women”, I couldn’t agree more. Because my role, apparently, is to either wail about how terrible and exploited I was and how lucky I was to get out, or to STFU because if I don’t spout that line, I’m a brainwashed gender-traitor tool of the patriarchy. I’ve had some anti-porn feminists get angry with me because they’ve been talking about The Poor Sex Workers and I had the nerve to pipe up and say “You don’t speak for me.”

Argh, I must, must stay away… starting… now!